• secretlife said on Aug 21, 2009....

  puss-  sometimes we just have to help ourselves-  because we need the help.  and you can't help anyone else unless you are strong and healthy, ya know?
   
  it's time to let it go puss.  we all love and lose-  it's part of the human condition.  and yes, the challenge for every person is to not become so jaded that we stop trying to fly./love. 
   
  i wish you didn't see yourself as a victim........that's not fair and not true-  and i know you know this on some level.
   
  time to heal and move on.........time to tell yourself that you tried your best, and have nothing to feel a failure about.
   
  It's time.
   
   
   
   

• pusscat said on Aug 21, 2009....

  Oh secret - it's such a mess.  I was told just the other day by a Dom that has wanted me for a while that he was claiming me as his if that's what I wanted.  He was going to be the Daddy Dom that I needed.  I trusted him, known him since last year, supported me on many occasions now he just stops contact.  No txt.  Nothing.  No reply to my question of what have I done wrong.  My trust is being crushed secret and I don't know how much more I can take!!

• alabamagirl said on Aug 21, 2009....

  We can't please everyone no matter how hard we try.  You are a source of comfort and support to many others.  I can tell that by your posts and your comments.
  
  Persevere, my friend, persevere.
  

• secretlife said on Aug 21, 2009....

  puss-  i know you know the risks of this online stuff better than most.
  it's a big leap of faith to trust someone who very well might not deserve our trust.
  maybe it's time puss to put the D/s stuff away for a little while and concentrate on making yourself stronger?  It might be that you are too needy right now and that's scaring these people away?
   
  in the end, it's you who is hurt and broken, and you really are too fragile right now-
  you need to take the steps to protect yourself. 

• Katalina said on Aug 21, 2009....

  Oh sweetie, that was said so damn perfectly, just like you, i have always cared and tended to others, to the point that i forget to take care of myself.  I have always been naturally submissive ever since I can remember, so when I found this lifestyle, i knew it was my calling and it was meant to be. It made me complete, however in my vanilla life, still i do for others and put myself aside. Just the last couple of days I have had my own battle with realizing i am the one  that everyone vents to. So yes, it hurts to realize that you do things out of the kindness of your heart and it is taken for granted, way to many times ! I have a book of those scars !
  Hold your head high...things will get better and you just remember that it is a GREAT thing to have such a kind loving heart. There is not to many that do these days !
  

• starchini said on Aug 21, 2009....

  Your the boss of you, ya know? 

• hairbrushedhubby said on Aug 21, 2009....

  Secretlife,

  Take it from someone that has seen that, done that, and got the t-shirt, at 62 I have run the gauntlet of life, and if it helps you at all, you have to experience the bad bits of life so that you can appreciate the good bits more, otherwise life would be so mundane you would be bored whitless.

  Now no more self-recrimination, get back on your feet and enjoy life and being you, if you don't I will borrow the wife's hairbrush and give you a good spanking,

  now then, go out and get living again.

• GrapeKoolaid said on Aug 21, 2009....

  PeeCee:  I guarantee that the butterflies in your stomach, the flushed cheeks, the excitement of the anticipation of the moment will all come back in due time.  It won't be the same as the one you left behind, but that's okay, too.  That's what will make it that much more interesting. 
   
  I wish you quiet understanding and inner strength to persevere. 

• wombat said on Aug 21, 2009....

  I've been learning that you can fly around, do what you can for others, and still please yourself.

  It's a delicate balance, but it can be done.

  Just ignore the noise.

• HisHoneybee said on Aug 23, 2009....

  pusscat...  {{{BIG HUGS}}}
   
  Take care of you that is what is important

• lilfcktoy said on Aug 24, 2009....

  thank you so much for the welcome and kind words! I'm not sure what your exact circumstances are, but never apologize for being a romantic and a giving person! I am the same way, and it's true, it's easier to get hurt that way, but trust me, it will be worth it in the end. Also, if it helps- I am a firm believer in this statement: "how people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours." stay true to yourself sweetheart, and this too shall pass.

• pusscat said on Aug 25, 2009....

  I know I have been MIA from my own post and I do apologise.  I wanted to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who came here to help and support me.  You guys are great.  There was some very good advice from all of you but I wanted to say that I believe what secret said really hit home.  Not in a bad way but in a good, positive way.  You made me really take stock of things secret.  I have now realised that I not only failed myself, I failed a dear frien of mine, the Dom whom I felt abandoned by.  It is I who apologised to him for failing him.  I was so blinkered I couldn't see that he was falling and desperately needed a friend.  Not just a friend, but someone who knew what he was and could understand that side of things.  Well now it's my turn to pick myself up and help someone and not concentrate on me so much.  When I help others it has always been a therapy to me.  I feel positive this morning for the first time in a while :-)

• mixednuts said on Aug 25, 2009....

  This post opened my eyes. I needed your point of view.

• pusscat said on Aug 25, 2009....

  I'm glad if it helped you mixed.  It often takes another post doesn't it to make you see things clearer.  Hope you're ok hun.

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