I know He can't be here when i get home but still it hurts that He's not. He said i'd know that i was loved when i got home..but how, when
Somehow all that He said while i was gone made me believe in a miracle.but i guess its just reality. i should have realized reality. i shouldn't be hurt.. but it hurts. i somehow forget to have sympathy, forget that things are moving forward
my biggest fear...dear Sir, is that these little heartbreaks also break my faith.
I have to be prepared for these times alone.. not get over excited reading into your words and thinking that You are free to act on all Your feelings. I have to put up that protection and that is a barrier.
Maybe if we had discussed more about when and where we would see each other and not just how much we missed each other and what was going to happen as soon as we did...
Maybe if i knew You wanted to be here but couldn't.. i guess i did, but when i said my cat would welcome me home... well wasn't i right? You said "oh great i rank second behind the cat" ..like i had a choice
i don't know.. i wish too much and now i'm disappointed and kinda mad that its still the same. Despite the intentions, despite the words, the situation is going to be the same for a long time.
How do i prepare for these moments of heartache while waiting for and trusting in the future when i come before the cat?
DaddysLittleSlut posted on Jun 26, 2009
| views: 260
Comments
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pusscat said on Jun 26, 2009....
Oh hun. May sound cliche but cliche or not what you need right now is a bloody great big hug!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( DLS )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I know there have been so many times when the being alone in your home, when they're not there to just cuddle up to or smile at us, or pat us on the head, ANYTHING that says, "I'm here and I love and want and need you", drives us to despair. Just remember darling that you are loved and cared for by both of them. Our world is often far from ideal. Then again hun, there are those who always have their 'one' waiting for them when they get home and they still don't have the life, the love, the trust and the respect that you have. Never doubt yourself ever!! They are with you in this lifestyle because they WANT to be. You're a special lady so that doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
Sure wish I could give you a proper hug though instead of a silly cyber one.
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DaddysLittleSlut said on Jun 26, 2009....
Thanks PC.. you're right.. I am sucking into feeling sorry for myself when I should be grateful for what i have.He is a wonderful man and i love Him. -
sg138 said on Jun 26, 2009....
I am here for you , and always will be -
pusscat said on Jun 26, 2009....
I know it's hard when they can't always be with us directly. Hey, we all have that feeling sorry for ourselves now and then. I think we all deserve it now and again too - you know - a time to just wallow in it for a while, have a cry, feel maudling, it does us good!
Let this man love you as he knows how darling. We can compare all we like but that is so hard on the one we are with! He wants to love you, maybe not always being there is not the be all and end all of things. To have that love, even briefly now and then, is by far better in my books than the life partner who really doesn't get me at all, ever! I know you understand this hun :-))
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onlymimi said on Jun 27, 2009....
To have that love, even briefly now and then, is by far better in my books than the life partner who really doesn't get me at all, ever!Yes, yes, yes. No truer words. I also have insecurities and doubts that occasionally get the better of me. I know I am in my Master's heart -- I just wish he would say it more often. And when he's out of touch, as he will be for the next week, I have to work hard to keep those insecurities from being blown way out of proportion. <sigh> it's a struggle.I wish I had some great wisdom about this. All I can offer is understanding and sympathy. {{{hugs}}} -
DaddysLittleSlut said on Jul 06, 2009....
M1.. is so funny. He knows me so damn well.
He texts me telling me he's been reading my blogs and glad i have M2 to take care of me then asks.. "Why were you so hurt the other day?"
I text Him that i came home to an empty house after M2 said i would be feeling so loved and i though He might be there.
I receive this reply..
"So you assumed something without checking and got your feelings hurt when it didn't turn out the way u had assumed?"
shoot, i all i could say was "Yes Sir, exactly. But i vented and it was over."
That's my Daddy
Sorry i gave you a hard time M2.
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sg138 said on Jul 06, 2009....
not as hard as to what I give you
Comment on "Little moments that break my heart"
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