There is this kind of particular people who just make me want murder to be legal... mental retardeds on MSN or AOL or whatever fucking instant messangering system there could be to infect with mediocre idiots. You, as a normal person, put your "Away" status (or any sign that you aren't there if you need to stand up from the computer). Some persons know that sign means "I'm here, but I don't want to talk to you, because I have better TV shows to watch" but they still talk. That's still ok. I get it, you just want to check if you're worth enough talking to me. What pisses me off is when I don't answer for enough time as to breed clams and you don't shut the fuck up. Because you don't care nobody is paying attention to you: you still have to say something nobody cares for. And as if that wasn't enough, you use all the alarms possible to call my attention: nudges, sound emoticons, winks, alarms, and a whole set of motives to vanish you not only from my list, but from real life. Dude: get it already... nobody wants to talk to you, and the only reason they have you in their lists is:
1. Because they are dumber than you and have no idea how to erase people from their list;
2. Or because you're dispossable and they're using you.
Anyway, shut up. It is people like you the reason why I took away all the alarms from my IM. You try to nudge me once again, I'll nudge your nuts. And if you don't have, I'll make you grow them first!
Also, the guano results who attempt to send ridiculously long files through instant messangering programs get on my nerves... they saw Evanescence's latest, lame video and want to send it to you... like 78 MB's, if I'm lucky, crashing my webcam, and making me close Azureus, just because they don't know we, humans, have youtube.com or LimeWire... People has tried to send me the next items:
1. Movies (some asshole though it was a good idea to use AOL to send me a copy of Constantine)
2. Episodes of shows (from Invader Zim, which is totally cool, to Animatrix)
3. Porn (... I won't even go through that... I'm just impressed, because that was the biggest file of all)
4. A record (the 28 songs of Stadium Arcadium... which kicks ass, but I have Azureus for that)
5. A discography (yes... someone... was stupid enough... as to try to send me all David Bowie's albums... WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!?!)...
And they chose the worst moments to do this... while you're having an audio conversation with your girlfriend, or when you're leaving, or the Azureus is just 4 minutes away from downloading a Mars Volta album!
My rules? You ask first... and if it's bigger than a 25 minutes song... i'll chop you into pieces and send you through email. You don't send porn, because I'm too good for that. You talk to me once, always bowing your head, and if I don't answer, you'll be damned I'll shoot you if you only stare at the nudge button... and under no reason at all you will question the music I listen to. Because my mind is so opened in music I can have a 24 hrs. service hanging on my head: gregorian chants, any kind of metal, trip hop, classical, techno, hardcore, folk, celtic, lounge, opera, jazz...

I also despite people who, in order to call your attention and start a conversation, will start writting texts like: "j´w{qigjrwe{oil", because the problem with them is that their brains didn't ever evolve... so, they just randomly push every single key they can, until I decide to block them, close my MSN account and open a new one so I never have to see you again. Not so recently, morons, our ancestors invented the words "hello", or "hi", or "hey", or "how is it going?", or any other salutation you want... why? Because they didn't want to walk into their neighbors, and say "j´w{qigjrwe{oil". For christ sake, if I didn't know you were so retarded, I would swear a cat was walking down the keyboard, but then again, that would be offending cats around the world. I'm pretty sure that if I work on it, one day I'll discover your random, idiotic typing is an anagram for "I'm a shithead"... do you think that's appealing to start a conversation? Why don't you try farting instead?

I'm also sick of those times in which they announce a new program, or even worse, a new OS, and when you finally put your hands on it, all there is new is the brand error windows... because every program is exactly the same, the graphicall interphase hasn't changed more than a couple of bits and sincerely, if a bit changed, users would be such idiots that they would shut off the computer and cry themselves to sleep, or stalk the computer support service: "my mouse isn't as white as before. What should i do?"... the only reason I get the new versions of the programs and OS's is because they, the programmers, diabolically designed these shits so that, if I don't do it, an annoying window will pop- up on the screen every 15 minutes, when I'm programming, when I'm watching a movie, when I'm chatting, when I'm in the final fight of a video game... until one day I give up and I shoot the person behind this window from Hell. Half of them, most people don't even understand what the fuck is the window talking about, because it speaks about the code 808, and it means nothing to standard users. Why don't they make a system in which you decide when your programs are too old, and you are the one who fucks up? I mean, we have the right to fuck up... you fucking computer nazis! In fact... why not making a friendly system... which is friendly for the standard users, that know shit about the computer? Instead of telling you that there is an error 808, the window will say: "your printer just went to Hell". So, everybody will be happy! (ps: error 808 isn't about the printer).

And with these little examples, I've proved that idiocy is a computer virus... if you suspect you've been contaminated, check for any of these traits above. If you do have at least one, I'll personally pass you through the antivirus... permanently.

Go away! Crash your computer or something...