• wombat said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Have experienced this lately, which has caused me a host of problems.  I wasn't listening as well as I could have--and didn't respond as "off the cuff" as I could have.
   
  I was hearing my own voices in my head.  I should have just said, "Who peed in your cornflakes?"  Then gone on about my business with a smile.
   
  I wasn't in tune with the body language!

• Me-Myself&I said on Aug 17, 2009....

  hi! i love to watch people, when they talk, we all have gestures that say things themselves. a rub on the forehead, it's a sign of worry/stress. if someone is tapping their foot or wiggling around..... they aren't comforty at all. when a person is lieing, they have this eye movement.....anyway, i watch folks as they talk, it does tell alot. since i "use-to" trust blindly, everyone, seeing only good in each and everyone.... i learned to watch to see if they are ....real or not.

  here on soulcast, it is a whole different game. you got to read between the lines! ;~) sometimes all i do here is silently read and listen.

  BUT don't get me atalking.... i won't ever s.t.f.u. *smile*

  hope all is well with you. take care ~see ya

• quietone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  I have to say that I have been a good listener for the most part, I have listened not only with my ears, but heart and eyes.  It pretty much came naturaly to me I guess, as I really never have much to say!  And Memy... you stole my STFU!!! hahaha... and it is true Uni... get memy goin' and she is on a roll! haha

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 17, 2009....

  wombie - body language is a powerful communication.

  MM&I - it is very different online.  There are no expressions to read.  It's much tricker.

  quietone - I've always thought you were a good listener.

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Honestly I think this is one of my curses, I'm too good of a listener, so much so that I get repeat situations with people that aren't conscientious of anybody else.  It's like 'Oh, the limelight is on me the whole time and never her, awesome!' (i.e. my family in law and my dad).  I do enjoy having a good conversation with people who work both ways, people whom I can listen to, genuinely offer solutions, comfort or whatever and then know at the same time that when I need to do that, I can go to them.  It takes hard work, and not only is it hard to do, it's hard to maintain and it's really hard to just shut if off if you've made it a habit.  And that's part of why I'm here .... I'm a listener at home .... and a blabber here, lol.  Although I do try to 'listen' as best I can here too.

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Admittedly it's no fun listening when you never get a chance to do some communicating.  I don't like getting tangled up with "takers" who monopolize the conversation and then run out when they're all done leaving you drained.

• woman said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Interesting post Uni. Thanks.

• hotaka said on Aug 18, 2009....

  I used to be told often that I was a good listener. This was by people who would just babble on and on to me while I was supposed to be doing something else, like work. Actually, I didn't really care about their stories but I felt somehow they needed to tell someone who hadn't heard it before and out of sympathy I guess I listened. I heard a lot of tales that were largely uninteresting but different from my life. Later I learned how to be a good listener for my female friends. I did my best to help them with their troubles. But listening by watching body langauge... I can't. I listen with my imagination. People talk and I imagine and watch the images in my mind, returning now and then to look at their faces.
  
  Recently though, I listen less. There's just too much going on in my mind these years. I am not such a good listener anymore. I miss that. It was nice being needed by friends who had to tell me their woes and felt better afterwards.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2009....

  woman - you're welcome :)
   
  hotaka - I'm not surprised you listen by imagining as you're artistic.  I am a little surprised you're not a little more aware of body language and face, but maybe that's a gender talent?

• Lucytorial said on Aug 18, 2009....

  Frankly I'm a shit listener right now..... I used to be a fabulous listener.  I too am self absorbed.

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2009....

  Lu - I'm in the same boat.  I hate when I'm a shitty listener.

• Lucytorial said on Aug 18, 2009....

  Its the ultimate in selfish behaviour for me but, then self preservation far outweighs being a good listener. Right?

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2009....

  Lu - I think sometimes you have to be your own best friend and protect the resources you have available.  Sometimes that means not being able to listen.

• hotaka said on Aug 18, 2009....

  I heard that Pieces people are much better at that kind of thing than Aquarians because we are too busy being lost in our thoughts. Whether or not the astrology thing is true I can't say I believe for certain, but I know I fade in and out while listening as I begin imagining what I am hearing about.
  As for a gender thing, maybe that can explain how when a lovely young woman is nearby I end up not hearing anything as I am lost in thoughts base don what I am looking at and not what I am hearing. 

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2009....

  hotaka - LOL I meant, maybe women as a whole gender are better at reading faces.  I'm not sure about the astrology thing.  I'm a Taurus and somehow I think they might not typically be good listeners.

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