I have decided that right now I am going to remain single. I have been in a relationship since I started college, sure it was different guys, but I never had a long period of being single other than a couple of months, so I think the best thing for me is to be single. I want to work on a few things in my life like getting my finances to a better position and having my new car will help with that. I am seeing a therapist for the feelings associated with the rape and he is really helping me and I feel a lot better about myself and what I deserve in life.
Sure I have a few men in my life who would like a chance to date me, but I think I would get to know them on a friendship level first and after telling a few of them that they understood. I have one that isn't being understanding and keeps trying to make me feel guilty which is pushing me farther away from him. He actually told me I am being weak because I am doing this. That I am letting the past rule my life which I don't think that is what I am doing. Is it wrong for me to want to take care of myself and make sure that I am healthy before I enter into a relationship.
I think right now being single for a while is a good idea. I can save some money, search myself to see what I really want out of life now that I have been through so much. Learn who the new me is red hair and all. (yep I dyed my hair red). Being single is the best thing for me right now and I see a lot happening for me already because I am focusing on myself. I mean what good am I to a man if I am not in a good place financially or mentally? Not saying that I am psychotic, but I do have some issues I need to get resolved before I get into another relatonship whether it be a fling or serious.
So for now...xagirl is going to be a single girl woohoo.
