In these tough financial times, do you find yourself daydreaming about things like winning the lottery? I do. Of course, I no longer buy lottery tickets. I used to, but I heard somewhere that we are more likely to be hit by lightening than to win the lottery. I believe that because I know a guy that was struck by lightening not once, but twice. He was (and maybe still is) an avid golf player. You know, one of those guys that did not know when to come in out of the rain, or maybe he was caught by surprise. The last I heard, he has lukemia probably brought on by being struck by lightening, according to his doctor.

I have been unemployed since the first of the year so, like many of you, I am also checking out work-at-home, make-a-living-off-the-internet opportunities. None of those look all that promising so far. When I heard about SoulCast on craigslist.com, I signed up for Google AdSense and expected to make at least a few dollars a month from all my brilliant writing here. We all know how that turned out -- AdSense no longer works on SoulCast as far as I know. So I started another blog on another site and, to make a long story short, I have amassed around $36 after being on AdSense for several years, and I made most of that here, before it stopped working. Google only pays when you get to $100.

I also daydream about revamping my other blogsite to something more appealing to people, something that would make them want to click the Google ads. You know, penis enlargement or something like that. Although, if you are like me you do not know what to do with what you already have. Why would you need more? I am no porn star, but I am OK with what I have. I do remember when I was a little kid, and we used to compare notes in the backyard. One guy's penis was the size of my little finger ... then. And one girl had nothing at all. I can only hope the guy's weenie got bigger as he got older and now I know the girl was OK as is.

There used to be a preacher on TV who kept saying all you needed was one inspired idea to make a fortune. Of course, he started out talking about things like that and ended up talking about Jesus and God and stuff like that. After all, he was a preacher. However, he was right. Some people get one good idea and it makes them a fortune. They are set for life and leave millions to their wives and children. We have been watching Royal Pains on the USA network. It is set in the Hamptons. They are always referring to the rich people that live there in terms of how they got there ... "Do you have a blender? He invented the blender." Can you imagine inventing something like a blender? That is the sort of thing that most people figure just fell out of heaven, a gift from God, like the Ten Commandments being handed to Moses. There are some things that you just think of as always being there because every freaking person you know has one, or two, or three. I guess that is where the "inspired" part comes in ... "hey, moron, this is God, invent a blender, here are the specifications".

So I daydream about inventing something. I usually think of something that would be really cool, like Post It Notes. (How the frack did we ever live without Post It Notes. Yes, my young friend. There was a day when NO ONE had Post It Notes.) I usually invent something out of a need I have. You know, I am out working in the yard, hammering on the house, or fixing the plumbing and I realize that my life would be much easier if I had a so and so or a such and such. All the time I am battling the job at hand, I am thinking about my new invention and how to get it patented. Pretty soon I am directing the TV commercials in my mind and counting piles of money sent to me thanks to Billy Maze (may he rest in peace) or his replacement. Once I finish the job at hand, I run into the house and share my idea with my wife. After all, she is about to be rich, too. As soon as I get my idea across to her, she says "What about this and that? How will that work?" Damn it. She is right. What a stupid idea. Another million-dollar idea down the drain. There have been a couple of times that that was not the case -- she actually agreed that I have a good idea. Hmmm. Or is she just trying to be supportive.

There are other, more down to earth ways to get rich, or to at least make a living, from a brilliant idea. You know, the kind of ideas that lead to a business, an ongoing endevor, not just a one-time invention. Many people turn hobbies into businesses. We have all heard that phrase "do what you love and the money will follow". Bull chips. The only thing I can think of that I really love is having sex or looking at naked women. How the hell can I make a living out of that? Well, I could, but I could no longer show my face at church, or anywhere respectible. I could make dirty movies, rent dirty movies, or sell dirty magazines. Yuck. Do you know the kind of people that hang around dirty magazine and video shops? Thank god for internet porn. Never again will I have to wander around the local video store waiting for an opportunity to slip into the little room where the X-rated videos are kept. I have never been to an X-rated movie house. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Anyway, I am also persuing something more realistic. I am trying to think of a new way to make money in the real world. You know, change career paths. I have changed what I do several times in my life, but usually it was not really my idea. It just happened. "You have been doing yadda yadda, so you could easily do this job. Interested?" I am a classic example of "if you have no idea where you are going, you will end up where you are at".

So far, nothing has popped up and said "do me". Nothing looks any more appealing than what I have been doing. Maybe I have done everything I am capable of doing or everything I am willing to do. Like I do not think I could be a telemarketer unless I was selling something like blenders. But who buys blenders from telemarketers. They are usually trying to get you to come to a presentation where they will strongarm you into buying a timeshare condo in Colorado, or something you really do not need. I just could not do that. I am too empathetic. I have been in one of those presentations. It is not a comfortable situation. I did get a new telephone out of it though. It was a piece of crap.

Oh well. I also daydream about making music videos and posting them on Youtube. I will let you know if I ever do that, but I probably will not. I like being anonymous. I have written some pretty good songs according to my wife, and you know she is not afraid to be critical. Or I could post some how-to play guitar videos. There have to be a million of those out there.

As I said, I do have a couple of good invention ideas. One idea is for something used at Christmas time similar to something that already exist, but better, I think. That is another alternative for the inventor -- improve on someone else's invention. Make one that is bigger, better, smaller, portable, or whatever. That is what makes the past so funny. Seeing pictures or movies of people talking on portable phones the size of a blender ...

Why the hell do I keep thinking about blenders? God, are you trying to tell me something?