queenparanoia's tags:

where do i begin with this rant???

i know people get tired reading of me complaining but hey it's my blog and i need to release this...

i feel like in my life right now, that everytime i take a step forward... life knocked me down two steps behind...

i know it's all part of life but sometimes i get tired of it...

for example, when i'm finally starting to earn money from this barbecue thing... shit happens...

they still havent open the gate yet for that school. they only open it at 5-7 pm...

which means i lose most of my customers... (most of my customers are students and they had their break between 3-5 pm) and they can't go out anymore because the university/hospital now closes the gates at 7am to 5 pm. then close it again at 7 pm.

this really sucks...

it's not only affecting me but all of the vendors...

well that's business... and it sucks...

seriously i dont know if i can make it through the business world...

i know the abilities to be succesful but the negativity of it is too much too handle...

for example i dont like the gosspis, the backstab, the fucking intrigues...

i dont like it that people talk behind my back. and some cases i actually can hear them.

i dont like that people presume i have a lot of money just because i ran my own fucking business. it's really hard for me to say no to some people when they asked money from me (like my siblings) but what can i do??? i dont earn much now...

i don't like it when people take advantage of me. yes some people here do. and sometimes i can't do anything about it. i hate it when dealing with business you have to deal and be careful with people's emotions too.

as i go through this i learn a lot about myself...

i learn my weaknesses, my strengths, my limits, my capabilities through this barbecue thing...

i have learned i can stay up until 2 am in the morning and wake up at 5am to go the market...

i have learned i can stand in the cold rain for 7 hours while handling a hot grill...

i have learned i can move fast if people would just go out of my way...

i have learned i can be bitchy if people would not let me do my job...

i have learned i'm not very good at adding numbers in my head (i'm so used of using the calculator in college).

i have learned that this is the hardest job i have ever done and i'm enjoying it...

i belong to the culinary world... and no matter how small this is, it is my stepping stone to what i want...

for now my solution is to move to anotehr location. (which is hard to do becuase it took months to find the location that i have now) i just hope i find a better one...

or better yet i hope they changed their mind and opened up the damn gates...

or most better i hope i have money enough to put my plans into action...

well my plans are in action... just a slow one...

oh well... that's life...

i feel much better now that i have let this out...

writing it out makes me feel better because nwo i can read it and reflect on it...

i know things would turn around... things would be better...

i just hope it would soon...

 

 

kepp on blogging!!!

p.s.

i havent done boxing in a few days... well, i dont have much time like i use to and i got tired now becuase of this barbecue thing... and i'm emotionally eating again... i really need to control myself regarding about this... would not let stress ruin my plans for a healthier, sexier body... lol...



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Comments

  • uniquely-ironic said on Jul 01, 2009....
    some of life's lessons are not too fun to learn.  Sounds like you're handling it well though.
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 01, 2009....
    uniquely: thanks uni. i'm handling it better because i know i have some support from the people that i love. it still sucks though...
  • moonriver said on Jul 01, 2009....
    queenie, the hospital cannot be closed to the public, right?
    and the university shares a common campus with the hospital, right?
    so maybe you should consider a secret, pro-active strategy of having your assistant (or you) bring in a batch of barbecues and other goodies into the hospital/university grounds, like a guerrilla peddler.
    i've seen this strategy succeed, especially if you're the only indie food vendor inside...  :-)
    oh, i know there will be some hassles and loose ends in this approach, but i know you street-wise pinays will always have a way to go around 'em... ;-p

  • queenparanoia said on Jul 01, 2009....
    moonriver: well ive been thinking about that but the problem is there is a security guard inside.. and like what i said it was stupid to close the gate... apparantly the canteen of that hospital/school is losing business to us thats why they closed the gate... is it our fault that our food is cheaper and more delicious??? will send you a pm...
  • Hegemone said on Jul 01, 2009....
    Well at the end of it all, while it's hard and some of it sucks, it sounds like you're taking it in stride and not letting it get you down, and that makes me happy for you Queenie.  You're a strong woman.  I hope that everything works out for you and that either they open the gates again or you find an even more remarkable spot to set up in.  The world has mysterious ways of working, maybe this will be another stepping stone to something better.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for that anyway.
  • UnicornForm said on Jul 01, 2009....
    oh i know how you feel, resist the munchie monsters! they will beat u up later on after the 5 minute enjoyment i know.  Try and stregthen your mind with a different approach than ussuall it helps sometimes....hope it helps but never the less i wish you best!
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 01, 2009....

    hegemone: that's what i keep thinking hegemone... maybe something better would be out there for me... well let's just hope so... ;-)

    unicornform: thank you... :-)

  • wombat said on Jul 02, 2009....
    I'm sorry about the set-back, but I was happy to read the part where you said you were enjoying it, in spite of the hard work.  You know I have come to really respect and admire you for your determination and positive outlook that is always there with you, no matter what.  I will be crossing my fingers for your business to not only get better, but easier, too.  You deserve it!
     
    (and I can't add in my head, either!)
  • MsStar39 said on Jul 02, 2009....
    Queenie you are so strong and I know that you are going to make it in spite of all the obstacles, 
  • wishyouwerehere said on Jul 02, 2009....
    Unfortunately, Queenie - there are always people who will gossip and backstab, both in and out of the business world.  Stand your ground, be proud of who you are, and don't let anyone bring you down.  I love how you are using your smarts and your talents for something you enjoy.  I hope the campus changes its mind about opening the gates.  Maybe the students can start a movement.  The food at our campus sucks ass and is very expensive.  If they ever locked us in during breaks, I would probably lose a lot of weight (perhaps not a bad thing .... LOL)
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 02, 2009....

    wombat: thank you wombie... i dont know how admirable i can be... i'm doing what a normal person is doing and that is earning a living... what i'm doing is just a normal scenario in my country... thank you for your words though... ;-)

    msstar: thank you... :-)

    wishyouwerehere: you know thats the main reason why they locked the gates! because no one is buying in their canteen... is it our fault that their canteen is so expensive??? well i hope they changed their minds most of my loyal customers are student...

  • cuppajava said on Jul 02, 2009....
    Hi QP - i think i am with wishy on this one - just stick at it,and it will get better in the long run - its a cut throat business that you are in - it comes with the job - but you seem to be handling it well
  • destinydiva said on Jul 02, 2009....
    queenyP, I know this post was a rant, but I tell ya, your such an inspiration!!  you know what your dream is, never stop believing in it ..or yourself!! xxx
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 02, 2009....

    cuppajava: thank you cj... it's hard but i'm trying hard to keep working hard... ;-)

    destinydiva: thank you destiny!!! that's a very nice  thing to say... ;-)

  • gingersoul said on Jul 02, 2009....
    Queenie....as i see it...you are lucky to have discovered so passionately that you belong to a professional field at so young age....
    .
    Now you have all your life in front of you to get better, bigger and successful.
    And you will make it...:-)
  • queenparanoia said on Jul 03, 2009....
    ginger: i know i will... thanks gingerbabe... ;-)

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