I call this day a baptism of fire.
My boss was sent to a training oversees. He's gonna be out for 5 weeks. And I was designated the officer in charge. Yes. Lioness, simple as she is, who wants to stay out of the limelight, and if possible, figuratively be out of sight, has been hurdled into the center stage.
I was not born a leader. I know that within me. I don't even have the qualities. I have a poor character, and not even a good conversationalist. I am an introvert, and a shy shy girl.
And here I am, taking a responsibility that requires me to be someone that I am not. It simply scares me to wear another hat (I've been wearing a lot already, should I say mask?). Darn, I am 35 and still the same person that I was 15 years ago. All the while I thought I've changed. But no, I am still that same old me.
I know it would only take 5 weeks for me to prove my worth. This chance may be once in a lifetime, and I really need to show to myself, more than my bosses, that I am prepared to take more responsibilities, and am worthy of the career development I just gained. That I too, have the qualities it would take to become a leader or a manager.
Darn. I could imagine my older officemates (most are older than me, but with lower ranks) grin and laugh behind my back for mistakes I am about to make. Arrggh, I hate being paranoid!
Sorry for the litany... It's just a tough start. I hope my self-worth and confidence (if there's any) would still be intact after 5 weeks.
Wish me luck.
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Lioness posted on Aug 18, 2009
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Comments
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alabamagirl said on Aug 18, 2009....
Good luck! Have confidence in yourself, obviously others do or they wouldn't have left you in charge! Even if you are shy or not a good conversationalist you can still have a "take charge" attitude and others will just think you know what your doing.
Don't let what you think your co-workers are saying bring you down. Be that shining star that someone must think you are!
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Hegemone said on Aug 18, 2009....
Wow, you sound like an older version of me. Scary. I'm the same way in so far as being quiet and shy. I do have managerial/leadership talents naturally, but I only seem to really use them when I'm around a group of people I know (friends, family, etc.). I'm quiet as a mouse at work and I'd rather stay completely off the radar. I hope this 5 weeks goes well! Just keep your chin up, do what you've got to do and don't worry about it .... I find telling myself the following helps, 'You are the only one making a big deal out of it and if you keep doing so THEY will start doing it soon and it'll be worse!' Things will be fine, don't be too hard on yourself and make sure to cut yourself some slack! -
uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2009....
You'll do fine. It's not your chosen element (being in charge) but you want to do well and will work to make that happen. I'll wish you luck, but you won't need it. -
gingersoul said on Aug 18, 2009....
You will do great, Lioness...I found out that often the things we fear the most are the ones able to give us the biggest satisfactions once we accomplish them...Its a good challenge for you and i wish you all the best... i am not worried...you are an intelligent and professional girl......show them what you are made of! ...Psst: where are you going? -
UnicornForm said on Aug 18, 2009....
you are the shit and dont forget it! -
moonriver said on Aug 18, 2009....
lioness, think of it this way: the bosses have confidence in you.that's why they chose you as OIC.here's a tip: be friendly with the other managers (supervisors?).consult often with them, and make them feel you respect their experience.who knows? next time you might get to attend that same training program. (australia, right?)
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