I walked to the workout center for our university. Since my ankle is still broken, I took the elevator and found 4 incredibly blank statues in the exact same pose, staring at the numbers up top. I needed to bring life to them but rather than talk straight to them, I talked to the elevator buttons. I continued the conversation until another girl joined in after staying in the thing for about 10 minutes and 20 rides up and down. This is not the conversation, but it was something like this:

> Why hello there! How are you guys today?
> Oh really? That's great to hear. Tell me now, what ever happened to elevator music?
> Why does six hate it so much?
> Well that's not a good reason to be mad at 2.
> Oh two just shut off. At least 4 is still shiny.
> Well thank you very much button four, I just got these shoes last week.
> That's because my other ones were too slippery and could not fit over the brace.
> Well I wouldn't think that you guys do much walking. Being buttons and all.
> I'm didn't say you don't do work, I just didn't think you moved around a lot.
> I meant in the horizontal direction.
> I bet that also gives you guys quite a workout, you know, carrying all those people.
> Yeah, Humans do sweat a lot.
> Most of them do stink.
> But if you worked in the elevator closer to the locker rooms, you wouldn't get as many interesting people.
> Do people really grope you?
> No wonder 1 is so shy. She must get felt up hundreds of times every day.
> Why do say that.
> You're right. Do you think someone will?
> Oh my god! That guy just inappropriately touch number three. (You should have seen this guy's face.)
> Do you get cleaned often?
> I suppose the floor does need it more.
> Eeeww. I don't think I'll be playing with you guys anytime soon.
> Really? I didn't think elevator buttons played many games.
> Exactly how do you play tag?
> Oh, that's kinda cool. Who usually wins?
> It makes sense that 6 doesn't get used too much. Is that why he is so grumpy?
> Oh, that again? Why can't you and six get along?
> I'm sorry, but I'm going to agree with six, not many people like jazz. Definitely more prefer rock.
> Why?
> I guess your owners should try to keep as positive a mood as they can hear.
> You play the sax?
> I suppose you do look sorta like an upside saxophone, two.
> I'm sorry three, but you look more like sideways testicles than a drum set.
> I didn't mean it that way.
> I'm not about to go there.
> Five, you do not look fat.
> Well 1 is naturally going to look thinner.
> It's not because you don't eat right. Wait... what the hell do buttons eat?
> Didn't you say 1 got more work though?
> Oh... the same amount of electrical food, but 1 exercises more.
> I don't think it's because people don't like you, I think more people use the entrance than yoga rooms.
> because Everyone uses the entrances.
> Not the smartest button on the panel are you?
> Hey, at least I have legs.
> That's it I'm not talking to you any more.
> No, I'm just not talking to 5 anymore.
> Wow. 1 actually said something.
> Well, I think she is just jealous of you.
> Some times it's good to be popular.
> I should get going.
> I hope to hear you play the saxophone the next time I'm here, two.
> See you later!

Best of wishes in all thy future endeavors & ♥ ∞,
— the one without shade