Something I've been thinking about over the last little while. All right, so I've said it before, I want to have a really nice looking house, one of those kinds you could flip open a catalogue or magazine and see. Then I get to thinking more in depth on that matter. I now realize it's not so much that I want that, because I would not want to have to run myself like crazy trying to keep animal hair, dirt and grease off of it ... but I want the OPTION of having it if I want it, or something close to it. I want the lived in version. I want my options. I want the ability to choose to have a spiffy looking room, or to have a dingy lived in one. Right now it doesn't feel like I get to have much choice because there is so little respect for me and my cleaning, but some day that will change.
Another thing that sort of hit me, last week actually, was the whole looking for a job thing. It didn't feel very real or anything until Friday when I was sitting at home not because I called off, was sick or there was inclement weather ... I had been told not to work because there wasn't anything to do. I kept feeling this fluttering panicky feeling, and I did not like being at home when I should have been at work. So I think I've also slowly been realizing how serious this is and how screwed I could be soon. For this week my boss has determined that now I will be working the whole week instead of leaving early on any specific days. Also, it turns out that I do have Monday off for the holiday and not Friday like she had originally said (couldn't for the life of me figure out WHY we'd have Friday off). Boy will that confuse my dad after him assuming I wasn't working at all, then getting told I was only working a few hours, and now that I'll be working my full week.
Also I've been thinking about a lot of other things differently, like things that will require me to do more work, physically or mentally. In a way, I look at those things and go 'Damn, I don't want things to be harder!' but then on the other hand I think 'So what if they're hard, it'll suck while I'm doing it, I'll get through it and feel good when it's done and nobody can take it away from me and give somebody else the credit.' I'm so sick of doing things so selflessly and somebody else getting the credit, so yeah, I'll be doing things now with my own motives in mind, to hell with them, I'll have my credit and eat it too ... errr, well, you know what I mean.
I really want to concentrate on my writing some too. It's something I've always wanted to pursue, being published or widely read in some fashion or another. Online used to always be good enough, but now I want to see something of mine in print, and something good. I'm not saying I've got anything written that's already there, but I want to really work on my writing skill and see what I can do. Even if it's just one story, one little thing, published 40 years from now, that's OK. It gives me a sort of peace, I go to another place when I'm writing and I love the feelings I have before, during and after I've written something that I really like. This needs to happen more often. Further, it'll make it easier when I feel my heart pulling at me because I can't literally climb into the life of a book I'm reading. I can just write my own story and immerse myself if I want to.
Hegemone posted on Sep 01, 2009
| views: 225
Comments
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simplyconfused said on Sep 01, 2009....
I love the thinking you have now! It's very moving forward and things are for yourself. Which is good! I def. know what you mean by being able to climb into the life of a book your reading. That is usually my escape, by reading. I find that I can feel the emotions of the main character, and really be them type deal. Sometimes it's not so good when it's a crazy murderer or something feeling how they do, (only when reading, not in real life when I put the book down! 0.0) But hopefully you know what I mean ha ha =p -
Hegemone said on Sep 01, 2009....
Simply - I perfectly get what you mean. I think that's why I've jumped so much into reading even more lately. I mean, I was a big reader before this last year, but as things in my life have progressively grown more stressful I've found myself reading more and more, seemingly swallowing books whole in a short amount of time. -
mixednuts said on Sep 01, 2009....
Everything changes! Try a pre-fab home! NO! not a mobile! a pre-fab! -
wombat said on Sep 01, 2009....
Totally agree with ya on two main points here--a place of your own to do as you wish, nice as a magazine, or messy if you want.....yours!And the writing.....we are on the same page there! I even recently said to hubby, "I don't really want much more in my life, things are pretty good considering. But before I die, I want to have something published with my name and picture on the cover, even if I have to pay for it and no one buys a single copy!But it sure would be nice to have an article in the paper saying, "Local author has book signing at" blah, blah, blah!So I'm here to say, If you dream it, begin it. There is magic in the power of belief!(Goethe)(you just got me excited about my plans to write all winter long when I quit my stupid job!) -
MsStar39 said on Sep 01, 2009....
Hege I have always thought that you were a great writer and happy to hear that you want to pursue it, you should join Bella, they are always looking for more writers, I will send you more info on it. -
Hegemone said on Sep 01, 2009....
Mixed - Ehhh, what's a pre-fab home? There'll be no mobil homes in the future for me of any kind if I can help it. The thought of living in one of those makes my stomach turn because when I was young my parents and I lived in one, and it burned, nearly taking us with it. Let's just say there are no good memories or feelings there.
Wombie - Yes, that's the main point, MY place. Lol glad to get you back excited again about the writing. It is definitely awesome and that's the way I feel too. Hell, even if it's just a short story in a magazine. Something to buy a copy of and say 'This is MINE and I did it!'
MsStar - Oh, sounds very interesting, I'll get to that message now, thank you!
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CreativeWoman said on Sep 01, 2009....
My parents have a pre-fab home. It's built in a factory and then brought to you in two or more pieces and put together on your lot. It's a regular house, just built in a factory. :-) I would take theirs over mine.
What kinds of things do you want to try and publish? I could probably help you find some markets or at least point you toward some.
CW
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Hegemone said on Sep 01, 2009....
CW - OK, now I get what it is, that doesn't sound bad, but an actual trailer (mobil home) I don't think I could handle. Every one I've been in since scares me a little because of that experience. I'd never wish it on anyone, which is why I was so sympathetic when you told me about your parents' home. I don't even know quite what I want to publish yet, ha, just about anything really. I mean of course something of interest to me, but I don't know what yet. Probably some sort of short story, whether it be one I already have in a much more edited, perfected draft, or something new. I'll start small, lol. -
CreativeWoman said on Sep 01, 2009....
Hege,
Have fun with it. :-) Maybe you could apply for jobs at newspapers. That's how I fed my writing bug back when I was young and single. I was a reporter for a weekly newspaper. I covered lots of boring things like city council and school board meetings, but I was writing for a living. It was a long time ago. I was probably your age then.
CW
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Hegemone said on Sep 01, 2009....
CW - You know, that might not be a half bad idea, and I know there's lots of times you can do that sort of stuff on the side more or less, so it wouldn't be a huge scheduling conflict. Might have to explore this avenue, thank you for the idea! -
speaking_up said on Sep 01, 2009....
About your writing...I was a columnist for 5 years (back in the day when I owned a business). How I started to get published was to volunteer for those small newspapers and magazines that couldn't afford to pay for writers. Pick a topic (my has always been on human resources and employment as that WAS my career specialty)...that you know something about inside and out...focus on that one area and do up about 3 or 4 articles...and go on in and submit your writings for free...if they like your writing, and it works with their purpose and target market - you've got yourself some published writing experience.It worked for me...I won a few penmanship awards, and later even got PAID for every word I wrote.*sigh* Where has life taken me????????????????????????????Anyway, that is what happened for me, perhaps it can work for you too!Good luck, friend... -
Me-Myself&I said on Sep 02, 2009....
i feel a change in the air for you girl! keep on, keeping on! you have a strong will in you so, you won't let yourself down, i just know it!
so i wish....and Hope ;~) you all the best in whatever you do! i say this from my heart!
have a good day. take care ~see ya
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Hegemone said on Sep 02, 2009....
Speaking - Wow, now see that gives me a little direction, or guidance rather on how to go about this. I really appreciate your sharing that with me. That definitely sounds like something I can do, and also I can walk into a scenario prepared instead of blind, not knowing so much what to expect. Thank you again!
MMI - Thank you. I feel a change in the air too, and it's good, and I want it to stick around for quite some time, so I'm going to push through and do what I have to do. Feels good.
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