There is so much I wanna ask you, wanna tell you, wanna share with you. If I dont express I will go insane. I thought I will mail you but its no use. You wont believe me anyway. So its better that I write it all down like letters to you. You will never know how much I loved you, how much I still do and how much it burns me day night. Even if you knew you wouldnt have believed anyway.

I wont try to fight this time, wont try to convince you or make you see the truth. I wont ask you to believe me nor will I try to get you back. I release you henceforth. I let you go. I'll let you think I never loved you and I have moved on. I'll let you think I have forgotten you. Even worse I'll let you believe that I hate you. No I'm not doing this because I'm cruel but because I'm helpless. I have no choice. You wont believe me anyway. So how does it matter how I feel, it doesnt make a difference to you. You will believe what you want to believe, you will see what you want to, I cant show you how I feel or change your perception. Besides I cant give up my self respect anymore. So I'll let you be egoistic (like I can change you if I wanted to!) and think that I played with your heart. If it makes you hate me and move on, so be it. If it brings you happiness, so be it.

Let me just love you like this, from a distance, in silence. You will never find out and honestly it makes me smile. This is the only revenge I can have for my tears, my pain, my heartbreak. I wish I had thought of it earlier. I was going crazy. I spent so many days in anguish, feeling helpless and unable to share. How long can I bother other people about my heartbreak, no one understands anyway except my best friend. How much can I try, how hard can I try to explain it to you that its you I love, its you I've ever loved. I'm not making excuses for my share of mistakes. If I regret anything in life I regret it the most. The fact that I couldnt make you understand how much you mean to me, what you are for me. You misunderstood me and went away. You thought I played with your emotions and broke your heart. Never looked back since then.

I'll have my sweet revenge. I will write to you, pour my heart out in these letters. Its anonymous so no one will know its me. Needless to say it will all be true because no one knows me here so no reason for me to lie and you wont ever find out. Imagine how strange! This blog is for you, my pain, my love, my longing, its all for you only you will never come to know. I'll keep you in dark , thats the only satisfaction I have or I'll ever have. At last after so long I can sleep in peace tonight.