P.s. When he told me about having to give up that much money I looked up a cheap flight from my city to his roundtrip and found a $79 dollar roundtrip ticket and he balked at having to spend $260 for the ticket and said never mind he couldn't afford it. What I don't understand is how is it that he and the wife have 2 vehicles(1 a benz truck),2-3 houses(1 they live in the other with tenants),they are both gainfully employeed so what did I miss?
husbandhater posted on Oct 03, 2009
| views: 101
Or should I be heartless? He had plans to come up and visit next week but Text me a day ago claiming he had to give up over a grand to childsupport b/c they Are claiming he owes. Now he did owe b/c the last couple of checks were short. But I'm not sure about the amount they arrived at. He claims to be discouraged And distraught. Part of me felt bad until I gave up my last two paychecks up to rent,gas,car insurance,and my own Weekly allowance. That meant buying the kids food for the next two weeks and paying for 2nd Sons therapy bills with the childsupport check which only had less than 100$ on it when I got to the supermarket cash register. Talk about burnt. See in my house I buy the kids food and school lunches out of their money. Any left over buys clothes,or pays for sons therapy copays. Hubby and other childs food and expenses go on my bank card. Yes they often hate me at check out with my two bank cards. But this is how I do it. So what r your thoughts on the issue? I think he tries to emotionally blackmail me b/c he's wanted me To take him off for years. But my bills don't stop and neither does my two boys. And I don't really have time for him to short me,bitch about his bills,and dictate how I spend the money and what on(he once told me he didn't want the money going to the baby sitter that that wasn't what he sent his money for. But childcare IS In fact covered under childsupport. My main priority was always to Make sure his level of responsibility was somewhat equal to mine. I mean if something. Comes Up for the kids then the bills have to wait. But he sees it in reverse I've seen. Thank god my kids are heading toward their teen years so that at 18 this Is their fight and no longer mine. (My state allows till age 21) The floor people........
Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Oct 03, 2009....
If the courts have decided on an amount he needs to pay. He paid short so he needs to figure out for himself where he needs to cut back to make that payment. He's an adult and paying for his kids should be a priority. You are doing your part and have no reason to feel bad. If he starts griping about the expense you start griping about the things that you cover for them and let him see that you aren't buying his sob story.I can say this with no second thoughts. I pay child support to my ex and though I hate the extra expense above the money that I already spend on her I don't try to guilt him into letting it slide. -
Eilan said on Oct 03, 2009....
No, you shouldn't feel bad.
Sounds to me like he either needs to CTFU and pay what he owes or go through the necessary channels to try to get the amount reduced. I don't see how complaining to you is going to accomplish anything.
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Hegemone said on Oct 03, 2009....
I agree with Uni in that he's an adult, the children are his, and so they should be his first priority. He needs to figure out what he's going to go without, instead of whining that he had to support his own children. That's plain selfish and disrespectful. The courts decided upon this anyway, so it's not as if you just decided to throw it at him like that. He needs to be accountable for his actions, and this includes paying the full amount that is due. You're right, your bills and your children don't stop ... so he doesn't get to either. He could maybe sell a house or two ... set up an account with the money from even one of those ... and boom, there would be the money, no shorting the check, no whining when the court calls him out, etc. Then, that might be the smart thing to do, and I sort of wonder how smart this guy really is. I wouldn't feel bad. He's just whining because he's worried he might fall off the lap of luxury because of his responsibility to his children. -
LadyGamer said on Oct 03, 2009....
My ex says I am "stealing" from him when I won't stop taking the child support. I feel neither guilt nor concern. First, because I only get half what I could legally and second because he never NEVER supplies anything for his children that I don't force through the courts.I am only ensuring my children have what they need. He did the horizontal mambo that helped create them. I have no intention of letting him walk away from his responsibility. -
woman said on Oct 04, 2009....
No, You shouldn't feel badly. It sounds like you are being extremely responsible about the the use of child support funds. Children cost. Just make sure you don't involve the kids in the drama. Have a clear conscious and give the kids an extra hug. -
husbandhater said on Oct 04, 2009....
Never involve the boys in the drama. I try to keep the things I think about their father to myself. Sometimes I think he's trying then he does things like this and I think he's the asshole that I always thought he was.