If life gives you lemons is it against the rules to make hard lemonade?
My oldest daughter left yesterday, on a bus, for seattle washington. She withdrew from high school, asked this 40 yr old guy she's known for 3 weeks, over the internet, to collar her and is going to go be His FT, TPE slave. She had a job, scholarships...now all she has is this guy she hopes is all He says He is. And the plan is "If He's not, i'll just leave Him and get my own place." Nievete is the curse of the young and cynicism is the curse of the aged.
I am sad and frustrated and clueless as to what to do. Her Master has said we may stay in contact with her as long as He doesn't see it as negative or harmfull. What does that mean? Can i tell her i miss her? What if i have news about her sibblings that isn't fun, like my son may have fractured his pelvis at Football practice yesterday (the lemons just keep comming)? Is that too negative? What if she asks my opinion on something and i don't think it's a good idea? Is that harmful, in His opinion? I HATE, beyond reason, not knowing! This is my child. And His idea of setting my mind at ease is to tell me not to worry because after 3 weeks He loves her as much as i do. Really? as much as i do? huh. isn't that interesting.
I'm so frustrated and worried. I am praying for her..continually praying for her. I know the only way to get through this is to let it go, to give it to God and let Him be responsible for her well being, as i can't really do anything about it from this side of the continent anyway. But it's hard to do. Letting go is always hard for any parent, but this is so drastic, so sudden. I am afraid this will hurt her so much more than the pain she is running away from. *sighs*
All this is the reason i don't really get on much these days and don't get too much time to read other people stuff. I'm kinda bogged down right now, but it'll get better. I'm moving in a positive direction, focusing on the 5 children who are still with us and praying Gods best for my daughter. It's hurts and i am worried, but in spite of my frustrations, i know God has a plan for her and i am going to rest in His faithfulness...*this is me speaking those things that are not as though they are...smirk* I know He can, i know He will...i'm just not so sure i'm thrilled with the timing.
I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You more, more than words can say
I need You more than ever before
I need You Lord, I need You Lord
More than the air i breathe
more than the song i sing
more than the next heart beat
more than anything an Lord
As time goes by
I will be by Your side
'Cause i never want to go back
to my old life
I need You Lord
