Upon my wedding day, I quit smoking (my husband is staunchly anti-smoking). Upon my wedding day, I quit dancing (my husband can't/won't dance). Upon my wedding day I married a man who LOVES to cook rich, hearty meals and lovely desserts.
Combine quitting smoking, less exercise and more food - and what do you get? WEIGHT GAIN. Two years ago my family planned a major vacation for the following year, and five months before the vacation I made a goal to lose 30 pounds by the time we left. I accomplished that goal and it was one of the hardest things I've done outside giving birth. However, once we came back from the vacation, I lost all incentive to continue going. I tried to come up with another goal - but couldn't find one. As a result, over the past 12+ months, I have gained all of that weight back. I was fitting into size 18 pants - and they were big on me. I was on the verge of being a size 16. I'm now back into my size 20s and couldn't put on an 18 if I tried.
Another problem is that when I'm depressed, I eat. I find comfort in food. And I think I've been depressed for a VERY long time. But even without that - I just ENJOY food. And the food I enjoy is not healthy food. It's chocolate, chips, ice cream, donuts, cereal, big fat steaks with french fries on the side, etc. What's funny? I rarely go out for fast food. Maybe once a month?
My husband is not thin - but he's not fat either. He's about 200 pounds. I'd love to be 200 pounds. My husband has a very minor "spare tire" around his middle - but he'll give up drinking beer for a month and POOF! it's gone. He asked me last night if I'd still be attracted to him if he was fat. I reminded him that when I was a size 8 I dated a guy that was easily 300 pounds, so weight is not a deal-breaker for me. It's the MAN that counts - the person I'm with. Not what he looks like.
The problem is I can't find an activity that I enjoy to help with the weight loss. I love dancing. But I'm married with kids now - I can't exactly start clubhopping 2-3 nights a week. And dancing at home just isn't the same. I've heard about Zumba classes, but I can't find a class in my area that doesn't require a gym membership to attend (we can't afford a gym membership). I've thought about taking up running - which I did briefly about 6 years ago - but I don't find enjoyment in it. But when my kids start back up with school next month, I'm going to try the Couch to 5K program and see if I can get back into it.
As for the food, I suppose I'll have to start counting calories again (I was eating 1300 calories a day when I lost the pre-vacation 30 pounds). I'll have to make small commitments - like no eating after 9:00 p.m., or giving up chocolate for a month, or forcing myself to eat one fruit and one veggie a day (which is more than I eat now).
I know I need to lose weight - not for him, not for my husband. I need to do it for me. Is my marriage enough of an incentive to do something about it? Right now, on Day One of attempting to recover the marriage - I can honestly say I don't know. I honestly don't know.
