Yes, the man admitted, there was an eel inside him. He had been suffering from constipation, he told the dubious medical staff, and thought that inserting an eel into his rectum would relieve it.
The man was rushed to the operating room, where an emergency laparoscopy disclosed that a 50-cm (19-inch) eel was biting the side of his colon. The eel also had also taken a bite out of his rectum wall in transit, so to speak. After surgeons removed the animal and reconstructed the rectum, the man's pain and constipation were both cured. He was discharged from the hospital a week later.
Not our man. He just could not let loose change go. He removed the cover from the sewer, lay down on the road, and stuck his head and upper body down the drain. In this position, fishing around for coins, his lower body was lying across the road.
His financial plans went wrong when a Ford SUV turned the corner. The driver, of course, failed to notice him. One does not expect to see half a person lying on the roadbed. The vehicle's bumper struck the man.
Our nominee was rushed to St. Vincent's Hospital in serious condition, with a broken pelvis and internal injuries. Had he been run over by the tire instead of struck by the bumper, police say it is likely he would not have survived.
Loose change is not worth the risk!
