I wanted to be able to write about something like that.
That will have the uplifting effect of the sun shining after long rainy days that lasted for two or three weeks here, I lose count of the days already.
But of course that'd be too ambitious. hehe
Each time i feel happy or am currently seeing and feeling how wonderful it was to be alive and be part of something, I am always filled with longing to share it with people. I know I'd need it if I'm feeling down.
Always I look for things and reasons to be happy, other times I just am happy, regardless if I have the right circumstances or not. And its a miracle for me to be happy without justifiable reason to be.
I know God's with me in these times. and I'd do what I can to keep myself from blocking his presence, not to be occupied with my worldly worries and problems.
for a long time I feel useless for not being able to provide more financially for my parents and family. I had this grand dream when I was young that when I grew up and finish school, I will be rich in no time at all and give the best life ever to my parents. Send them to leisure trips all around the philippines then abroad. Send them to the best places ever, buy them the latest cars, clothes, accessories, provide for their health needs and build them a house where they wont ran out of things to do.
For mom a big greenhouse garden, a huge house that needs a lot of cleaning - with helpers all around to do as she bid, tagalog movies she like to watch, a kitchen for baking.
For dad a minibar with high end billiard table, dart boards, air gun and fishing pole - and his own boat for fishing, unlimited dvds of his choice, 5 different newspapers everyday, a top of the line radio, his own multimedia videoke system
And anything else they'd ever dream of.
I am not able to provide all this up to now. My parents seem happy with each and everyone in the family finding their own place in the sun. Mom said she'll be happiest if she see all of us happily married and started our own family.
Dad takes life easy like any retired old people would.
I dont have the circumstances that I have always thought will make me happy but as of this moment in my life, I am happy and contented with the way things are and with the way things are not.
But Im still aiming for that grand life. I bet mom and dad would like to go back to palawan and spend the rest of their lives there, they said so. Who knows I may be as near now to fulfill on that than before.
Right now I'm just soo thankful of my life and everyone in it. I hope everyone who'll read this will be as grateful. Not just in words but to really feel it inside.
