where do i begin with this rant???
i know people get tired reading of me complaining but hey it's my blog and i need to release this...
i feel like in my life right now, that everytime i take a step forward... life knocked me down two steps behind...
i know it's all part of life but sometimes i get tired of it...
for example, when i'm finally starting to earn money from this barbecue thing... shit happens...
they still havent open the gate yet for that school. they only open it at 5-7 pm...
which means i lose most of my customers... (most of my customers are students and they had their break between 3-5 pm) and they can't go out anymore because the university/hospital now closes the gates at 7am to 5 pm. then close it again at 7 pm.
this really sucks...
it's not only affecting me but all of the vendors...
well that's business... and it sucks...
seriously i dont know if i can make it through the business world...
i know the abilities to be succesful but the negativity of it is too much too handle...
for example i dont like the gosspis, the backstab, the fucking intrigues...
i dont like it that people talk behind my back. and some cases i actually can hear them.
i dont like that people presume i have a lot of money just because i ran my own fucking business. it's really hard for me to say no to some people when they asked money from me (like my siblings) but what can i do??? i dont earn much now...
i don't like it when people take advantage of me. yes some people here do. and sometimes i can't do anything about it. i hate it when dealing with business you have to deal and be careful with people's emotions too.
as i go through this i learn a lot about myself...
i learn my weaknesses, my strengths, my limits, my capabilities through this barbecue thing...
i have learned i can stay up until 2 am in the morning and wake up at 5am to go the market...
i have learned i can stand in the cold rain for 7 hours while handling a hot grill...
i have learned i can move fast if people would just go out of my way...
i have learned i can be bitchy if people would not let me do my job...
i have learned i'm not very good at adding numbers in my head (i'm so used of using the calculator in college).
i have learned that this is the hardest job i have ever done and i'm enjoying it...
i belong to the culinary world... and no matter how small this is, it is my stepping stone to what i want...
for now my solution is to move to anotehr location. (which is hard to do becuase it took months to find the location that i have now) i just hope i find a better one...
or better yet i hope they changed their mind and opened up the damn gates...
or most better i hope i have money enough to put my plans into action...
well my plans are in action... just a slow one...
oh well... that's life...
i feel much better now that i have let this out...
writing it out makes me feel better because nwo i can read it and reflect on it...
i know things would turn around... things would be better...
i just hope it would soon...
kepp on blogging!!!
p.s.
i havent done boxing in a few days... well, i dont have much time like i use to and i got tired now becuase of this barbecue thing... and i'm emotionally eating again... i really need to control myself regarding about this... would not let stress ruin my plans for a healthier, sexier body... lol...



