• pusscat said on Aug 19, 2009....

  We never 'get over' the loss of our loved ones, we learn to live with it.  Huge difference.  If i ask you politely may I trout slap him?. .
  
  Take Pink Peecee to the cemetary hun and reminisce to your hearts content with Stimpy. 
  
  Have you thought about maybe doing a cross-stitch in dedication to her?  A design of your own or maybe one of our SC artists could do a template from a photo for you?  CJ is pretty good with a pen and pencil.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 19, 2009....

  Is B under the impression that you're on some sort of timetable for grieving?!  *sigh*  A companion, no matter how little conversation actually happens, is a big part of a person's life.  Maybe you can ask B to curl up and lay beneath the piano so that you can pretend she's still with you ;)

• pusscat said on Aug 19, 2009....

  uni - if he lays under the piano can I cock my leg and pee on him? ;-)

• sweetsoul said on Aug 19, 2009....

  omg UI that's funny!
   
  Mimi, he doesn't understand because he's at work all day. When he's home, you're home...or the football game is on. The loss isn't the same for him. Even if it was, different people grieve differently.
   
  I don't see why you couldn't tell him what you posted...it's not pathetic. It's just fact. You need human interaction and don't get much when you're at home because he's at work all day...and quiet when he's home. 
   
  Tell him if he can't be supportive, to get off your case about it. You'll grieve as you see fit.

• sweetsoul said on Aug 19, 2009....

  B's into watersports!!! woo hoo!

• wombat said on Aug 19, 2009....

  I so understand.  I have never gotten over losing my Zeus. I hope one day to see him again.  But for now, all we can do is remember and smile at the good memories.

  {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}

  wombie

   

• wishyouwerehere said on Aug 19, 2009....

  I am so sorry to hear about your kitty cat, Ms. Meems.  Mine is like a furry child - with the recent move, she has been such good company for me.  You are smart to take time to grieve.  There's no getting over it, just through it - and in time, it will get easier because the happy memories overwhelm the sadness ... but while it is still fresh, take gentle care of yourself and don't allow anyone else to rush you.

• Hegemone said on Aug 19, 2009....

  Well MiMi, it is hard to figure out how to explain that all to someone isn't it?  ((((HUG)))  I hope that visit to the pet cemetary does you well.  I don't think you 'get over' it either, you just get on top of it, you figure out how to fold it up and take it with you in such a way that it isn't spilling over everywhere and making a mess.

• woman said on Aug 19, 2009....

  Of course you are still sad. Years from now when you think of her you will still be sad but hopefully you will be able to focus on her life, not her death. And poop on the hubby. He probably didn't mean to be cruel but it must have felt that way. You feel sad and hold on a little longer. You'll know when it's time to let go.

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 19, 2009....

  At times like those, Mimi, I'm not much of a lady.  I would have given B the one finger salute.  :-)
  
  My husband sees the world in black and white too.  Something is here and then it's not.  Woopty Do.  He's even that way with people.  I can't fathom it.
  
  Loving people get attached to those furry little things that love us.  To grieve them is 100% natural and needed as far as I'm concerned.  There are no starting blocks nor finish lines.
  
  ((((Hugs))))
  
  CW
  

• quietone said on Aug 19, 2009....

  Oh, meems, take your time and grieve - it is a necessary step in order to get to the next one.  I do understand how empty a house can be when part of your family is no longer under foot.  It will get easier as time heals all wounds.  {{{{hugs}}}}

• MissMimi said on Aug 19, 2009....

  peecee -- It's interesting that you should ask that -- I'm already planning a quilted wall hanging as a memorial.  I never thought I would feel the need to do that or to go to the cemetery, but I'm finding that these little rituals are very comforting to me.  Tonight I wrote the vet a thank you note for her compassion that made this whole process a little easier.  I got a sympathy card from her in the mail today -- it was very touching. 

  uni -- B's heart is ruled by logic not emotion.  He sets great store by timetables and rules, so to him, it makes sense that grief should last X amount of time and then get on with things.  He doesn't get it, and I knew he wouldn't.

  peecee -- LOL  Put papers down first, okay?

  ss --  I think you're right.  He works all day, and really never formed an attachment to her.  He's not particularly an animal lover -- he always called her your cat, never by her name.

  And OMG, watersports!  He'd be scandalized!  Now that made me laugh.  :D

  wombie -- My daughter and I have spent some time talking about her -- and it made us smile.  The vet said she had a "queenly" attitude -- a very polite way of saying she was a bitch.  LOL  And she was.

  wishy -- thank you so much for your kind words.  I know it just takes time.  those little critters really burrow their way into your heart.

  Hege -- Over the weekend, it was making quite a mess.  I think I had tears in my eyes practically the whole day Saturday, even in the grocery store.  It's still a very sad thing, but the worst of the shock is fading.  I like the way you put that -- folding it up and carrying it with you.  So true.

  woman -- no, he didn't mean to be insensitive -- It just wouldn't occur to him that such a question might not be taken well.  It's just B.  I've tried to explain how I feel but he doesn't get it.

  CDub -- Yes B is pretty much like that.  And I can't imagine you ever being anything less than a lady.  ;)  At times, I have given him the old one finger salute -- behind his back.  ;)

  quilty -- it does feel so empty, especially in the rooms where she spent most of her time.  The dinner hour is the hardest because she would always saunter over and sit right next to me until I gave her her yummies.  :)

   

• pusscat said on Aug 20, 2009....

  Oh wow a quilted wall memorial - how marvellous!  You know what, I bet there a quite a few people out there who'd love something like that for their lost pet?. . .

• T's_Pet said on Aug 20, 2009....

  Hi friend - sorry you are going through this.  I can totally relate, although i'm a doggie lover.  Some pets are better at being there than lots of humans are.  T's_Pet

• gingersoul said on Aug 20, 2009....

  Mimibella..... my mom's cat (my ex cat) Bruce is close to 20 years old now.....she doesn't even want to think about the day he will pass away..

  They live together by so long now, only the two of them...in that big home...

  I know how you feel {{hugs}}

• Trinov said on Aug 20, 2009....

  I seldom come to Soulcast, just dropped in. Our cats have been the best of friends and we have grieved for them as we grieve for any other friend or family member. And grieving has its stages, the body grieves for the lack of touch, the emotions for the emptiness and the mind for all the times together-at least a year of grieving needs to go by before the wounds have healed, leaving the memories as treasures.
  
  But cats have taught us a lot: that souls come back and back again, especially to be with the ones they have loved--for eample, a cat of an entirely different genetic line can come back to you with a special marking, a red streak in a field of grey fur. Or a certain very particular type of behavior, or like or dislike, can show up in a different body twenty years later, but you know, you can see, that it is an old friend who values you enough to come back to you.
  
  There is a saying that I value from my tradition, for we are orthodox Jews, and the saying is that "Cats have refined souls but do not know their master, wheras dogs are unrefined souls and do know their master." --Yes cats are very independent and when they are your friends it is not just because they have a built in instinct to be in a band of dogs. Cats can go it alone, if they stay with us-- it is out of love.

• gingersoul said on Aug 20, 2009....

  Trinov....long time i don't read you....its very nice to meet you again.....:-)
   
  Hope life is treating you guys good.

Comment on "I'm Here"

Currently tagged	grieving life cat cats are friends (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment