• uniquely-ironic said on Sep 11, 2009....

  Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.  Of course you can still be mad and yet forgive.  It also helps to remember that forgiveness is not for the trespasser, but the person who was wronged.  You're not required to forget either.
   
  When all else fails it helps to remember that at one point or another you have asked for and needed forgiveness.  How can you deny someone else that same gift?

• starchini said on Sep 11, 2009....

  Yes but its hard to feel like you have made the decision to forgive.  I feel like "letting the anger go" is a big part of forgiveness.  It doesnt do much good to tell someone you forgive them and still be bitter about it.  You mean me being the person who was wronged is forgiving for my benefit and not the asshole? 

  I really want to forgive, but its hard for me to actually feel like I have.  I can say the words, but im still pissed therefore giving the impression that I have not really forgiven anything...

  Time heals all wounds?  Im fairly good at repression, maybe that will help. 

• Hegemone said on Sep 11, 2009....

  I can understand what you mean, it doesn't feel like you're really committed to the forgiveness if you haven't completely dropped it and stopped being upset.  But then, who knows, maybe that's just the beginning of forgiveness, maybe that's the way it works.  The apology and acceptance of it enables you to work things out in your mind, knowing that it's come full circle, so that you can calm down.

• scipio said on Sep 12, 2009....

  Forgive - but don't forget.

  Alternatively, never forget to forgive - if apologies have been tendered.

  The burden of carrying on the grudge forever is too heavy. sometimes you have to let go and feel light and move on.

• hairbrushedhubby said on Sep 12, 2009....

  Hey, forgiveness isn't all that hard, just take yourself off to a big mirror, have a look at yourself and see if you have angel wings sprouting out.

  If you do, fine, congratulate yourself, if not, then you have to accept that you are as normal as the rest of us mortals.

  I am sure you have done things in your life that you needed forgiveness over, and recieved, so do the same to another poor soul.

• queenparanoia said on Sep 12, 2009....

  forgive but dont forget... instead learn from it... it's hard forgetting...

• destinydiva said on Sep 21, 2009....

  I battle with forgivness daily, my ex is a hard man to forgive when he is in my face everyday.. still!!
  
  I cant stop feeling bitter as much as I hate the feelings I have..
  
  reading your post and the comments, has helped me tonight, thankyou xxx
  

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