I know He can't be here when i get home but still it hurts that He's not. He said i'd know that i was loved when i got home..but how, when
Somehow all that He said while i was gone made me believe in a miracle.but i guess its just reality. i should have realized reality. i shouldn't be hurt.. but it hurts. i somehow forget to have sympathy, forget that things are moving forward
my biggest fear...dear Sir, is that these little heartbreaks also break my faith.
I have to be prepared for these times alone.. not get over excited reading into your words and thinking that You are free to act on all Your feelings. I have to put up that protection and that is a barrier.
Maybe if we had discussed more about when and where we would see each other and not just how much we missed each other and what was going to happen as soon as we did...
Maybe if i knew You wanted to be here but couldn't.. i guess i did, but when i said my cat would welcome me home... well wasn't i right? You said "oh great i rank second behind the cat" ..like i had a choice
i don't know.. i wish too much and now i'm disappointed and kinda mad that its still the same. Despite the intentions, despite the words, the situation is going to be the same for a long time.
How do i prepare for these moments of heartache while waiting for and trusting in the future when i come before the cat?



