Today I was able to share with the counsellor (good heavens I have no-one else to share with except online peeps) how pleased with myself I was after Friday.
I'd travelled with my TG as I'd promised to her varsity to be in support of pleas to have papers adjusted.
One paper conflicts with the pre-req that my TG studied six years ago; she's struggling with the workload as she has to try and learn six months' pre-req content in order to do this current paper; lecturer threw a public hissy fit at TG when asked to assist; lecturer so confrontational that TG is too scared to continue the paper.
The other two papers are also too difficult for her. She'd like to drop them, but needs the varsity to help her negotiate full-time equivalent status in order to preserve her student income.
The trip involved an hour and a half on train, crossing part of the city on foot to get to the bus terminal, half an hour on the bus, lots of walking across the campus. For me and my anxiety-bordering-on-agoraphobia this was HUGE. But I managed.
I also managed an unforeseen walk from campus to an office downtown. This walk involved Steeply Sloping Paths, and Flights of Steps with Flimsy Handrail the only thing between me and a Steep Drop into Gullies. I held it together till step-flight three,at which point halfway down I burst into sobs. Pulled m'self together again and completed the walk. But have to admit was glad of the offer to take the bus back to campus for the meeting.
At the meeting the Dean found some good solutions to the problems. (At least I think they're good solutions.) TG will have to make a concession re the tricky paper, is all. But now has some much more suitable ideas of what papers to be able to study first semester 2010 to complete the paper. So we took the bus, walked, took the train home... Whew! Family support for wierd adult offspring - Done.
(O that does look bad I know. But I'm starting to get myself into Me-Protection mode - at last, after 37 years)
With the counsellor today we realised I have some issues still to face, and some options to consider.
Issue 1 - suppport/allow/encourage DH to express (or even to face or decide) what he actually wants/expects from a relationship, and from or for his three kids.
Issue 2 - support/allow/encourage offspring to express what their goals are, and how they're going to make it happen (or get closer).
Issue 3 - plan a realistic opportunities budget - funds I will need and how I'd get them (ie costs of living alone, and job opportunites)
Option 1 - Bide my time until I can get a job, then leave DH to his own devices, and never mind where/how the kids will live..
Option 3 - Bide my time until DH gets his new position, relocate him there, I remain where I am (with/without a job not an issue yet) until the kids get settled, and we "drift" apart as distance facilitates.
Option 3 - Bide my time until DH gets the new position, we flick the house onto the market and sell up, divvy up the final sum, and go our separate ways, never mind where/how the kids will live.
As you see, I'm not in a rush. I've been biding my time all these years,. The difference is that I've been biding my time until ... nothing defined. Fairy godmother? Lotto win? A forced hand?
Now I'll be biding my time until the first or best opportunity arises, and we've more or less defined what each would be.
So feeling hopeful at the moment. = Feeling a bit more relaxed, yeh?
