Hello:
I am new really to posting - I'm a watcher here mostly. I wanted to share a recent experience which has left me hurting and confused. I am a sub, have been with my master for almost one year and i am happy with him for the most part. I do miss having a commitment between us - he talks of making me HIS but hasn't done it. I also know that he is on other online sites, talking with other subs and he knows that I do not like that. I do not feel like I can tell him what to do or make demands, he does not make them of me either - as far as seeing others. He has told me that he has not been with anyone but me, other than his online talks.
Recently, I was feeling restless, I guess let-down by him and this situation. I wanted advice, wanted to talk to Doms - I have sub friends and they give me a variety of answers - tell him you're unhappy, be happy with what you have, quit trying to tell him what to do, etc. I wanted a Dom perspective to all of this. Anyway, I joined a BDSM site with the intent of communicating. A Dom contacted me right away - someone in my area - he was nice at first, seemed interested in me. But as I shared my situation, he became less and less nice. He told me he needed 5 minutes with me on the phone, and in that 5 minutes, he could change my entire outlook - that I would no longer want my current master. I'm not giving out my number THAT easily but when I told him that - and that maybe he should give his to me, he said I was being very disrespectful. I told him that was not intended, it just didn't feel safe to me to give my number out. His comments became stronger - more put-downs to me, telling me I wouldn't have gone on that site if I was happy at all, that I needed more and that in 5 minutes, he could show me.
I responded that he did not know me or my situation or my master (he seemed to really hate hearing about my master) and this made him very angry. He told me I was cheating on my master and was simply not nice at all. He said he was tired of my games and BS - we had been "talking" online for less than 1 day but I guess not being willing to call him meant I was playing games.
I would just like thoughts, input. I responded to him that although I know some subs like to be treated cruelly and humiliated, that was not for me and I got off the site. I guess I certainly did learn that while my master isn't perfect, he is perfect for me. I wish we could be full-time but there are reasons that can't be and I need to know he's giving me what he can. So, I am not so much having the questions about the commitment, or anything - I know I need to talk to him but I am very curious about why a REAL DOM would act the way this man on the site did. Really - are we, as subs supposed to just be respectful from the start? To me, respect should be earned and respect goes both ways. I do not feel like this person respected me or probably any women and I feel badly that someone actually may end up with him.
Any thoughts?
