Recently on both sides of the pond there has been allot of controversy over the torture of suspected terrorist suspects. In America it seems to be that if you’re a suspected terrorist the CIA takes you away to some dark hole in the earth and stick your head underwater until you say what they want to hear. Then they take you to Guantanamo Bay were some angry US soldiers use you as there bit of fun for whenever they get bored and the CIA might show up every now and then.
In Brittan however we have a much better way of doing things. MI5 or the police watch you for a while then if they think you’re a terrorist find a way of sending you to some nasty place were the police aren’t quite as nice as Constable Bob. For example say they know you’re going to visit family or going to learn how to blow stuff up in Pakistan. Once you’re in this country MI5 like to tip of the local ISI that you’re a suspected terrorist and they think the ISI should pick you up. Once this happens the ISI will most probably torture you and ask you questions, on a list MI5/6 have given to them. Every now and then someone called John will turn up form MI5/6 to check up on you make sour they are treating you well and most importantly if you’ve said anything, he’ll also ignore your bruising. Finally after you have admitted that you’re paling to kill the queen or something MI5 ask the ISI if they can have you back so they can put you up in a court and you have to spend the rest of your life in prison.
It’s a brilliant system, the best bit is though that once you come back to the UK and start accusing MI5/6 with cooperating with the ISI or whoever tortured you all they have to do is say “prove that we knew you were being tortured”. Were as in America everyone knows that it was the CIA and deniability is a bit harder. I think this is a technique the US intelligence should adopt. If the CIA under Obama want to carry on torturing but in a more private manor the I would sajest the speaking to MI6’s new “uncle C” you can add him as a friend on facebook if want!.



