• wombat said on Jul 20, 2009....

  Oh! I want to play!

  1.  I missed shutting off the alarm clock right away this morning because I was dreaming of having, well....a good time, let's say...and in my dream, I was saying, "Let it go, just keep going."   Funny---and scary!

  2.  I ignored absolutely everyone at work again today, just as I did Friday.  Just did my job and listened to the conversations in my head under my earplugs.  Scary?   Maybe.....but I think it's more like funny!
   
  3.  I told Mr. W that I would give him x amount of $'s a week, clean house like a maniac, and work on my writing in exchange for getting out of that hell hole of a job this Fall.  Wonderful, (and I am getting out),  but it's scary that I might not hold up to my promises! 

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 20, 2009....

  1. I put on a skimpy tank top and realized those last ten pounds matter a lot. (scary!)
  
  2. I tried to tell little one why not to blow bubbles in her milk at supper and ended up laughing.
  
  3. When I exited IHOP, mini-Ferny in her carseat-carrier in one hand and little one's hand in the other with the huge diaper bag on that arm, I put my shoulder against the door, pushed, and it didn't move. I ended up using what God gave me in abundance to force it open, which I'm sure looked funny to anyone who saw it, loaded down as I was! :-D
  
  ~Infernal
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 20, 2009....

  wombie - OMG! that's hilarious!

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 20, 2009....

  TIO - I had to give my daughter a tshirt I bought for myself a week ago.  In some heightened state of denial I bought a shirt that I kept falling out of.  Those last ten pounds really do make a difference! ;)
   

• CreativeWoman said on Jul 20, 2009....

  1.  I had to weave through road construction today.  I thought to myself that those neon yellow t-shirts make the guys feel invisible as they stand there waiting for their break.
  
  2.  My dad said he felt like he was 50 today.  I told him I did too.
  
  3.  When the doctor looked at my bruised toenail on my right foot today, he asked me if I knew why it didn't take a turn for the worse like my other toe did.  I said because my blood sugar was now under control.  He said, "exactly".  Then I said.  "It didn't take me long to catch on to that."  He laughed at my sarcastic candor. (Both scary and funny when you think about it.)
  
  P.S. I want to eat whatever Wombie ate before she went to bed so I can have those kinds of dreams.  :-D
  
  CW
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jul 20, 2009....

  
  
  lol... I might regret this later ... but right now, I don´t care :D
  
  
  1. To blow off a bit of steam, I joked with P that I will tell K a fib to irk him for being so impossible over the phone today (long story but it involved his over-protectiveness for his beloved Jeep Grand Cherokee, that in `principle´ both belong to us but somehow never quiet get into `practice´ stage) . . . since K hate dealing with people, I wanted to fib that I am selling the rest of the stuff I have in Germany on Ebay, and that I am expecting a huge flow of people traffic to come and see the stuff I left in `our´ flat  (the rent contract has still my name on it) flat... Funny for P & I ...would be scary for K
  
  
  2. Arrr, I almost agreed that K drive P & I to Berlin out of desperation! But instead I told him P & I  will take a raincheck on that.  I agreed that K pick me up from the borders of the Netherlands though... which I am regretting now... scary compromise... :/ (My plan: I will listen to my Dutch CD to avoid conversations!)
  
  
  3. After letting out my tension by blathering over the phone call I had with K to P, I said something random (another `evil´ plot that I say but never acts on because I want to go to heaven! ) to end the litany of frustration and disappointment...somehow just saying my outrageous plan out aloud to P, and hearing his booming laughter made me grin wickedly!
  
  
  ahhh, that felt good to share :D
  
  
  

• MissMimi said on Jul 20, 2009....

  1.  I told the cat this morning, after picking up a little "gift" she had left me, that I didn't mind picking up little dried poops off the floor, but to please not pee on the floor.  "Come on, kitty, if I can't pee on the floor, neither can you."  I leave it to you to decide if that's funny or scary.

  2.  It didn't occur to me until around 4 this afternoon that I hadn't used my oxygen all day.  How bizarre that I had forgotten.  Kinda nerve wracking because I am generally very good about remembering.  Breathing is always a good thing.

  3.  I was telling a friend in an e-mail that I was working on a Christmas quilt.  In her reply, she said, "I noticed you didn't say for which Christmas.  :D"  Such a smart aleck.  LOL  She remembered that it took me four years to finish a quilt for MimiJr.  It would've been done sooner, but it was ugly, and I hated to even look at it.

• quietone said on Jul 20, 2009....

  1. and only.... how many times do I have to remind myself to take the cap off from my bottle of soda before I try to take a drink... (and look around to see if anyone else saw my dumb attack) when I am alone in my house!!  duh! 
   
  2.   I just want to know what was captured your attention so much in that IM uni!!  LOL

• Me-Myself&I said on Jul 20, 2009....

  well sitting here talking to myself, asking myself if i did anything funny or scary is funny! lol.

  coming home today after work i saw this tower of smoke coming from my neighborhood. omg i thought, is that my house. i put my foot into the pedal and away i went. i turned the corner so fast that what was in the back went everywhere! it was the neighbor burning the remains of a old house! that was scary!

  that's all i got! *smile* have a good evening

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 20, 2009....

  CW - LOL @ your #2
   
  Paper - exageration is a classic stress relief technique.  I often will say ridiculous things that I have no intention of doing just to get a laugh and some relief!
   
  MMM - your gift of overstating the obvious always gets a belly laugh from me.
   
  quiet - drinking accidents are definately funny!  Every once in a while, out of pure mischief I'll punch the gas when Sweetie is drinking in the car. (she's not supposed to since she spilled a milkshake in the back seat)
   
  MM&I - that would be scary given your recent experience.

• GrapeKoolaid said on Jul 20, 2009....

  Let's see here...
  
  I went to see the doctor today and he said, "we need to get more tests done on you"  (Scary)
  
  He said, "please get undressed".  (Double scary!!!)
  
  So there I am, covering my "area" with the bundle of clothes I was wearing and I say, "where do you want me to put my clothes?"
  
  He says, "You can just put them right next to mine".  (Ba-doom Tch!)
  

• Hegemone said on Jul 20, 2009....

  1. I coaxed a kitten to stand up only to see her lose her balance and gracefully roll over backwards onto her sibling.  (Funny)
  2. I nearly made my nephew pee his pants by supplying him with the word 'corny' when he was eating a piece of baby corn and said 'This tastes ....' and was lost for words.  His laughter is infectious.
  3. I wanted (and still do) to find a way to cleanly, legally murder my dad.  (Scary)
     

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  grape - nice one! ;)  male or female doctor?!!
   
  hege - that was a corny joke. (see I can do it too!)  No help on #3, but if something pops up I'll let you know.

• hairbrushedhubby said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1 I went shopping today in the rain and was pissed of waiting on the buses.

  2 I spent hours surfing the internet on the computer.

  3 When the wife gets home from work, I'll say dinner will be about an hour, go and relax and I will bring you up a cup of tea. She will ask where our teenagers are and I will say they are all at work.

  When I bring her the tea, I will slowly undress in front of her, and as she smiles and puts her tea down, I will hand her a hardwood hairbrush, put myself over her knee, turn my face up to her and with a cheeky grin say I've been a very, very naughty boy today, what is she going to do about it?

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  hairbrush - Hmmm you are an interesting sort of guy, aren't you?

• UnicornForm said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1. I was nice to my brother(Weird)
   
  2. A dog i know can run faster than i can run or bike(Scary)
   
  3. I stood up today and laughed for no reason, i still dont know why (thats mi funny)

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  UF - most dogs can run faster than me, but you might run faster.

• wombat said on Jul 21, 2009....

  (CW)  I just had cube steak and fries.  That's "cube" steak, with a C.  Ha!!!!!!!!

• Lucytorial said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1.  Boss lady's sister saw a bananna and said "Don't eat that it'll make you sleepy"  Boss lady said "In that case I'll play with it before I get sleepy"
   
  2.  I'm in charge at work today, scary as that may seem I feel like being nice (down right hilarious)
   
  3. We saw a mouse try get in through the front sliding door last night, looked at the dog, she looked at us as if to say "hey did you see that mouse" whilst lying on her back, paws in the air, stupid smile on her face.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  Lu - Straus isn't the sharpest tack in the "defending my castle" game, is she?  I witnessed it first hand when that scorpion thing landed on the porch and she joined me on the opposite end. LOL

• one_wired_kitty said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1) I get paid today
   
  2) New Man and I are going out tonight
   
  3) My mom made me count how many potatoes we have

• exhibit_c said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1) Before I left for work, I put a few antihistamines in my pocket. When I got to the office, they were missing.
  
  2) I read a racy story on the web. When done, I went to the men's room for a call of nature, and noticed that I was distinctly larger than my usual flaccid self.
  
  3) I've had several handfuls of potato chips.
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  OWK - she made you count the potatos? weird

  exhibit - imagine the surprise of the pick pocket when they came up with antihistimines

• pusscat said on Jul 21, 2009....

  1.  Told the doc this morning about my obsessive compulsive disorder that goes on over ride during 'an episaode'  I have to have all the handles of the mugs on the draining board all facing exactly the same way and I mean EXACTLY spot on lol!
  
  2.  Sat playing cards (Gin Rummy) with hubby this afternoon but only realised that I had already won when I really looked at my cards closer after hubby said he'd one.  Still not sure at what point I'd won??  Where was my brain today?
  
  3.  No. 3 is the answer to the end of No 2.  My brain had died as I had to take my Olanzapine tablet this afternoon cos I forgot to take it last night lol!
  
  I'll let you lot decide if the above are funny or scary ;-)
  

• sherrycakes12 said on Jul 21, 2009....

  Awsome information, you are definetly on to something here.
   
  I worked harder than ever before
  I cleared my mind
  I cleaned up my troubles
  I heard something than no one heard

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  puss - [blinks] you mean everyone doesn't put the handles the same exact position?
   
  sherry - onto something?

• pusscat said on Jul 21, 2009....

  Ha ha ha!!  Nice one uni :-))

• fragglesrock said on Jul 21, 2009....

  funny - i told my boss not to get a complex...it's only my computer that's the son of a bitch, boss just happens to wander up to my desk at the exact wrong times.

  scary/funny - i was halfway to work this morning before i realized i had forgotten something important, so i turned around and went home. while i was home grabbing the forgotten item i realized i had also forgotten my lunch. good thing i forgot the first thing, or i wouldn't have realized i forgot the second thing. gheesh.

  scary - i almost called in sick to work AGAIN today because i just don't like going to that place lately.

   

   

   

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  frags - #3 sounds like something I'd do.  Though I have done #2 and just plain forgot both somethings and had to eat what was in my desk drawers and hope for the best.

• destinydiva said on Jul 21, 2009....

  hmmm done or said today thats scary...
  
  
  geez i have had one hell of a day and said many things!!!  which to choose...
  
  I said too one of my oldest friends, that if she doesnt like the fact that i am happy then deleting me from facebook was the right thing to do (that took some balls!! lol...she has given me sly comments for weeks then today she deleted me!!  with a message...sick of signing in and reading all my happy happy bullshit!!...geez if your friends dont like to see you happy then i guess its time to change ya friends anyway huh? )
  
  ....sorry for rant there :-)
  
  number 2!!  ....   I said to my son today, wow thats it!!  no more nursery (kindergarden)  your a big boy now school after the holidays!!!!   that scared me!! time goes so fast!! my little baby is starting school in september!!!
  
  number 3...    I told my husband today...that this independant woman...depends on you totally :-)
  
  xx
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 21, 2009....

  des - good for you telling your "friend" that.  Geez!  I love to see my friends happy.  Yes, they do grow up fast.  Don't blink.

• one_wired_kitty said on Jul 21, 2009....

  UI - She gave me a reason why but I forget now ....

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 22, 2009....

  OWK - I hate when that happens!

• wolfafterurazz said on Jul 23, 2009....

  1.) Scary: The State Patrol came around me to pull the guy infront of me over. My asshole was really tight. 2.) Scary: My horse bolted while I was riding her and pulled a crick in my back. 3.) Scary: My Mirror has this ugly fuker in it every time I look into it WTF.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 23, 2009....

  wolf - the first two are scary!  I think you're gonna keep having trouble with #3 ;)

• wolfafterurazz said on Jul 24, 2009....

  lmao u think...............I bet in you were in front of him it he wouldn't be so damn ugly or maybe he would but he would be looking at sompin else. ~wink~wolf~

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 24, 2009....

  wolfie - naw! there'd just be two scary things in front of the mirror ;)

• WithoutShade said on Jul 24, 2009....

  1. Funny - The cotton dress I told someone was too long to dance in, came out of the drier too short to wear.
  2. Scary - A guy noticed that the dress was shorter than the last time I wore it, and came over to tell me.
  3. Scary Funny - A child asked me to hold his hand, then gave my hand to the cute guy next to him and ran off.

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 24, 2009....

  WS - #3 is a giggle waiting to happen!  I hate when stuff goes into the dryer one size and comes out another.

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