• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. the first option, I already have tried the second one.
  2. I have burned bridges, but find that leaving a few ropes is a better solution
  3. I'd stick it out.  There's something more satisfying about doing the right thing even if it takes longer.

• cuppajava said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Mine are the same as Uni's only difference is the first question - I have only known the second one to be true for me,and therefore its the only choice I have been made to live with.

• raindove said on Aug 17, 2009....

  very interesting hegemone..
  1. the 1st option any day, can close my eyes and say that.
  2. well i never did this consciously but since its either everything or none for me, i burn them down one way or the other even if it hurts, leaving ropes never does it for me.
  3. i would make the choice that seems right for me at that time even if its not so for others, i will stick to my truth and will do whatever is right for me.
  

• simplyconfused said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1) I'm going with the second option.  My reasons is if I got the first one, I would be a spoiled, snobby brat.  I wouldn't be able to work for things.  Even though my life would be seemingly miserable, it would make me stronger, and more able to do things for myself.
  
  
  2) I never want to 'burn bridges' but sadly it has happened, though I didn't intentionally set it ablaze myself.  If it's going to get burnt, leaving a few ropes and boards is a secure feeling.  You can build up from that.  If it's completely gone, well, your going to need cranes and shit, and it's not so determined if you'll be able to build things up again.
  
  
  3) I would stick it out.  I would rather work for things, and do it the right way then to cut corners.  If I know happiness is going to be there, then why should I cut corners?  Why not work up to it, and probably go through some hardships so that the happiness is that much sweeter.

• quietone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. The second choice I have already lived, and I can say, I think I am stronger because of it, and also more sensitive toward others.
   
  2. the second, I try not to burn bridges.... it isn't necessary.
   
  3.  I would stick it out because there is always lessons to be learned along the way.

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. Would you prefer to have parents who loved you and showed it, spoiled you and gave you everything so you never knew the meaning of 'work' ... or parents who seemed to forget you were their child, never gave you anything and made your life seemingly miserable?  I think I'm going to stick with what I've got, which is the second choice.  At least I have a greater appreciation of the things I do have, and it's not such a slap in the face each time I have to face an 'adult' responsibility.  Also, I get a more deserving feeling when I achieve something because I know I busted my ass, somebody didn't hand it to me.
     
  2. There's a saying relating to breaking off relationships (of various sorts, romantic, family, friend, work, etc.) expressed as 'burning bridges'.  If you're going to do it, do you prefer to burn your bridges completely, leave a few ropes and boards hanging 'just in case', or never ever burn a single bridge?  I believe it depends on the bridge, but I can't say that I would never ever burn a bridge.  That is a given, it's a must, you HAVE to burn some bridges.  I will admit that some are better left partially intact while others must be completely burned, but again, that depends on the 'bridge'. 
     
  3. If you knew happiness was certain, would you make some poor choices (in the long run) to get there faster, or would you stick it out for twice that amount of time just to avoid the poor choices?  So far it looks like I'm sticking it out, but I really have to fight myself not to make the poor decisions and just get the hell out now.
     

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Interesting responses from you guys, I really like the contrast in 'burning bridges'.  Also, it seems we'd rather take the longer, harder route to get where we want to be just so we can appreciate it more and really deserve it.  I admit, these questions do relate to some personal things for me and it's giving me lots to think about.  It's also giving me peace of mind on some decisions I've made.  Thank you!

• simplyconfused said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Your welcome. =]

• UnicornForm said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. the 3rd option 2. leave a rope er so. 3. the last one

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  UF - Thank you for stopping in!

• UnicornForm said on Aug 17, 2009....

  NP Beautiful!

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 17, 2009....

  My parents have their faults, but I'll keep them.  They are straightforward and no beating around the bush people.  They don't pretend to be anything other than what they are.
  
  I don't like burning bridges.  I prefer to just drift out of the picture.  Sometimes, I do just let things go.
  
  It would depend on the choices.  Would they really be poor choices if you ended up happy?  I would be tempted, but I tend to think things to death and sit on the fence.
  
  CW
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Voltaire said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. I would prefer a middle thing, gives a bit of both worlds which is what I got.
  
  2. With ex gals etc I burn it to the ground; nothing at all left. So I'd prefer that for most people.
  
  3. That depends on what the poor choices are and how they'd effect the world around me.
   I am a believe of situation ethics which means I think every situation should be thought about independently because every situation is unique.
  

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  CW - On the last question, what you said in so far as 'are they really poor choices if you wind up happy' is what I was pondering.  I just wonder about this because I'm so desperate for us to move out, even the poor choices of us winding up in debt or shrinking out of our family's lives sound more and more appealing.
  
  Voltaire - Good point in that I guess it really does depend on what the poor choices are.  Good point that everything is unique and can't really be lumped into one category.
  

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Hege,
  You know how I feel about the family things you deal with.  So, in your situation I would say that distance from both sides of the family will be good for you.  It might be a struggle at first, but that won't last forever.
  
  They need to work on themselves.  No matter how long you stay, they won't change unless they want to and from what you've written I would say that they don't....especially your dad.
  
  Barring something illegal, a risky choice is not always a bad choice.
  
  Now, if I could just take some of my own advice.  lol
  
  CW
  

• WithoutShade said on Aug 17, 2009....

  I do not believe any of these choices are acceptable. There should always be a balance. Whether a easy or hard childhood, severed or held ties, or good or bad choices, I would want to experience a little bit of each. Having things so black and white cuts you off from having more empathy for other who did not live like thee.

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  CW - Yes, that's the way I'm thinking.  For the way these people are, they're awfully content with being that way and I'm realizing that just because they're content does NOT mean I have to be.  So yes, I'm going to continue to do something about it and get away at all costs if needed.  Haven't gotten that desperate yet, but it may be coming, we'll see.
  
  WS - Good points entirely, I just wanted to play with the 'what if' ideas.  But yes, I think it's entirely best to have a little bit of both, although sometimes we don't all get that choice.
  

• starchini said on Aug 17, 2009....

  huh...im not a big fan of your parent choices...how come in order to be loved and shown it your not allowed to know the true meaning of work?  ...My parents are the first choice (although im well aware of hard work and fully appreciative of what I have)....and I like it that way... : )  I pick number one for parents.

  Im also a big fan of "sticking to your guns"...I rarely burn bridges, but when I do, they are vaporized.  Im almost always your best friend or your worst enemy...

  your last question is throwing me for a loop...I thought the entire point and goal of life was to be happy...as fast as possible....no? As far as poor choices...to get there faster,..im not sure I follow...Lets pretend we are mario and luigi and we are in a race to get to the big barrel of happiness, all roads lead there, eventually...Do you jump in the flaming pit of lava to be instantly transported to happy land with some melted flesh?  Or do you bullshit forever to get to the same happyland with prolly the same amount of "melted flesh" just acquired more slowly?    i choose the lava... 

• wombat said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1.  Would love to have had parents who loved me and showed it.

  2. I never completely burn my bridges.  I save things, like old rubber bands, just in case.

  3.  Not sure about this one. I've made some poor choices before.  I wouldn't change some things, (to be where I was in order to have my child)  but if I could see the future for real, I would sure as Hell jump ahead to be where I am heading.  I'm in a hurry to be finally be happy and done.  Terrible, ain't it? 

• MsBradford07 said on Aug 17, 2009....

  I had a mother that in her addiction often times, ignore me and didn't care about, but her mother, my grandmother loved spoiled, but show how to work for what I got.
   
  With relationship, it depends on the person and sometimes you got burned the bridge and time apart you can mend it with some people.
   
  I have worked hard for everything and I appreciate it.I would go through the hard times because I know happiness is coming to me.

• whataworld said on Aug 17, 2009....

  One would think the answer to the first would be simple, and of course, depending on what you are made of, is.  I would have preferred parents who loved me and showed it...which obviously, they didn't .  I don't believe that if you "burn a bridge" ...that's it.  Things which are destroyed are rebuilt continuously...even in human nature...the internet has proven that.  As for the third question, there is another saying..."It's the journey, not the destination"...I suppose I would hang around for awhile.

• rmuxagirl said on Aug 17, 2009....

  For the first one I would perfer the parents that loved me and showed me that love, but made me work for the things that I received the way my mom would have.  But since I have a choice between the two I would say the first because I dont want to be ignored by my family.

  2) I would burn bridges, but leave a few ropes hanging.  I think that is a better solution like Unique said.

  3)

• queenparanoia said on Aug 17, 2009....

  1. first option.

  2.leave a few ropes and boards hanging 'just in case'.. you'll never know...

  3. i'm already sticking out for the choices i'm making in life... so i choose the latter answer... :-)

• Hegemone said on Aug 17, 2009....

  Interesting mixture of answers on the parent scheme.  See, when I was first thinking of this I was thinking about my own parents (my dad mostly) who never really seems to show affection of any sort and makes my life hell, but perhaps that gives me a deeper appreciation for what I have and where I'm going.  Alternately, I was also thinking of my friend (OFHG) who's parents do everything for her, spend time with her, communicate with her, and don't let her want for anything.  I feel that she's going to have a hard road in life, somewhat because she seems to feel that she's going to just be able to go to school, have her parents pay for everything, and then go straight to a fantastic job when she graduates with her masters degree, and then start her family.  Her mom is actually planning on handing her a bunch of job applications and all the while OFHG has simply stated 'Yeah, I'm not going to have to work until I graduate and I don't want to either.'  Her bubble might soon be burst.
  
  Seems that we've got a good mix as to burning bridges, but more often than not it's perhaps better to leave something remaining or at least have a handy stack of supplies ready to rebuild it.
  
  In as far as the making a few poor choices or sticking it out, there seems to be a good mix there too.  By poor choices I meant things like 'putting yourself in debt', 'alienating people' or whatever else you feel you have to do just to get there in that moment.  Sort of a 'what mess (or lack of) do you feel you could look back at when the dust has settled'.  I think I'm taking the long road, but some of those poor choices are really starting to look tantalizing.
  
  Thank you for all of your answers!  This is really great to see so many different outlooks.
  

• one_wired_kitty said on Aug 19, 2009....

  1. I had a combination of both. I pretty much got what I wanted but I had to work for it.

  2. Burn it completely. If you're going to burn a bridge, do it completely.

  3. Why not make some poor choices and have some fun along the way to happiness?

• Hegemone said on Aug 19, 2009....

  OWK - Sounds like you've got a pretty balanced outlook on things.  :-)

• MommyUninhibited said on Aug 19, 2009....

  
  
  1. Would you prefer to have parents who loved you and showed it, spoiled you and gave you everything so you never knew the meaning of 'work' ... or parents who seemed to forget you were their child, never gave you anything and made your life seemingly miserable?  I had parents that were very loving and gave me what was in their power to give me (this includes what they though of as things that were  i.e. clothing, accessories, stationary and such- not to mention hugs and kisses. We were allowed things but not things that were outlandish or gaudy just for the sake of it.). My sister and I were very sheltered.  We were also always talked to, my mom believes in telling it like it is.  She is a woman that lives by her principles and morals. So if something was denied to us, we knew why. We also knew that we could not receive anything for free. As a result we are (my sister and I) very loving people.  She will give you the last dollar in her  pocket.  I...am hoping that I can make the changes. choices...emotional responses that are necessary to live a life of reward.  I find myself struggling less than I used to, emotionally :). But it's coming more of ease now. *Sorry, ramble LOL* So, I guess that I'd pick the first again.  Because I realize, now that I'm older, that it's not what I went through, anymore, it's about the choices that I make today. I think that we all have a life, some might seem, easier or harder, but we learn our lessons as we go :)
     
  2. There's a saying relating to breaking off relationships (of various sorts, romantic, family, friend, work, etc.) expressed as 'burning bridges'.  If you're going to do it, do you prefer to burn your bridges completely, leave a few ropes and boards hanging 'just in case', or never ever burn a single bridge? None of those.  I think that things happen when they're suppost to, right? Don't sweat the small stuff. I don't particularly see it as burning bridges kinda way. I'm friendly when I see people that I've known. Just don't know if it can be what it was...sorta "phase over" kinda deal.
     
  3. If you knew happiness was certain, would you make some poor choices (in the long run) to get there faster, or would you stick it out for twice that amount of time just to avoid the poor choices I think that we are here to learn. So why not enjoy the ride. It's only temporary, anyway.  Screw eternity. I can't even imagine infinity!
     

• doortoinsanity said on Aug 20, 2009....

  1. i would you prefer to have parents who loved me and showed it.
  2. I think of the bridges as balls myself.  I either throw them back, or behind me.  they are usually always still there even if it went behind me in flames.   so there would be ropes and boards.
     
  3. I would make some poor choices personally.  I find when I throw them in there, I end up learning a lot, which I like. 
     

• Hegemone said on Aug 20, 2009....

  MU - Wow, it sounds like you got quite lucky in the way you were brought up, I'm happy that you were and also it seems you have a wonderful outlook on things now.  Good point in the 'phase over' scenario, really it does seem that it's always that way.  Ha, and yes, eternity is a little unimaginable.
  
  Door - Good view on seeing the bridges as balls, I think that's true too.  That's also a good point that even when you make the poor choices you learn a lot from them, so in essence maybe they aren't so poor in the long run.
  

Comment on "3 Questions For You"

Currently tagged	questions choices Interact life coolio (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment