I've taken up aspartame-laced soft drinks to solve my LDL cholesterol problem because I failed to restrict myself to water and tea alone. Tea and water are the drinks I (and likely, everyone) should consume exclusively. Thus, I have needlessly introduced a non-natural chemical substance into my body. Aspartame and its byproducts appear harmless according to all credible scientific literature (blogs by non-scientists don't count, sorry zen hippies) but chemical testing is rarely done in combination with other chemicals because it introduces too many variables. This is one reason why the hippies may be right about pesticides. One pesticide MIGHT be safe at certain levels, but it can be difficult to know how that pesticide may react in "safe" doses to someone taking a beta blocker or even an over the counter cold medicine. The tests haven't been done and never will be. The safest bet is to avoid chemicals wherever one reasonably can and I have not performed this simple act of precaution when I entertain my palate with aspartame.

The other concern is that carbonic acid, the ingredient in soda that makes it fizzy can lower pH (increase acidity) of one's blood as the acid atoms (hydrions) are readily absorbed through your intestines and into one's blood. This excess acid must be balanced and your body does this by releasing Calcium into your blood. This can cause osteoporosis over the long haul. To help counter this, I have taken to taking a calcium based antacid once in a while when I'm drinking more soda than may be wise. No doctor has suggested this. It is merely a hypothesis I am pursuing and will run by Dr. Coolidge at some point.

With the self-flagellation out of the way, let me tell you about the consequences of diagnosing and treating myself with minimal guidance from my doctor. Doctor Coolidge is a bright man, I haven't a doubt. He provides sufficiently good medical advice to please a waiting room chock full of patients who obviously approve of their treatment there. That said, he (and, I suspect, MOST physicians) do not and CANNOT take the time to study significant amounts of medical literature on my specific medical complaints. I can get such a doctor if I'm willing to triple my monetary outlay, perhaps. My finances don't make such a course of action an easy choice, however. I'd been watching my cholesterol for some time experimenting with elimination of trans-fat (partially hydrogenated oils), alcohol (literally "drinking for medicinal purposes"), and other countermeasures that failed to reduce my LDL and raise my HDL cholesterol. (Low and High Density Lipoprotein). It was a casual affair, testing myself every 6 months or so until IT happened.

The mysterious subsiding of my body's "enthusiasm" for romance. The first time, I was fine with shrugging it off as a fluke. I'm getting old and maybe I need to read certain magazines a little less often. That helped a while but it was wretchedly inconvenient as it became stressful if I was interested in romance for a few days and had to forgo pictorial literature and the missus was not buying what I had to sell. We can chalk up the result to the same weakness that inspires me to drink diet soda, I suppose, when I report that this plan met with failure and I was "unprepared" when my wife suggested intimacy.

Chalking this symptom up to old age and rather upbeat about my prospects for treatment I saw Dr Coolidge and asked for remedies and he hadn't any suggestions beyond prescribing Viagra and Levitra. The waiting room full of satisfied patients may well be pleased with that response to my issue, but you've just read my philosophy on chemicals. As one ages, the stack of chemicals gets taller and your odds for breaking stuff in yourself increases. I was not about to begin sliding down that slippery slope when I was this young. I accepted the prescription and put it in my medicine cabinet. Then I hit the books.

Let me tell you, if you were happy to take the first suggestion that came along, you were going too buy that Viagra. It's the hammer that makes every E.D. case look like a nail (metaphor unintended but mischievously retained.) Fortunately, Dr Mirkin's site gave me some leads. Two problems are common causes to E.D. (erectile dysfunction a.k.a. impotence), the nerve signals are getting to where they need to go or the signals are there but the floodgates can't open.

The first problem, nerve damage, may (but not exclusively) be caused by injury to the area or chemical damage to the nerves. The nerve damage of the chemical variety is seldom restricted to the genitalia so you may find impotence coinciding with tingling extremities (fingers), often the first sign used to diagnose neuropathy (nerve damage). One common cause of neuropathy is damage inflicted on nerves by sorbitol, a chemical manufactured by the body when excess sugar is in the blood stream and not handled properly (stored in muscles and the liver as glycogen, a useful energy storehouse). This is a common occurrence in people diagnosed with diabetes.

The second issue, shutting down the blood supply, is most commonly caused by blockage of the blood vessels which, in turn, is most commonly caused by fatty plaques lining the blood vessels. As I've mentioned in previous entries, these plaques cause damage wherever they come to rest and cause strokes, heart attacks and impotence. The plaques may also cause local inflammation which may damage the blood vessels causing longer term harm in those areas.

I went back to Dr Coolidge and insisted on a reliable diabetes test that does NOT require fasting called the "Hemoglobin A1C" test. The receptionist at Dr Coolidge''s office was convinced one had to fast before taking the test, so watch out for uninformed health professionals. They mean well, but the scientific literature trumps all. Be prepared. The Heme A1C test measures sorbitol stuck to red blood cells which correlates closely with sorbitol stuck to other cells, like nerves. My readings showed I was well in the healthy range. This left arteriosclerosis as the most likely key to my bedroom obstacle.




Next: Taming the Beast and "Lucy! You have some 'splainin' too do!!!!!!!"