almost the end of june now. my birthday is 6 days from now. am not sure i like that but no choice  really. i didnt want a fuss. all i want to do is hide under the blankets for a couple of days. i will be 48 and i am unemployed yet again. some days i feel like such a loser at life. i try and try and never seem to get anywhere.  the idea of looking for work sends me into a panic attack. i might even stop my vollunteer work. seems the new manager is an idiot and the only reason he was hired is cause hes a jesus freak. the new major is getting on my nerves. no one paid any attention to what i was doing for yrs, now all of a sudden i am a hot property so to speak and the major has decided how she wants the books......get this.......horizontal on the shelves. told the manager that they are not going to sell that way. he has no balls and wont go against the major. so i am stuck with no shelve space because of the way she has things.  so am debating if i should even go back. they have no one else who can do my job or understands what i do.maybe they need me not to be there for a while to just leave me alone to do what i do.....and dont fuck with the system.

 

my youngest sons gf has had an abortion. she told him she was going to visit friends but all of a sudden the baby is gone and no real explaination. he is upset for sure and is back home for good he says.

 

the last few days i have been moving stuff out of my room to the basement. most of it books. have to get it as clear as possible in order to take the bed apart. god knows i will miss that bed so much. guess i am dragging my feet a bit on that part. bought all the shelving for the books. am sure i can put them together somehow. have to also pick a paint colour too . am going to paint the wall before i put the shelves in. am on the look out for a new desk,and chair. i want to be able to set up my sewing machine and have room to work with out it having to come down. i can get back into making dolls again too. i have enough fabric etc that i could make some more. have found some more patterns i can use as well to make clothes.   that is some weeks down the road however .  will be sometime before i am all set up again. will also need a phone jack. for when i move my computer to the other side of the room. 

 

 

started a new blanket. more like a bedspread. its a good take along project so i can work on it in the car.