Let's start a basic religion 101:

 The race:

Thousands of years ago, when people used to belive that there are many gods controling human lives, based on their own human like personalities, there was a man, called Abraham, who realised and deeply believed that there is one and only one higher power, that is above human nature, who is the sole creator of our universe and everything in it. God recognised Abraham for his faith, and after successfully testing him by asking him to sacrifice his own son, he blessed Abraham and his children, and their children, and all their children... A covenant was made between God and Abraham, who became the first prophet of the one and only God, and with him started the blood line of the Jewish people.  As the years went by Abraham's people started to learn more and more about the will of the one God, who gave them a way of life: rules that changed almost every aspects of these people's lives: let it be diet or social behaviour or spiritual growth, the Jewish people now lived by their own religion.

The religion:

There is a huge difference between being Jewish, and the religion itself. One can only be Jewish if he/she was born ito the original family of Abraham. The Jewish religion is the actual statement, that's most important issue it to belive in the one and only God and that the rules and regulations given by the Jews were there to show the people all around the world how God would want us to behave in order to clear ourselves of sins. For some reason the Jews beleive that only a Jewish mother's child can be born Jewish and the father is not at all relevant. People try to came up with good reasons for this, as most of the other main religions are male dominant, and even the Jewish religion itself gives more responsibility and power to it's male members. Some say it was simply easier to tell who the mother was, so people just went for the only sure thing that could be told about a child's parents at the time. Some other people relate this issue to the mirracle of the female body that is able to "create" another lving creature of it's own appearance. Today's technology only proves the fact that while the male reproductive cell has only 22 chromosomes, the female reproductive cell has the other 22 chromosomes AND everything else reproduction requires. Not to mention, of course, the nature of the faemale body. ANYWAY, the dry fact is that one can only belong to the Jewish blood line (call it race) if his/her mother is Jewish.

The confusion:

Now the above of course will only explain the basics of the Jewish religion and it's begining. I guess for thousands of years Jews as well as other nations only married among themselves, so there must have been only a few confused children. But especially after WWII, when Jews were hunted and murdered all over East Europe, many of the survivors came back with fear and shame. Many of their children did not want to be different than other people, just wanted t live their lives as other members of the country they were born into. Non Jewish people wanted to forget about the horrific theory of religion or race based murders, and became more accepting of the idea of living together with the returning Jews, especially when none of the parties really wanted to create a religion based issue to devide their countrie's people. This is how so many mixed marriages happen all over East Europe, and this is the main reason  why there are so many confused children in today's generation.

The country:

WWII also lead to another historical mile stone: the creation of the State of Israel. The world's political leaders all agreed that it is time the Jewish people finnaly get a piece of land they can live on with no fear of being hunted and killed. The question was, however, how to decide if one is Jewish and has the legal right to became a lawful citizen of the newly created country. Will this be based on a religion based idea of the Jewish mother? Will we leave all those people of mixed marriages behind to belong nowhere, to be a target of racist discrimination because their father or grand parents were Jewish? No, that could not be a solution. In 1948 the law only required one Jewish grandparent to be proved for a person who wanted to immigrate to Israel. It was based on the hunting theory of the natzis. Today, when so many non-Jewish people fleed this country with fake papers just to get the benefits of a new start in life, the State of Israel created laws of stronger inspetcations, and decided that it must be one biologigal parent to be proved Jewish before one can immigrate.

Still, this country is full of people who have all their legal rights to be Israeli citizens based on their Jewish father, yet absolutely no religious rights because of the lack of the Jewish mother. Israel is a religion based country celebrating Jewish holidays, allowing only Jewish marriages, etc...

The war:

There is an ongoing war in Israel due to the location of this newly created country. This land used to no one's. There was no country here before 1948. There people who lived here were of both Jewish and arab haritage. When this land was granted to the Jewsh by the NATO, the people who actually lived here were never asked, as they never had one leadership or one leader to represent them. When the Jews moved in, and created a Jewish country, the non-Jewish people wanted non of it and decleared  war on us. I really don't know if it could have been possible to live in peace with the arabs in Israel, and I am not even sure if they are not right to fight for the land they live on. Yes, we have religious history, and yes, we also have political rights to be here, and yes, I do beleive that we need to fight for our country. I could write about what was done and said thoughout the history of this country, but really it would not change the fact that Jewish people in Israel do not engage in more than neighborly relationship with the arab people living here.  That is the biggest no-no here, no matter how intelligent and free mindid people are around the world. Only the non-Jewish Russian girls, who are here on faked birth certificates, and couldn't be prouder of their non-Jewish life style would actually go out with an arab, and since most arab girls are very conservative, arab guys love the sexually open and easy Russian girls. Sadly, many Jewish Israeli men also rather go gor there girls, but that is a whole other subject to blog about. However, a proud Jewish Israeli would never go out with an arab, and that is that.

My experience:

I am a product of a mixed marriage. My father is Jewish, but my mother was catholic, and in my bitht country my family was "the Jewihs family of the neighborhod". We have one of the most common and respected Jewish family name that exists among the Eastern Europian Jews, and my brothers and I fit all the typicals -  phisical and behavioral of the Jewish stereotype. None of us ever went to a church nor did we receive religious education of any kind. We lived like any other family around us. Out of the three of us, I was the only one becoming interested in the Jewish religion, and as many other children all around East Europe I was one of the growing number of newly-proud Jewish youth and Jewish identity. Jewish schools and Jewish synagouges started to activate this new generation Jewish identity, and a powerful wave of immigratns hoped to start a new life in a country where being Jewish is not a crime. I was one of these people. But when I came here I only learned that I am just as a stranger here as i was in my birht country. Now I am one of those people who live in Israel and preferes to lie about my own mother, because she was NOT Jewish. I could convert to Judaism and live an orthodox Jewwish life style, but to me, it would be a lie. I beleive in the Jewish religion, but I disagree with the orthodox Jews. I know I am not alone in this counrty with my problem, but no one really talks about it. I didn't even tell my own son yet, because I don't want to confuse him. We live like any other family around us, celebrating Jewish holidays, living a traditional but not orthodox Jewish life style. My boyfriend and I are going out for about four months now. He is far the best guy I ever dated. After about a month and a half into our relationship, when we saw that things are getting serious, he told me that he is from an arab christian family, and that he would understand if I'd left him. I was shocked, as he looks and behaves just like any other guy I know here in Israel. He doesn't have the heavy accent, all his friends are Jewish, and there were no signs for me to even assume that a red light should be on. It was very important for him to make a point that his family are NOT muslims, therefore I shouldn't look at him as "the enemy". He tried to underline how different the arab christians from the ara muslims, and that they only share a common language. I was amazed how serious he was about all this, when to me, and to most people I know, and arab is an arab, and that is it.

His story is a littile different though. He fell in love with a Jewish girl when he was younger, and after both their families disconnected from them he decided to convert to Judaism. He did it the orthodox way, which means that he lived as an orthodox Jew for about two years and completed an orthodox  conversion - the only king the Rabbanate recognises. Once a person converts this way, he\se is a part of the Jewish covenant, and will be recognised as a Jew for the rest of his\her life. Of course once a person does this huge step, it is required to continiue with an orthodox Jewish life style, but most people just get the conversion for the paperwork and live their lives as they did before. This is the reason I could never do this - I belive in this stuff way too deeply to just take it all on me, but not live up to it. But that's just me. My boyfriend converted and got married, and even cut all relations with his family or the arab friends he used to have. For five  years while he was married, he lived his life this way. They even had a child together. But after the divorce my boyfriend found his way back to his family, who were more than happy to take him back in again, hoping he will one day wake up, and just be normal. But he never did. He continued to date Jewish girls, and kept being friends with only Jewish people. He would not participate in the christian holidays or practices with his family, and he celebrates the Jewish holidays with his Jewish friends. Due to all this I felt I should have no reason to separate from him.

But I have no family here, in Israel, and I do want to have a good relationship with my mate's family. I love this guy and want to marry him one day. I want to have children, and I want all this very soon as I am not getting any younger either. We are both over 30 and both divorced, so we really know what we want by now. His family were happy to hear that I am not from a Jewis mother. To them I can convert to christianity any time and make their dreams come true. To me, and to my boyfriend, this will NEVER be an option. His family would not understand that my boyfriend is now more of a Jew in the eyes of the Rabbanut that I am, since he converted, but I still didn't. It would be very hard to explain to them why and how I feel so strongly about my Jewish identity. Even my own boyfriend tells me that "I am not even Jewish" whenever we start talking about this. It is very hurtful, an extremly sensitive issue, and it sounds extreme especially from his mouth. the funny thing is, that I really like his family. I know there is no way I woul ever got to know these people if my boyfreind would not sell himself as a Jewish Israeli from the begining. I wouldn't want to get to know them, I wouldn't have the oppurtinity, and I would never even think about the possibility. But we are here, in this weird situation, and if I thought I had identity issues untill now, well, this really pushed all expectations. His mother already told me that as far as she sees it, I am only here for a short period of her son's life before they'll manage to marry him with a nice arab christian girl. OR I can convert and the whole family will help and support us. My boyfriend basically tells her that if he married without his family once, he can repeat that any time, he has no problem if none of his family will show up on our wedding. I know that if we go ahead and get married, that will be the end of our relationship with his family.

And I am not sure if that is such a bad thing in this country. My 10 years old son already doesn't want to eat in my boyfriend's parents' house beacuse they are arabs. Interestingly enough, my ex husband is happily married to a non-Jewish American wonan in the US, and my son loves spending his time in the rich and happy American family. He loves eating beacon there, and would love to be able to celebrate Christmass with them too. But the simple fact that these people are arab, makes him not want to eat their food. I expained to him a million times about the whole religion and political connections and all, but my son is a real Israeli child, living and breathing the Israeli culture. Not old enough to really understand the religious what and how, just knows that we should not mix with arab people. To him it is simple as that. To me, it is just a sad example of how religion, race or politics can create hate and discrimination among and against people. Now more than ever I wish these things wouldn't be important at all, and Israel would finally allow legal court marriages in this country, so I would not have to fight against who I am proud to be ever single day I am with my boyfriend arguing with his family about religious issues when I know I am not even recognised as a Jew in this country. What a hypocrate I am !!! How easy would it be to go ahead and have a catholic wedding, satisfying the whole family! But than how would I explaing that to myson? How would I explain almost two decades of my life to my self and to my family? But mostly, would that mean that I beleive in Jesus as a Massaiah, and no longer beleive in the Jewish ways? I DON'T THINK SO........

Does all this really matter?

Yes, I beleive it does. I beleive that we should keep this country under religious rules, so mixed marieges could be at least kept under control, and people in this country would have a strong tradintional value to follow. When so many Russian live and behave non-Jewish Russians, not even wanting to learn Hebrew just because there are so many of them that they don't need to - yes, we must have a way of keeping this country for ourselves. When arabs live their lives in this country fighting against us - yes, we should fight back in every way we can, and make sure there always will be a country where a Jew can go home to in case of war and racist hunts.

When I put all my feelings aside, I know the best for us would be if I'd complete the conversion, even a reform one, and have a Jewish wedding, leading a traditional Jewish life style. If his family doesn't want a part of it, so let it be. I know the only reason I am still with this man is that he did convert and the fact that he is not muslim also very important in today's political light. I understand the conflict children of mixed marriages go thrugh. But as an intelligent human being... I just don't see why we cannot simply love each other, and trust that God will bless our unity no matter what. Religion should teach us exactly that. Religion should teach us to love each other, and to care about being good people, and not about being good members of a man created religious group.

I even thought about having a catholic wedding just to make his family happy, but than go ahead and marry in a reform synagouge after my reform converson, and live our lives respecting his family, but leading a Jewish life style in our homes. Since I do not beleive in catholism, I really wouldn't care to do this, but I just know, this would only create anger and more argueing from his family's side.

Religion should be a personal issue. People should be able to live their lives as they please as long as they respect others. I guess this can never happen in a religion based country that has an ongoing war between it's people........