Please give me the strength to NOT throw my husband out of the bed by his fuckin' pinky toe. I don't think he'd like it, but he won't stop jabbing his elbows into my side ... or temple. He also keeps pitching his legs or knock knees over into me also. After the day I've had ... this is not the night for him to be flailing around. I know he's sleeping and can't help it. But I'm pissy and can only take so much.
Please please please protect him from an unexpected flight to the floor. He doesn't even have a parachute.
If he does go to the floor ... make it a soft landing ... or at least stop him from hitting the wall first. I do not feel like explaing to my fuck face of a dad why there is a husband shaped hole in the wall.
Please?
P.S. - Yes guys, you can laugh.
Hegemone posted on Jun 24, 2009
| views: 86
Comments
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CayenneMan said on Jun 25, 2009....
Maybe you should hold onto him tight. Keep him in a headlock ? I've yet to hear that complaint and I doubt I ever will. I saw a commercial the other day , it was about "Gorilla Glue", it's suppose to be some mighty strong stuff ? Good luck and I wasn't hinting for you to glue him to the side of a Greyhound Bus either. -
uniquely-ironic said on Jun 25, 2009....
LOL I only laugh because I've had partners who made sleeping a wrestling match. I never did figure it out. Most of the time I'd kick myself out to the couch where at least it was safe. -
lfbno7 said on Jun 25, 2009....
maybe you should get some rope and tie him up, tie his arms close to his body, ties his legs together or something. hey, i have an idea, handcuff him to the bed and tell him it was a sex thing, he'll be happy about it. he wakes up every morning handcuffed to the bed and you tell him he is irresistible, you just have to use him in his sleep, he'll be fine with it and you'll get a good night's sleep. -
alabamagirl said on Jun 25, 2009....
Dear God, please give Hegemone the strength she needs not to bitch slap her husband, and if she does please give him the amount of melatonin in his body to sleep through it. Thank You. - Amen -
PAPARAZZI said on Jun 25, 2009....
Wll you ever divorce? -
pusscat said on Jun 25, 2009....
Ha ha ha ha!
Usually with funny posts I quote the part that made me particularly laugh the most. Couldn't do it with this one hun as every part of it made me laugh my friggin' ass off!!!!
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darkerthanlight said on Jun 25, 2009....
Shit, just poke him back. LOL. No seriously, if he's really abusing you unintentionally while ya'll are trying to sleep, tell him to go to the couch. (That's what I would do. Either that or I'd go to the couch.) -
Hegemone said on Jun 25, 2009....
CM - Hmm, no, I wouldn't glue him to a bus ... but I could glue him to the wall, lmao. Wouldn't that be a position to wake up in!
Uni - I've slept on the floor before when I've gotten absolutely sick of it, last night though ... I was determined to win, lol.
Lfb - You might be on to something there. He he, and it'd be easy enough just to tell him something had happened too ... he sleeps so heavily that there have literally been times that he's initiated sex and nearly gotten to doing the main event before he actually knows what's going on. I wouldn't do that though ... or would I? The world may never know.
Alabama - Thank you! Lol.
Paparazzi - That's for the future to know and me to find out, but so far I'm not thinking so ... especially not over him flailing around in his sleep, not like he can help it!
PC - Lol glad you enjoyed. It was kind of my 'OK, I've been pissed, I need to laugh and make this funny' post.
DTL - I usually just fling whatever appendage has leared at me back to his side of the bed. Eventually it bothers him enough that he rolls over and stops doing it.
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diabolicdame said on Jun 25, 2009....
LOL.. hehehe.. I think you should tie him in a fixed position to the bed! lol.. atlest he wont fall.. hehehe.. hope you're feelin better hege! :-) -
Hegemone said on Jun 26, 2009....
DD - Heh, yeah I'm a little bit better, I'm at work and not at home, so that may be to blame. At least he finally quit thrashing around though!
Comment on "Give Me Strength"
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