She called me through her mobile phone. She wanted to meet me at the Mall of Asia in Manila to discuss a very important issue concerning our relationship. She set our meeting place at a very popular fastfood. She was half an hour ahead of me. It was September 21, the day Martial Law was proclaimed in the Philippines past two decades. She was wearing her P.E. pants and a tshirt with the logo of the University of the Philippines. To hide my identity, I wore a baseball cap and dark glasses. She could not hide her laugh when she saw me. You look more of a secret agent than a priest, she said. No I look more of a robber than a priest, I countered. After consuming my hamburger and a cup of chocolate, we decided to look for a more private place. We settled to a coffee shop where there were few customers.

What do we need to talk about, I asked her. Nothing... I just want to be with you, she said. Actually she is bothered about a letter she received from a friend. It was all about a relationship between a female call center agent and a married minister. The call center agent is three months pregnant and the minister left to one of the Asian countries to avoid her. And what is the connection between the relationship of the call center agent and the minister to us, I asked her. Nothing except that I am bothered up to how long we can hide this relationship, she answered me. Are you in a hurry to fix up things to our favor, I asked her. I love you PM, and I want to be with you. I want to share my feelings, my problems, my ideas with you like an ordinary boyfriend. For a few minutes I could not say anything. I did not know how to react to her statement.

Is it too much for me to ask you to leave priesthood, right now...now na, she said as though she is all that desperate. If I have my way, now na, I broke my long silence. She look at me and asked again, "When is now na?" She had so many questions I could not answer. I am not ready how to handle this kind of relationship in a manner that I could not tarnish my image as a priest. Many times I am tempted to pursue tha wanting of my flesh but I struggled on to control myself. She is so romantic, just like any young woman at her age she wants to explore so many exciting things in any given relationship. Me, as a young priest, also feel the same. I am sexually attracted to her. If I have my way (if I can no longer hold on to my vocation) I would spend a night with her. She told me, she wanted to go to bed with me. I WANT IT TOO. NOW NA! But I am still a priest. I smeel her scent, I see her sexy body, I want to kiss her lips... I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE.

I went back to the convent still pure although I mentally and physically struggled for it. For how long can I endure. The next time she will call me, I do not kiss her on the lips only. But probably I would have sex with her. Now I resolved, I have to quit priesthood. No matter what, I'll leave the convent pure as I am before falling into sin. I'll marry her if not in the church, in a civil wedding.