So I started this new class last night. Let's just call it an exersize class for right now. I'm pretty sure it could be classified as illegal torturing. :) I had observed it last week, and it seemed mild enough, maybe even too mild. I should have been suspicious about that, but I'm a trusting soul. So I showed up this week with my paperwork filled out and my tuition in hand. The teacher was nice and suggested we start slow given my knee injury. I smiled and agreed.
I have been feeling pretty good about my physical conditioning lately. I've been doing a lot of walking and some other exersizes. I'm pretty consistant with them so I thought that this class would be within my limits. I wore some comfy sweats and after helping to set up the class with my new classmates we lined up to get started.
We did some basic warm ups, which included jumping up and down, jumping jacks, stretches, sit ups and push ups. By the time we were going to the next part of class I was hot, my heart was trying to claw it's way out of my chest and I was gasping for air. When did warm ups get so hard? As I was standing there with my classmates I started to feel light headed. WTF?!! Finally I knew that if I didn't sit down I'd fall down, so I raised my hand and asked permission to sit. They all were nice about it. Saying "it takes time to get used to this much exersize" and other sympathetic comments.
I rested and then got up as soon as my heart rate returned to something approaching normal. I had stopped gasping for air, but I was still very warm and sweaty. We did a few exersizes, working with partners. Some kind of requiring coordination, and me being who I am I'm kicking the left leg while they're kicking the right one. Whatever. At this point my cool factor is zero, so why sweat it? I'm feeling better about actually just being able to do the exersizes, if not coordinated at least with reasonable form.
Then they started the forward rolls and backward rolls. Have I ever mentioned that I hate rollercoasters? Well, in my book, rolls are rollercoasters without the safety harnesses. I gave it a go and the forward rolls looked decent. The backward rolls were a disaster. I'm giggling, I mean I must look hilarious! Then the teacher starts to describe cartwheels. Again the light headedness. I'm even suspicious about being motion sick really. So, back to the sitting area. I avoid doing the cartwheels. Which is good because they even tried one handed ones. I don't think that's something I'm able to do right now.
Back into class after I get blood into my head again. More exersizes. With fewer upside down moves I manage to finish the class. The end of class is when we sit and meditate. Now this I can do! I mean, I can sit with my eyes closed all day long!! As we are getting ready to leave the teacher asks me "so we'll see you wednesday?" I think he's fucking with me, but I smile and nod yes. Of course I'll be back wednesday. I haven't had nearly enough abuse yet. In fact, if I'm not walking like an arthritic 80 year old tomorrow I haven't gotten my money's worth!
Stagger home, toss my body (unwashed) into bed and don't move a muscle for about 8 hours. Get up gingerly, not too bad. Get a hot hot shower and feel ever so slightly hopeful that I have dodged the sore as all hell bullet. Get to work and sit for about an hour.
As I stand to go put big bosses mail into his office I feel the burn. I go to take a step and my left hip freezes up a little. This of course causes my right knee to scream out to me "you big dummy!". My lower back cramps up. I get a charlie horse in my left bicept from holding the papers in my left hand. I think I may have even had a twitch in my right eyelid. I stagger along, shuffling my feet in small stroke victim style for stability.
My coworker sees this and asks "Are you moonwalking?" I snarl but don't answer. It takes too much energy. I slowly and carefully shake my head no, 'cause even my neck hurts. Oh yes! I'm going back wednesday! How could I miss the opportunity to experience the feeling of being waterboarded?!
Excuse me now. I'll be back in an hour. I have to shuffle all the way down the hall and fill my water bottle.
