oh man i miss my old job.
we pulled some doozies on eachother.
working at the animal shelter was interesting, sad, chaotic and sometimes a whole lot of fun. you have to be a little insane to do that kind of work and still be able to smile. lemme tell ya i worked with some insane people (myself included in that group) ;)
to start let me tell you that the building used to be a church before it was renovated and turned into a shelter. i worked second shift. some nights i would get REEEALLLY creeped out being the only one in this huge old church until 11 or 12 at night.
with that being said you have to know that one of the guys' favorite things to do was to scare the shit out of me.
there were the nights that they hid outside and jumped at me from behind the building as i was walking to my car. that was the closest i have ever come to pissing myself out of pure fear. also, it was that night that i learned that if someone ever tries to assault me i'll probably freeze, turn pale and stand there shaking as no sound escapes my open mouth that's trying to scream. (they actually felt bad about that one)
there were the nights that they would park their work vans out of sight of the security camera and sneak in a back door without me seeing them...then they'd hide somewhere like the restroom or somewhere else that i was bound to go and jump out and scare me. god, i can't tell you how many heart attacks i almost suffered.
one night i made up a fake "intake sheet" from the "ambulance company" and left it on the desk and it looked really legit. i was trying to make it look like i was taken away by ambulance after having the shit scared out of me. (that was the night they tapped into the building intercom from their phones and i thought someone was in the building) anyways, i didn't leave it in enough plain site for the do-do heads to find it but my boss did the next morning and called me to make sure i was ok. whooops!
there was the time that they "peanut-buttered" my phone. i answered the phone and had peanut butter ALL OVER my hands and ear and in my hair. i was cleaning peanut butter out of my phone for months.
there was the time that i "lip-sticked" one of their phones, he answered the phone and had lipstick ALL OVER his face and even some on his shirt. \
there were the dead gerbils/hampsters etc... left in shocking places... like on a keyboard.
there was the time i shot one of the guys (accidentally) with citronella dog spray.
there was the time that one of the guys shot his own self in the eye (accidentally) with bear spray.
there was the time that one of the officers blew up a picture of me from when we went out to the bar (i was showing major cleavage, head thrown back, giving the rocker symbol) blew it up, duplicated it by about a 100 and hung them all over the shelter, from the ceilings, backs of doors, mens room, ladies room, everywhere i turned when i got in to work that day i saw my not-work-appropriate picture mocking me. most of the employees gathered round in the lobby at noon when i was due to come in, just to see my face. wasn't my retirement, birthday, or anything of the sort, just a big prank on me. i honestly couldn't believe that my boss let my boobs be hung up all over the building. gah.
there were the guys that licked my lunch spoon and put it back in my desk drawer without telling me until after i used it. they had the picture to prove it of course.
and i'm sure i could go on...but for now i will stop because i have to go on to my next blog which tells how i plotted for weeks to get my revenge and it all blew up in my face...
