• pusscat said on Jul 03, 2009....

  Well for starters, if I read you typing again that you are pathetic I'll pop over there and put you over my knee - you're only a stones throw away my girl lol! 
  
  Oh, I know that feeling all too well with LDR.  I could write a War and Peace epic mail to my Sir and get a one or two liner mail back lol!  Thing is hun, D/s aside, the book is not called 'Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars' for nothing.  We really are a different species!  They think they are doing the right thing by saying, "have fun" bless em.  They want us to go out and have fun as they do feel a little guilty about us being on our own or spending long periods of time without them.  They are human (well, almost ;-) after all my sweet. 
  
  One thing I would notice about my Sir is that he wouldn't not always send a long mail back commenting on everything I said in my mail but I can assure you they take it ALL in.  They remember what we say and they and they use it all to help us and teach us how to grow.  Men have never seen the need to scrutinize everything and pass comment on every line as us women do. 
  
  The fact that you know he is staying somewhere other than home with his wife, is always going to be hard darling.  I would feel pretty much the same as you to be honest.  I often sit here giving out advice yet when do I take it myself lol?!  It's not being pathetic though.  We love and care and need our Sirs.  When we are under their command we feel that shows how much they care.  When the commands are few and far between we get insecure.  Everything negative goes through our heads.  Does this sound familiar hun?
  
  Being away from the internet??  OMG - end of the world!!  I'm not being leery either - that's how I felt when I had no laptop for a whole 24 hours when it was poorly.  Sheesh - just remembering it brings on a nervous tick lol!  Just remember how nice it will be when you get back home to your own pc though.  BTW, what mobile service are you on?  Thought I'd ask as I'm on Orange and I can access and reply to my e-mails via my mobile now.
  

• subo9 said on Jul 03, 2009....

  Pusscat, what would I do without you? (shaking in my shoes at the thought of you popping over to sort me out lol...thanks for making me smile!!)
  I'm so glad it's not just me! I write these long heartfelt emails, waiting with bated breath to see what he'll say about it...and get the likes of 'relax, live in the moment' in response! Sooo disappointing,
   
  I believe you are right when you say they remember what we write though. My Sir has repeated or commented on things I've said in an email during a phone call. Never for long enough to satisfy me though, I just want to talk and talk.
  I just love to write to him..well, I love to write about all this anyway, as you may have noticed! I supposed it's partly because I cant talk to anybody I know here about my relationship with him.
   
  One of my friends knows I have a sexual relationship with him when he visits and that he's married, and although she doesnt say much I know she doesnt approve. Imagine what she'd say if she knew the truth...we've talked about people in this kind of lifestyle and she's horrified by it.
   
  You're so right when you say we feel that they care when we're under their command...and when there's no commands? Oh dear, all those negative thoughts and doubts, so familiar, pusscat! I did actually email him saying I felt directionless and he emailed back saying he was letting me be free this weekend to have fun.
   
  That wasnt what I wanted to hear, of course. I wanted detailed instructions...I wanted his attention, I suppose and that's partly because he is spending this time with his wife. I'm just plain jealous. The fact that she's a stunner doen't help. He has told me she's not into sex much, but I find it hard to comprehend that a man like him, who's so intensely sexual, would be with someone who wasn't for 10 years, and he does really love her. Maybe he has had a lot of others..now i'm rambling.
   
  I'm the very same with the internet..cant be without it. Need my fix several times a day and as for compusively checking my email....well!
   
  I'm on O2 on my mobile but i dont have internet access on it. I could always give you my email address though.
  Thanks pusscat, think you've just saved my bacon again. Hope things are ok with you
  Hugs
   

• pusscat said on Jul 03, 2009....

  Glad I could help hun :-)
  
  Won't bore you with too many details but I guess the busier I keep myself the better.  You have a bloody good night tomorrow without worrying.  As my old dear departed dad used to say (been relaying a lot of his stuff lately?) your worries will still be there in the morning so make the night one hell of a night to remember ha ha!!
  

• sweetsoul said on Jul 03, 2009....

  pusscat you said it so much nicer than I was going to...but the gist is the same.
   
  Unfortunately, when we decide to have an affair with a married man, we need to learn to deal with the fact that we don't get to see them as often as we want and that we aren't the first priority in his life. A wife and sometimes kids come with him. My philosophy is I knew that going into the relationship. He never said he intended to leave his wife...in fact he was pretty clear about the fact that he wasn't. He was honest with what he was offering and what he wasn't...and when we choose to accept that, we need to learn to deal with it.
   
  I haven't been reading your posts, so I might be completely off base, but your profile says you're very new and a slave. That being the case, if you're feeling the need for more direction... it would be appropriate to talk to your Master at some point about this, if you haven't already. All Masters do not want to control their slave 24/7. After all, that's a pretty daunting task. Some are quite content to know that they could control all of your actions, but choose to be selective in what they actually control. In fact a number want a slave that is capable of making her own decisions and being independent because that provides more value to your submission.
   
  Talk to him. It's important that you understand what his needs are. If yours are different from his...he may decide to adapt but he's the Master, you're the slave...it's your job to adapt, not his. If you haven't already had a discussion about how he sees your relationship, it would be helpful to do so. That way you know what he expects of you and helps you prepare yourself to do what he wishes...or not (meaning lack of direction not disobeying him), as the case may be.
   
  As for the difference in communication styles...pusscat is right. It's a gender difference generally. Not much to do but get used to it, and be thankful when you do get longer emails. And trust me, if he's a good Master, he's reading your emails thoroughly.
   
  As for this weekend...did you ever think that maybe he's well aware of how you might be feeling, knowing he's away with his wife? That he truly does want you to go out and have fun with your friends because he doesn't want you home mopping, thinking about him? That it pleases him to think of you having fun, knowing you're capable of it without him? That he's doing what he thinks is best for you? Think about it.
   
  And bottom line...you're a slave...you're entitled to your feelings and opinions but you've agreed to let him own you. That means doing as he wishes...and sometimes that's not having him around...not following his directions. His call. If we've agreed to submit to him, he calls the shots. We submit to it.
   
  Sorry, told you puss cat said it nicer. :) While I'm well intentioned, I'm not quite as tactful.

• pusscat said on Jul 03, 2009....

  *pusscat waves at sweetsoul :-)*
  
  Here's me always in awe of sweetsoul and there she is flattering me and my analogies!!  Bless you sweetsoul - it's good to see you again anyway :-))
  
  Tell you what though that is so true what she says and I can say that I have said this to so many but only cos I have learned from other subs.  If I screw up in any way and my Sir gives me a punishment for it then that is the end of it.  Why?  Because, if we don't see it as the 'end of it' and insist on continuing with the punishing ourselves, we are actually insulting our Sirs by saying, your punishment isn't enough!  It's not enough to teach me a lesson.  What an insult!!  Comprende lol!
  
  It really is lovely to see you again sweetsoul :-)  I jope the world and it's treasures are treating you well?. . .  If not I'm a formidable apponent (sp ck) to anyone ha ha!
  

• subo9 said on Jul 03, 2009....

  Sweetsoul, you made a great point, something I never thought of..that he might be aware of how I'm feeling and truly want me to have fun. He knows i'm capable of enjoying myself without him and he says he wants me to have a happy, carefree life, to draw on his energy and lean on him. But that comes at a price, I've become dependant on him. If he doesn't email I slump.
   
  I've never expressed any jealousy and have listened to him talk of his wife, let him show me her photo without batting an eylash (outwardly).
   
  But he's very sharp and very perceptive, he must know that I feel the difference between her status and mine and envy her. She's his equal, they're a team. He made it perfectly plain, just as your master did, that he has no intentions of ever leaving her. I think he will stay with me as long as it pleases him to, but he also made it perfectly clear that he does as he pleases and no one questions him.He has what's almost a set speech about this that he's repeated to me several times.
   
  Then he says he wants to be always my friend, always in my life. Confusing!
   
  But we've made our choices. I guess I just didnt realise how difficult the combination of long distance and married would be, but if I want him, then I have to accept. As you say, I'm the slave, it's his will and his call.
   
  But I need to have that conversation with him, I'm just getting snippets of what he expects, a little at a time, but there's been no discussion of the future, what I can and cant do in terms of seeing other people etc, I'll try to talk with him when he's here.
  Thanks so much sweetsoul..lovely name!
  pusscat..you bet I'll have a bloody good night. With a few vodkas down me I'll forget all this till the morning!!
  hugs to you.

• sweetsoul said on Jul 03, 2009....

  *waves back at pusscat*
   
  You're making me blush pusscat...but thank you.
   
  I read much more than I post. Don't know why, but I feel more comfortable as a lurker most of the time. And god forbid I actually start a thread...I almost give MissMimi a heart attack every time I do. :D
   
  Life is great, thank you. I don't need defending at the moment. *smiles* Hope things are looking better for you.
   
  I can't speak from experience about punishment. I keep reminding sir that he doesn't need to find a reason to punish me...he can do what he wants with me, just because he wants to. This wicked smile comes across his face and he agrees. That's when I remind myself that I have to remember sometimes it's better to shut up. Of course I usually voice that too and then he laughs with me. :D
   
   

• sweetsoul said on Jul 03, 2009....

  subo9 please read my reply in your other blog. I didn't realize the circumstances under which you agreed to be a slave or that you were not only inexperienced but to a large degree unfamiliar with what a M/s (Master/slave) relationship consists of.
   
  It's certainly not my call, but if I was in your shoes, I'd be having a discussion that I entered into a M/s relationship without fully understanding the ramifications...asking his forgiveness...but saying that I needed time to educate myself better about BDSM, M/s relationships in general and what he expects of a M/s relationship specifically. Only then could I properly decide if I was able to enter into a M/s relationship with him. Whether I could please him. Whether I was able to be a slave to anyone, let alone to him.
   
  You can still submit to him sexually when he's personally with you.
   
  My name...thank you...an ex-lover gave me this name. Others seem to think it fits, so I've kept it.

• marie5 said on Jul 03, 2009....

  The reason your feeling this way is you are not in a healthy relationship. He is married for one. Let him go. You don't need that relationship to be happy. Be honest with yourself. If he's giving  you short answers and again.... he's married, he doesn't really love you. If this is something he does regularly he can't possibly know what love is. If you want to be happy make a list of the things you love about yourself. Start there and find someone who loves you for all those things and all your flaws. Love yourself first!!! This relationship will always be a roller coaster.

• cuppajava said on Jul 04, 2009....

  so i see you were paying attention after all PC?

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