After awhile I learned to accept you. But hey, I miss you sometimes. Sometimes I hate you. I don't care anymore of flaws about me in case meeting you again. I decided i just go with the flow and move on with it as it is.

I am happy for your current girl which still makes me somehow think we are darn lookalikes but just afraid to ask. Anyways, in your countrymen's eyes, we are all lookalikes.

In a few weeks you'll be in other part of the continent. But you are trotting around the world without her, nor even mentioning your future with her.

You are the master in answering all questions but so much quiet to give clear answer about the girl. Maybe it could be also that you are not ready.

Or you just simply don't make such a big deal out of it. 

Its our usual meetup and we bring along a new friend. I could say I'm a bit sober about you now. You are punctual as always and was there with another friend, R. We invited to come along B an ex-workmate who became a very good friend of us. I saw B waiting in the other corner of the room and picked him up there, spluterred a girlie suprise, went there and gave B some peck on the cheek the french way (cheeks left-right).

Kissing in the cheek has become common practice in my workplace and for some friends.

But sometimes, you hoped for things and it will never happen in some other way. I have planned to do this to you before believing I will overcome that guilt but I just ended up nervously scared. Maybe its because i still have that huge crush on you... maybe I'm still immersed on a bath of dark confusion and not really sure about it.

My self stricken guilt taken me aback to do normal things like giving you a just simple peck on the cheek. I always promised myself i will do it without reservations. I don' t expect anything in return and in good will.  But somehow it didn't happen. We just ended up shaking hands cold as a fish. I accepted your fish since there is nothing to loose anyways.

I gave my cheeks to B without guilt coz we're friends. But i don't know I have the feeling that you saw it. By the way, Did you really saw it?  

As i bring B along on the waiting crowd, you have a milli-second dark shade of confusion in your face (jealous? ;-) and introduced yourself. All in all the lunch turned out to be a great and it was really a nice talk.  Is it that I have consumed more than Caipis I usually had and you were looking at me those cute blue eyes? It was blue, blue like that wonderful blue sommer sky. Continuing our merry stories , we headed to the next bar.

Time is so fast you won't resign. I notice you are very sharp catching up things. You might have known somehow. Or just maybe seeing things and make no deal out of it.

But sometimes, things happen unexpectedly the way you didn't expected it.
We said our usual goodbyes and you thank me for the coffee which you liked so much, exchange as usual our cold fish hands but you leaned forward....heading for a kiss? you are about to give me for the first time a peck on the cheek!

My heart stopped beating.

Suddenly i felt that this moment was encapsulated in a slow motion movie. Its like suddenly the place turned into a dessert and nobodys around. You kissed me on my right cheek. I just found my hand caressing your big shoulder at the same time itching to embrace you. As that moment progressed in a micro slow motion, i realized your face lingered there on my cheek or did you just smelled my hair? Your own manly smell alerted my sensitive nostrils and i liked it. Or maybe now you realized i lingered too. Anyways, i didn't care. We disengage and gave you my right cheek, downfast. And it was over. Have the streets been deserted, i think we could have just downright tear our clothes, explore further our throats and made love until we are blue.

I thought I have been sober but I'm drunk again on you. Later that night the slow movie keep on rolling in my mind I'm kissing and caressing my pillow. I'm still hunted by that particular smell. You must have released some good smelling pheromones and i happen to catch it. Some extra actions i could have done to quench that thirst, I come just by the thought of you.

Did you ever thought about what just happened there? There, in the middle of the street where a magic hapened.

And that i bring to my grave and enjoy that secret memories of a wonderful kiss.