I guess i can call it a life lesson.
I guess i can call it a struck of luck
I guess it might teach me to put more faith in people and always hoping in the positive.
I guess.
Story is short but the moral is huge.
Mother calls daughter from work and asks her to please bring the $11 check she left on the table to the apartment complex office when daughter will leave the house to go to a friend house.
Daughter in her mindless hurry to get out of the house and get in the friend car somehow along the way loses check.
Mother comes back home from work and asks daughter about the check.
Daughter with extreme nonchalance says to her:
"Oh, i lost it this morning".
"Did you try to look around for it?"
"No, i was already arrived at her house when i noticed it"
Mother
snaps deep inside but is able to stay calm and collected while in her head
visions of financial disasters erupt any sort of possible horrible
scenario.
Somebody has surely found the check, she thinks, altered the amount and
the recipient and used it to direct her money to their own deposit.
I know, i know.....you might ask.....geez, Gingersoul ...relax....
No, mother start to panic, instead.
After all these are not times (if there is ever a time) to take it easy.
Important detail: mother is, for nature, genetically wired toward pessimism.
Mother doesn't trust human nature that much.
So she immediately reaches the phone and calls her bank.
A very nice guy, named Jonathan, answers.
She explains the fact and Jonathan says:
"Would you believe this is the fourth time in one week that i got a call from a parent with the same problem?"
"Oh, yes, i do believe it"
Nice Jonathan reassures mother that everything is under control but there is a but..
"It will cost you
a 30 dollar fee"
Mother says in a voice full of disbelief: "What?? 30 dollars to block a check of 11??"
Sweet-Jonathan replies "I know, i am sorry"
Mother thinks about how peacefully she will sleep at night knowing nobody would play dirty tricks with her money...
What the heck, she thinks.....take those freaking money and give me back some peace of mind.
Jonathan is really very nice and explains all the procedure and the blah blah to mother before leaving her $30 lighter.
Mother hungs the phone and thinks:
"I am going to kill her" (Her as daughter)
Not even 10 minutes go by that the phone rings.
Mother answers the phone. Its the manager of her apartment complex.
"Somebody found your check. A woman brought it to our office this morning."
Mother can only burst in a sound laughter..
"Thank you very much. This is a relief"
Mother also thinks daughter is lucky because she will live another day and sends above daughter to the office.
Its the least she can do, right?
And then mother is struck by the reality, by the fact that somebody found her check and
took their time and showed such a courtesy and gentleness to bring it to the office.
She would have done the same but she doesn't have the same faith in her fellow human beings.
Should mother try to increase her level of faith in the good nature of people?
Or... she has been just lucky and she should leave it there?
Isn't better going on in life not expecting much good to happen and being surprised when the good indeed happens?
Or, its better expecting always the best but being disappointed when the good doesn't happen?
gingersoul posted on Jul 05, 2009
| views: 366
Comments
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moonriver said on Jul 05, 2009....
ginger, i'm more of the 2nd type (optimist) because i think my attitudes radiate outwards and influence people and events around me.that also means a trade-off: i get disappointed when the good doesn't happen.but i do have enough pragmatism in me to let these things roll off after a while.it won't hurt, i think, for you to increase your optimism just a bit.whichever, we all have our coping mechanisms vs. disappointments.mine is to increase my optimism. -
gingersoul said on Jul 05, 2009....
Moon.....yes, you have been telling me by quite some time now to be more optimistic.....;-p
But see...in a way it still seems easier going in life more guarded than wide open and exposed.
I am this contradiction in terms......i am a pragmatic-realistic optimist.
In a way i see the good and i truly hope for it to happens..
But the fact is....it doesn't surprise me when the good doesn't happen..
It surprises me when indeed happens. -
moonriver said on Jul 05, 2009....
i guess there is no mechanical formula or mix of attitudes that works for everyone.each one of us have our own set of experiences that shape our hopes, expectations, and fears about people.the cliche "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" defines the two extremes.most people do try to see a wide range of possibilities in between, and get themselves ready for whatever does happen.sophie thinks very much like you in these matters, but i'd like to believe that now she's begun to agree with my long-term optimism about the essential goodness of people.i was repeatedly telling her that killing sons and daughters never solved the problem... :-) -
secretlife said on Jul 05, 2009....
moon's right- it's a scientific principal- the power of positive thinking-
i think they called it self fulfilling prophesy in the psychology books.
it's always nice to be reminded that there are plenty of nice (and honest) people in the world.
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gingersoul said on Jul 05, 2009....
Yes, you are right .....everyone copes with their own strategy...
Which brings to the assertion that......yes, killing sons and daughters might help ...naturally ONLY in our mind, silly....lol...
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gingersoul said on Jul 05, 2009....
Secret....how odd....i was reading an article about positive thinking just yesterday.... ..let me link it .....
Positive thinking can be harmful
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UnicornForm said on Jul 05, 2009....
short sweet sexy and super....dont apologize. nice post. -
Hegemone said on Jul 05, 2009....
I'd fall somewhere in the middle, maybe have a little more faith in human consideration ... but still take a glance over your shoulder every once in a while if ya know what I mean. -
CreativeWoman said on Jul 05, 2009....
I am thinking more positively lately. I really do believe I attract what my mind dwells on whether it be positive or negative.
As part of my hypnotherapy sessions, I was asked to read "The Law Of Attraction" by Michael Losier. You might want to read it to see if you agree with any of it. Of course, I'm very into harnessing my mind so it fired me up. :-)
I'm reading another book right now about how we plant "seed thoughts" in our minds that grow into our reality. It's the same kind of thing as the above book, but is specifically geared toward healing.
I choose positive thinking. :-)
Coincidentally, earlier this evening I did a post on my diabetic blog about being thankful.
CW
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queenparanoia said on Jul 05, 2009....
you know ginger, no matter how pessimist i can be sometimes, i cant help it but be positive when big things did hit my life... you know why? it gives me hope... and when it gives me hope , it makes me work hard to make that problem be solved. and then i realize how easy it would to be positive and just believe...
and yes there is still goodness in the world... we need to believe in that... ;-)
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beyondtheveil said on Jul 05, 2009....
ginsoul- Before going on, I can relate to "daughter is lucky she will live another day". I've had those feelings before, only with sons. It's very funny now, not so funny then.
Now to your post. Generally speaking, I find people pretty darn honest. Not only honest but polite. However, I have inserted defense mechanisms. One you mentioned which is I've taught myself not to have expectations. I don't see anything wrong with that, I don't see it as pessimistic.
Long ago I used to become upset with people. The people around me said I expected too much. What I expected were very simple, reasonable things to me. But they told me not to expect simple, reasonable things. So I learned not to and now I'm constantly uplifted by actions of others. It works, most of the time by far.
I have other mechanisms about loaning money, about not believing anything until it's in my hand. Again, it's not pessimism, it's different methods of dealing with people which most of the time avoids hard feelings which otherwise would not.
They work for me. Optimism is good, but optimism about people in itself will lead to expectations. So I just float along and hope for the best. Any time you say 'I expect', you're setting yourself up.
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superbozo said on Jul 05, 2009....
Ahhhh she lives to stuff up another day :)I have very little trust in most people but the truth is the people who have hurt me and stolen from me most are also the people I loved the most. Complete strangers on the other hand have always gone out of their way to help me.Its a funny old world. -
ABOVE_TOP_SECRET said on Jul 05, 2009....
Great story! Wonderful replies! -
MsStar39 said on Jul 06, 2009....
I tend to trust in the good in people even though there are times that i was disapointed. -
bhalah said on Jul 06, 2009....
my mom, said to me, the no, is always there if you dont move,.... look for the yes, if is not, at least you try, but maybe you win a yes!!.., dont know if is all abaut, but also life many time show me i can be more positive than i think i am, but my second me, sametimes push me to much, and i have to fight to much, to think positivly, but when i am completely down, and samething good hapens, i feel proud to be in this world..., and if not, i just want to give up, is not easy for me be always in a positive, but i try enyway...is better i know.. But optimism as a ecencial goodnes of people, wow, i lked... -
bhalah said on Jul 06, 2009....
my mom, said to me, the no, is always there if you dont move,.... look for the yes, if is not, at least you try, but maybe you win a yes!!.., dont know if is all abaut, but also life many time show me i can be more positive than i think i am, but my second me, sametimes push me to much, and i have to fight to much, to think positivly, but when i am completely down, and samething good hapens, i feel proud to be in this world..., and if not, i just want to give up, is not easy for me be always in a positive, but i try enyway...is better i know.. But optimism as a ecencial goodnes of people, wow, i lked... -
bhalah said on Jul 06, 2009....
sorry i did twaise, again, no patience...sorry -
soaringraven said on Jul 06, 2009....
ginger cookie - I love ginger cookies! Anyway I tend toward the cautiously optimistic. I realise that not everything is going to work out 'just fine' but often they come close enough to keep me on track. My daughter Cynthia is quite like you, determinedly pessimistic gratefully accepting the good while truly expecting the worst.I am not sure which if either is the better.soaring -
GrapeKoolaid said on Jul 06, 2009....
I'm with beyond on this one. I expect people to do what they do. I don't know if that's really a pessimistic attitude or not, but I've found that I'm seldom disappointed when I take this stance. As soon as I start expecting things of people is when I get disappointed.
There are exceptions to the rule, of course. There always are. :)
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fragglesrock said on Jul 06, 2009....
i'm glad it worked out and your daughter lived to tell ;) -
Lucytorial said on Jul 06, 2009....
ginger ~ I am a hopeless type 2 optomist! I like being that way, its not soo disapointing when people don't show me my faith is good in them, it just means I try a little harder to be more optomistic! -
dyingman said on Jul 06, 2009....
There's a happy medium. Take reasonable precautions to [prevent the worst from happening, think about what you'd do if something DID go wrong, then wait to see if your worst fears are realized knowing you've done what you can. It's been working okay for me for 43 years. -
wombat said on Jul 06, 2009....
I'm sad to say I am more of the first person--not expecting much and being surprised when the good happens. I wish I was more of the second person.
I wish there were so many of the "second persons" than it was common place to expect the good!
All I can say is that for the most part, I try to be the person than makes the good happen for others--no matter how small a gesture.
(I've turned around and returned ink pens that I accidentally "took" from a business. Doesn't make me an angel or a hero---but it makes me feel human on some level, even though I don't do it for the feeling. I just do it out of common courtesy)
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gingersoul said on Jul 06, 2009....
Unicorn....uhmm...just like you?...lol.......thank you for your words.
Heggie...definitely i keep at heart the saying "Fool me once, blame on you. Fool me twice blame on me.": ...or something like that....:-)
CW......yes, i know The law of Attraction.....the movie The Secret is based on it, as you surely know too....
I follow their theories only until they start to border in new ag-ism.
I do believe our thoughts have the ability to generate waves of energy, positive or negative, and in doing so affect our reaction to reality and how people react to us..
But i am not quite buying all that comes after this...like, if one thinks intensely about something (a job, a car, a love) they will have it...
But if its making feel good ....its good for you......:-)
Queenie.....oh, i know there is goodness in this world.......i see goodness in many comments that i read here in SC too ......when some of us asks for help and many run in support....I think its more a matter of attitude toward goodness..
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gingersoul said on Jul 06, 2009....
Beybey....you touch the core of the problem i think....expectations....
People often tells me i am difficult to please...in the meaning that i expect a lot from them....this is true but its also true i expect a lot from myself as well..
Sometime along the way i learned to lower my expectations and forgive my flaws and earn not to be that harsh with myself.
I think not having expectations in the majority of the situation helps in being more in the moment and not projecting too much in the future and in the false comfort that optimism gives to people..everything is going to be ok...well, why? How do you know?
Super......lol....yes , she is still alive....until the next time, ay least..
What you said is interesting, and in the end pretty true for me too...
The people i loved the most have been the one who hurt me and disappointed the most. But in reality strangers can't hurt us because we don't invest anything on them, nor love and no expectations either...
Its easy don't care about a stranger and taking everything good they might do to us with a smile.
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gingersoul said on Jul 06, 2009....
Above....thank you!....:-)
Ms.....yes, i think in the end there is an underlying hope that everybody is better than what they look or act...
Blah.....yours is one cheerful and respectful taking of the problem....keep having faith despite the failures and the disappointments...
Some people at one point give up, though....
Don't worry about the double comment.....SC is crazy like that sometimes...:-)
Soaring.......lol...i am so glad you like ginger cookies!....They are the best, i know!.....:-D
I am starting to believe that basically there is no a better or worse way...it's just the way it is....i dont see why i should be more optimistic and i don't even see why i should be more pessimistics....its the way i am...
I am pretty sure that i will not try any 10 online course for enhancing my way of coping with reality though......my pragmatic optimism or my unrealistic pessimism served me pretty good up to now, i have to say...:-).
I tend to agree with BeyBey...i don't even think i am that pessimistic, after all.
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CreativeWoman said on Jul 06, 2009....
ginger,
I don't make wishes. I do try to put out more positive thoughts than negative. I try to focus on being positive about the things I know I can change.
Sorry if I sounded pushy. I probably got completely off topic.
CW
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gingersoul said on Jul 06, 2009....
Grapey....yes, i knew you would have agreed with BeyBey too...:-)
Having expectations is also one of the mistakes men can do in undermining their efforts to reach the enlightenment of their soul, Buddha teaches...
Having expectations is another shape taken by desire, and Buddha said that desire is the worse enemy of men...
Fraggles....i bet she is happy too!....lol..
Lucy.....well,if you are not disappointed by the lack of goodness in people, consequentially you believe there is no goodness in them. So ....why you keep trying to be more optimistic, if you already know your efforts are going to be worthless?
Dying........well.... its what i call pragmatic optimist...so i agree...:-)
Wombie....i do the same....trying to do the rigth thing...its called Ethic and its a religion...lol..
At work we have been taking leadership classes lately. One of these lessons brought up the concept of being an example for your coworkers and be a positive person. One woman said she got really surprised when a cashier at the store took the effort and the time one day to run after a customer to give him the wallet he had forgotten at the counter. She said that was an example of an extraordinary action.
I argued that actually that should be considered an ordinary act, at least in a perfect world. And extraordinary would be anything different from that...
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gingersoul said on Jul 06, 2009....
CW.......absolutely no......are you kidding?
You were not pushy at all........you were simply explaining your point of view..
And i like have exchanges like this..
Maybe i have been the one too direct...as often i am...:-) -
beyondtheveil said on Jul 06, 2009....
soulgirl- "Life is so constructed that an event does not,
cannot, will not, match the expectation." Charlotte Bronte
Kind of the way I feel.
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eurekame said on Jul 12, 2009....
As my mama would say, "faith is everything"... -
gingersoul said on Jul 12, 2009....
BeyBey...how did i miss your comment? I apologize, my friend....
I agree with you even though i have to say i have been several times swept away by life's surprises ....the more unexpected they have been, the sweeter....:-).
Eureka.......faith be it for you, then....;-).
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