• HisFairMaiden said on Jul 12, 2009....

  yes grumpy!!!    lol...
  
  love to you darling!  ;)
  

• Hegemone said on Jul 12, 2009....

  PC, I tried to view them .. but it said it was a private thing.  So sorry life is being so hard on you right now.  Maybe it's just the storm getting ready to pass so you may have some serenity in life soon.  At least I'll be hoping that's what it is.  I'm here if you need me.  ((((((((((HUG))))))))))

• pusscat said on Jul 13, 2009....

  I've changed the privacy settings - sorry.

• seer said on Jul 13, 2009....

  ((((HUGS))))
   
  What are they from? self harm?
   
   

• pusscat said on Jul 13, 2009....

  'fraid so seer.  Not done that in soooo long either. 
  
  Are you going soft in your old age?  You gave me some hugs ;-)  Needed em too.
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jul 13, 2009....

  
  (((warm embrace)))
  
  I am sorry you are feeling this way, PC. :(
  
  I looked at the images...  I am really sad that you have to do that because you are hurting so much inside.  This is one of the many moments in SC, when I wished I could be there more than leave words.
  
  I hope by expressing what you feel, what is in your head, that it offered even just a bit of release.
  
  I think of you, and always send healing positive thoughts... I hope some reach you, and lend you a bit of peace.
  
  <3
  
  always, paper ~
  
  p.s.
  
  btw, i just discovered green day through piet´s son aka Guitar Hero.  i listened to their album `Bullet In A Bible´ last saturday while clearing up stuff from our kitchen (being renovated :) ). it is awesome group i find :) ... to still the persistent thoughts in one´s head, which are not entirely helpful...
  
  
  
  
  

• onlymimi said on Jul 13, 2009....

  I know you're hurting, and I wish I knew a magic word or pill to ease it.  :(  E-mail or PM box is always open to you for anything at all.  {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

• Hegemone said on Jul 13, 2009....

  PC, my gosh I just wish there was some way to take away the pain and the negativity that goes through your mind, the stuff that you suffer with, the stuff that you ask 'Why me?' about.  I wish there was a way, truly, so that you don't have to do this stuff and even though it gives you a tiny bit of release at the time, then you have to work around it afterwards and that seems to be a really tough thing to deal with.  It's such a shame we're so far away because right now I'd like to just scoop you up in a big hug and just let you get it all out.  But alas, that one won't work, so the virtual kind will have to do.  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
  
  P.S. - Saw a baby Robin hopping around outside the other day and I immediately thought of you.  After about twenty minutes of him checking us out, stopping, cocking his head and the whole bit, he got curious and came closer to us.  I guess his momma didn't like it because she came and scared the living bejeezus out of all of us and that little bird took off and flew!  So PC ... maybe you're getting ready to fly for a little while?
  

• pusscat said on Jul 13, 2009....

  Hi HFM - sorry, just not very good right now hun.
  
  Hey PAPER - your positive thoughts always worked for me cos you're a special lady.
  
  Mims - I'll try to stay in touch no matter what - I don't want to worry you again.  Thank you for the hugs.  One can never have too many hugs.
  
  Hege - bless you darling.  I pictured that little robin and it made me smile (not been many of those lately).
  
  I am finding it just so difficult to express the sheer frustration of people not understanding bipolar.  I sometimes feel like I'm 'doing my bit' to educate but they just still don't get it.  There is the good ol' feeling sorry for yourself frustration.  Not liking what you have become frustration.  The nerves being on edge 24/7 frustration.  I do know it will pass.  It HAS to pass but it's just so bloody hard sometimes.
  
  I don't want to be the SC moaner.  I have always tried to help myself - my light box for S.A.D Oct - April.  Spreading out my annual leave from work evenly right throughout the year.  Being outside in the sun and fresh air as much as possible and I never mess with my meds without speaking with the professionals first.  So, how the shit did this knock me for six in the middle of summer?!  Now there's the 64,000 dollar question.
  
  Thanks for stopping by my friends (that's you seer but of course I caught up with you earlier :-)
  
  

• seer said on Jul 13, 2009....

  Puss, maybe you could find a different way of releasing tension?
   
  As someone who doesn't self harm I can't really understand properly. But what I do understand is that its a sort of silent scream, and I think everyone does something to scream like that, and that maybe there is something else you could do?
   
  Guessing only from how your arm looks, you're probably quite pretty, and it'd be sad to see you covered in scars.

• secretlife said on Jul 13, 2009....

  puss:

  i'm so sad to see that you hurt yourself.

  i did not know this about you-

  please find some help.  i know you must have a therapist or counselor that you talk to and who helps you manage the bipolar.  please call.  reach out.  please.

  you can't do it alone and you've been floundering with this depression for quite some time now.

  i'm worried about you.

   

• UnicornForm said on Jul 13, 2009....

  mm gory photos! It will work out in the end darling. Freinds will stick with you through it.

• pusscat said on Jul 15, 2009....

  seer - I've really enjoyed talking with you.  Thanks for your support.  You can easily make me laugh too which is soooo good :-)
  
  secret - You're quite right.  I'm seeing the docs tomorrow so i'm going to speak again about either counselling or the Consultant who can take a look at the meds I'm on.  I'm having these episodes far too regular.  It is hard finding someone professional to talk to about being a submissive and, to be honest, like it or not, it does effect my mental health if my needs are not met or if I cannot serve.  I know this is hard for some to understand but it's vital I get to speak of this withing my counselling sessions.  We shall see eh :-)
  
  Unicorn - Aaw you are so right.  My friends have really stuck with me with this and do you know who most of them are??  They are my dear 'Casters in crime from right here!  All Casters are a true marvel!
  

• secretlife said on Jul 15, 2009....

  puss:  i completely agree that it's important that you share the submissive thing with your counselor.  it's part of what makes you you, and i'm betting that most therapists can deal with this.

  i'm keeping you in my prayers and hoping that the docs can help you not only with the meds but with finding you someone you can open up with about what's weighing on your mind.

  sending lots of love your way.  i wish there was more i could do besides this virtual hug-

  {{{{{{{{[pusscat}}}}}}}}}

  secret

• pusscat said on Jul 15, 2009....

  secret - please believe me when I tell you that you REALLY DO make a difference when you stop by and say what you do.  I will vouch for and stand up and shout it if need be that possitive thoughts and cyber hugs sent by my fellow 'Casters have done wonders in the past and recently.  It was SC that made me believe in positive thinking and have used this my friends everywhere.  Finding a precious ring or necklace to getting that right job, it works, honest! :-)

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