Gosh we need some humor up in here. I posted this on another site, and yes it is because I'm a lesbian, not bisexual, just like 'dem women. So here it is, the top reasons why women make better lovers for other women. Sorry dudes.
#1: Happy Trails: Women (mostly) have less hair on their a$$ and chest.
#2: Size Matters: You can pick any size dildo to please your mate, and you know most women like it BIG, most men on average are around 6 inches.
#3: Dishwasher Safe: I can put my strap-on in the dishwasher to sterilize it before next use.
#4: Clueless: Men usually are clueless about how to give women orgasms, they have no idea where g-spots are and most men don't even know (because of lack of exposure) that women ejaculate when they really have a good, deep, tertiary O's. We in the dyke kingdom like to call these "magic fountains". True dykes have amazing oral skills.
#5: No muss, no fuss: There is no sperm containing ejaculate that could potentially impregnate a woman.
#6: Women can go all night, never go soft.
#7: Women know how to apply the right pressure to create a sedurunt, which is when you get into a kind of multi-orgasmic trance.
#8: Women don't have beards or mustaches for smooth kissing, including south of the border kissing as well.
And the number one reason...did I mention I can lick my eyebrows?
enjoy!
JB
#5
JayneBond posted on Sep 15, 2006
| views: 452
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Sep 15, 2006....
jayne, i'm glad to see you started posting here. :>
ed
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Indiefilm said on Sep 15, 2006....
Let's see...
#1. Damn
#2. Damn
#3. does taking a shower once a month (needed or not) count? if not, I could fit in a dish washer, but it wouldn't be very comfortable...
#4 G-spot, located... only took me a year to find, (j/k) if your not impressed, you should be. ;)
#5 Damn, (unless kids are the objective, then I've got you beat on that one. ;p )
#6 Damn
#7 Damn... where can I learn that...
#8 Damn
And last but not least... double damn.
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InterplanetJanet said on Sep 18, 2006....
Oooh, JB, you shouldn't waste time licking your eyebrows. I had a wonderous weekend...
I can personally attest to the top reasons listed above; JB is on the money.
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JayneBond said on Sep 19, 2006....
hahahah IPJ...ssssh don't tell.
INdie I measure finding a woman's g-spot in minutes, not hours LOL.
You can learn more about creating a sedurunt if you look up sex magic (Toltec), not to be confused with Tantra.
peace,
JB
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JayneBond said on Sep 19, 2006....
tHANKS for the warm welcome Silver, I enjoy reading your responses as well.
peace,
JB
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anonymous said on Sep 25, 2006....
At the end of the day if you want children there is only one sex can provide you with that! That's why there are two sexes. anything else is just 'play' for fun. Not the real thing at all.
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silverwhisper said on Sep 25, 2006....
i love it when anonymous folk think their opinion on something matters. :>
ed
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Indiefilm said on Sep 25, 2006....
I love it when they are so worried about what will happen that they feel the need to post any more anonymously than they already are.
If your honestly that worried about what other people will think about your opinion, maybe you should consider keeping it to yourself. otherwise, grow some brass ones.
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InterplanetJanet said on Sep 25, 2006....
[sarcasm]Shut up...
anon has made a good point here. I for one think my relationship is totally for "play fun." Despite the fact that my wife and I have two great kids, we're not for real. The only way we could have kids, clearly is by being straight. Gosh, ed and Indie, I thought you were smarter than that.[/sarcasm]
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JayneBond said on Sep 25, 2006....
Dang it...IPJ I didn't know we couldn't have kids??? Send those back immediately LOL!
Anon, I'm sorry if your scientific background doesn't cover the subject of reproduction but did you know that you can perform invitro fertilization by hybridization of the two person's involved DNA. This of course only allows female offspring since both mothers can contribute X chromosomes only, however, I am all for the bee kingdom in which only females will run the civilization. You need to brush up on your current events, since they have figured out how to understand the genetic code and how to splice or hybridize DNA they have come up with a lot of options for reproduction outside the normal female to male hook-up.
peace,
JB
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JayneBond said on Sep 25, 2006....
LOL IPJ,
Please pencil me in for some "practice" later!
yeah baby,
JB :p
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InterplanetJanet said on Sep 25, 2006....
LMAO@"send those back immediately."
I guess we should; it's just not "natural."
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Indiefilm said on Sep 25, 2006....
Neither are breast implants... or dentures for that matter... or fillings... or polyester... Hell, most food isn't even natural now days.
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frak.me said on Sep 25, 2006....
hooray for dyke dick!
did i just say that?
yes i did!
hooray!
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Indiefilm said on Sep 25, 2006....
Am I the only one who thinks "dyke dick" sounds like a poorly thought out name from a 1930's pulp fiction novel?
Copper; "Dike Dick! We know your in there! Come out with your hands in the air! We all about your plan to flood the city by destroying the dikes Richard, give it up!"
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Indiefilm said on Sep 25, 2006....
Damn lack of editing ability.... that last sentance should be "we 'know' all about..."
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JayneBond said on Sep 25, 2006....
LMAO @ indie,
or "Dang, that damn dyke dick is everywhere...got to get me one of those new-fangled things."
JB
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frak.me said on Sep 27, 2006....
and it rolls off the tongue well too --
Dyke Dick.
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JayneBond said on Sep 27, 2006....
OUCH Frak..don't get me going!!!
;p
JB
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aeschylus said on Sep 29, 2006....
ROFLMAO !!!
I'm with Indie, but I'll say "triple damn!" and "cool!"
janet got caught in a time warp somewhere ... I'm visualizing the dark ages???
I also agree with silverwhisper. And anonymous usually reflects one of those masses I keep dodging.
aeschylus
bai ming sheng
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InterplanetJanet said on Sep 29, 2006....
what are you fucking retarded, aeschylus? I was being sarcastic; grow a clue.
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aeschylus said on Sep 29, 2006....
Janet ... I said it wrong; and I knew you were being sarcastic.
I was picturing the dark masses and lightning bolts, which is not what you were saying. Just what I was visualizing when read the words.
As for the "fucking retarded" bit ... That I'll let pass this time. Even you could have said that better.
Sorry.
aeschylus
bai ming sheng
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PurpleMoon said on Oct 01, 2006....
hmmmm.... ;)
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JayneBond said on Oct 06, 2006....
Rrrrrrow.
Ms. IPJ is very possessive dear Aeschylus LOL. You should see when we go out in bars, she even gets physically violent to girls who come on to me.
Awwww it's so cute, she's so petite compared to me.
Now, Now IPJ you know what I said about fighting, even virtual catfights should be done in a jello wrestling pit with bikinis!
;p
JB
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vacantmind said on Nov 14, 2007....
I am bisexual but I won't take offense because when your right, I am willing to admit it. Women are better!
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