My exams start this monday. All i'm doing is thinking of you ever since the day you came into my dreams. I dont wanna flunk and I just cant flunk. Why do I love you so much, after so long? Why on fucking earth did you invade my dreams? Why did you come to my dreams after so long?
For this last one year I have been trying to be myself, the way I was before I met you. I have been trying so damn hard to put you behind and get on with my life. Trying to brush away the million and one unanswered questions. Do you have any idea what I've been through? Putting the pieces together each day, taking baby steps at a time. Then just as I thought I put you behind me, I have moved on and have forgotten you, this happens. You invade my dreams one night with a message and thats it. Thats all it takes to shatter me once more. Has been more than a week that I dreamt of you and I am back to where I started. Crying, pining, depressed, longing for you. You will never know how hard its been for me to live this life without you, to accept the fact that you are no longer mine and I'm no longer yours. We can never ever be together. This is life, its not one of those movies I love where everything gets ok. The hero comes back , sweeps the girl off her feet , they kiss and ride off to the sunset.
I grew up thinking life will be like that, mushy , romantic and perfect. But life is not. You didnt come back. I was never the perfect heroine. I didnt wait for you. I rode around the city in my ex's bike to make you jealous. I thought you will get me back. I didnt realise you will get so jealous that you will go away. Your friends told you they saw me with another guy. Why didnt you get me back? Why did you let me go? No one told me life works this way. I was such a bloody fool.
Why doesnt life give us another chance? Why cant I at least say goodbye. I just wanna say goodbye baby I just wanna say goodbye shona. Just this once. I didnt mean to hurt you. Thats all I want you to know. That I loved you very very much. You dont have to come back to me. Dont have to love me or think of me. Just leme say goodbye and that forgive me for all my mistakes. I forgive you for yours. I hope you are happy wherever you are.
