first,....i thought we were goin to jail,....
jake and i like to sit in the vacant culdesac at the undeveloped side of his neighborhood,.....i dont know why, maybe because it makes us feel like kids,.....or maybe its just because i like that oak tree,.....
the thursday before my road trip we were sittin there smokein when i told him that was a cop who pulled in behind my car,....
as he started into the standard 'i'm fixin to search you' verbage, i realized i knew the cop,....so i just didnt stop talkin long enough for him to ask us anything important,.......i bet jake never makes fun of me for makein friends with random law enforcement ever ever again,....because we should have been toast

the road trip started out well,......until blair and i decided to stay at her mothers due to the worst sun burn i've ever had in my life,......and i'm fuckin tan,....i seriously thought i would throw up,....

blair's mom was great,...as was her aggie step father (though he tries alittle too hard at first),....i'm glad that we got to spend time with her mom,...though i was really hopein to just,...take off,.....maybe next time

the ride home was aweful though,....my ipod died, and normally i control the music no matter where i'm goin,.....instead i was subjected to show tunes, and bad 80s music,.....so i text the whole way home

my monty and i are still weird,...though we do text every few days,......we cant get back to the place we were,....i wish i could bring him back there with me,...but i just cant,.....that seems to be a trend with me,.....the ones i dont want to stay stay,.....and the ones i want to make a go of it with,....well,....i just am not strong enough to carry as much as i need to

aside from that,.....i've been spending alot of time alone lately,.....not that i dont already, but i've really just,......closed off this week or so,......
jake called the other day wantin to hang out,.....i game him some lame excues about needin to do stuff, and then two hours later passed him and dutch on the dirt road,......i cursed myself showing him all the good dirt roads,.....i cant even be alone in my aloneness