• LadyBelladonna said on Aug 08, 2009....

  venting is good, I know what you mean...I too am the rational one with all their emotions deep inside.  One thing I've learned from everything with my husband: communication is key.  You're right, it's not fair to have such high expectations of someone, but don't feel that you've set yourself up for failure, talk to him about it and come up with some fair expectations b/ c it's also not good for someone to fall short all the time.  and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be selfish sometimes!

• queenparanoia said on Aug 08, 2009....

  hi jackie... you know you should really stop expecting so much from him. but i understand why you do that you work hard yourself and you want him to keep up with you. hay pero pag usapan nyu yan ha... bagay pa naman kayu papable mo... :-)

• Hegemone said on Aug 08, 2009....

  Well, as already said, communication is key and that's the way you're going to be able to get what you want and still remain rational and 'cool'.  You can balance it all, you just gotta give it a whirl, even if it feels strange at first.  You've got to recognize your own self worth.  You are important enough to get to be selfish sometimes.  You are important enough to get to say 'Hey, that bothers me, could you do it differently?'  You are important, period.  Don't forget that.  You don't always have to be cool, calm, collected and in control ... you're human you know? But I know what you mean, I juggle with this too, even now that I'm married.  Just hang in there and keep trying.  ((((HUG))))
  

• RollingC said on Aug 08, 2009....

  If it's any consolation then please know that you're not the only one that does that.
  :^)
  Rc

• gingersoul said on Aug 09, 2009....

  Jackie....I learned that putting too many expectations in a relationship is eroding it since the beginning.
  You are a perfectionist. You expect yourself to perform at high standards and consequentially you expect the same in the people you love.
  
  I did the same thing in my marriage.
  
  Lesson learned.
  
  Suggestion: love the man you are with, the way he is.
  The way you liked him the first  time you put eyes on him. That is the man you fell in love with, no his potentiality of becoming.
  
  What he might become in the future is only up to him, not you.
  Tomorrow you will only be able to still like him. Or not.
  But there is now way to know it now.
  
  So......love him NOW! 

• travelr712 said on Aug 09, 2009....

  sometimes, when things get really confusing, and i don't know why or even where to start, i come here and just start writing. sometimes it rambles, sometimes it doesn't, but in the end, just looking at the situation that i've written out helps me to get a clarity on the issues that are most important to me right then that i can't get a handle on, and then i've got a way to start thinking about what i want to do about these issues.
   
  looks like that's what you've done here too :-)

• starchini said on Aug 14, 2009....

  I seem to have read this in a different light...

  I think its good to have high expectations and standards.  No one should "settle".  People shouldnt fuck up or do the wrong thing.   Sometimes it happens, I mean like once in a blue moon it happens.  But as a whole the person you lay next to in bed should not be disapointing you.

  Its also good to be so open with your emotions and to break walls.  People who are gaurded rarely get the opportunity to enjoy all aspects of life.  Yes that leaves you open to all the bad possibilities as well but the good comes with the bad and is worth the risk. 

  That was my thoughts on this post...

  As far as advice, being the rational one doesnt mean you cant ever get mad.  Being mad is ok, its good to feel and no one is ever mad for no reason.  If you think the reason your mad is silly, stop, and think for a moment about exactly why your mad and im  sure its not dumb at all.

  For example...lets say he was at work and decided to go to the bar with a friend afterward, he didnt call to let you know until he was into his 4th beer.  You might be thinking "its stupid to b angry, he did call me and he is allowed to be with friends..."...However thats not why your angry, your angry bc he failed to consider your plans, he blaintently disregarded your opinion.  Maybe you made a special dinner?  Maybe you wanted to go to a movie?  Maybe not, the  point is that if you had he would have been a no show...its not stupid to want someone to think of you....thats just an example...

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