I spoke with my beloved guru a few minutes ago - he's back in New York, which would ordinarily make me happy, 'cept I am in the mountains of West Bumf*ck.
"Yoda" was full of admonishments. I told him how upset I was at being called a religious fundamentalist. "Why do you care what he thinks?" he said.
"Shouldn't I?" I asked
"That all depends on your motives." Do I genuinely wish that he would open himself to the possibilities of a God, or do I just want to soothe my ego? Good point. That's why he's the guru.
And then I told him how upset I felt that our intern was ready to quit after only two days. "You must encourage other people to listen to their heart," he said.
Hmmm.
And then he asked about my love life. Seriously, dude? I thought this was about spiritual enlightenment. I tried to change the subject. I have questions about my meditation practice.
Nothing doing.
"Firefly, you are too young to be alone, and too sexy to be celibate. Get on with it already." His accent is priceless. I wish I could do it justice in print, it's like the yogic version of Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
I'm 40, Sha - I was already married, no need to throw good lovin' after bad - LOL.
Oh boy, that was the wrong thing to say ... the old man has no shame when discussing delicate matters. Yes, it was shrouded in the spiritual. He mentioned rising kundalini, the root chakra, etc., but bottom line "Firefly, it would do you well to be deeply f*cked with wild abandon and that is not going to happen while you are sitting home alone."
Sheesh.
"I feel you blushing," he said to my silence.
Ya think? I'll be blushing until February or March at this rate. An old man who has spent the last 10 years teaching me secrets of spiritual awakening just told me I needed to get schtupped. Mind you, this is the general consensus among my closest friends, but it isn't that easy, people.
"Should I put an ad in the paper, Abhayan?" I joked.
"E Harmony," he says. Come on now! "Leave out the part about getting f*cked. You can worry about that later. Just make a connection."
We both laughed. I love his laugh - so pure, so joyful.
But I continued to protest. I thought celibacy was good for spiritual enlightenment.
"Only if you're ugly," he joked.
Really?
"Look," he told me, "You are celibate because of fear, let's not pretend to have any higher motives."
LOLOL! He reads me like a book.
"Baby girl, Buddha said let yourself be open and life will be easier. So open."
