“I’m going to kill you, the bitch, and then myself!” a man screamed as he approached me.
Prior to this moment, I had been on routine patrol in an area not far from the man’s girlfriend’s house. It took only about a minute or less for me to get there.
Throughout the week leading up to this event, police officers had been called to this woman’s home several times for domestic disputes, and reports of a depressed and suicidal man.
Several recent Soulcast posts have been written about depression, and its effects on the depressed person, as well as their families, friends, and coworkers. These posts have reminded me of some of the more severe cases of depression that I have dealt with, and the tragic results that have followed them. This particular post does not end in tragedy, but is one that came very close, and especially hits home with me.
It is common knowledge that many people are depressed today. Some of them do something about their depression, such as seek professional treatment. Others do nothing about it, and still others think that they can cure or escape their problems by taking illegal drugs or drinking to excess.
Sometimes depressed people have gone on like this for long periods of time. Some people seem to drive themselves insane with it. Others tolerate it for what seems like a short time to us, but then escape through the suicide route.
Occasionally, and especially when they are under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, one of these people will become desperate, and out of their desperation, will make an erratic and senseless decision. This is a decision that cannot be undone.
A case in point is the man and woman above. It was a Friday night when I got the domestic dispute call. The dispatcher advised me that a man was threatening to kill his girlfriend. I knew where the house was and who the participants were because of the previous calls during the week and because of the man’s criminal past.
When I arrived on the scene somewhere between 11:30pm and 12:30am, and pulled up to the house next to the girlfriend’s house, I could hear screaming coming from the house of the girlfriend. I got out of the car and neither the man nor his girlfriend had acknowledged my presence. The fighting between them and the threats continued.
As I approached them, I yelled, “What’s the problem?” to get their attention and temporarily stop the fight. The man charged at me while screaming, “I’m going to kill you, the bitch, and then myself!”
He immediately went for my service weapon in an attempt to disarm me. A violent struggle for the weapon ensued. Using the methods and tactics that my police academy training had taught me seemed fruitless. The man was a lot bigger and stronger than I was. It took every once of strength and concentration that I had, to maintain control of my weapon.
As the struggle continued, the man continued to scream things that were not understandable. A second officer arrived and ran up to us slamming his body into us like a NFL linebacker. Neither of us would release the weapon. The force of the other officer drove us into the side of my car near the front. As the three of us hit the car, the suspect and the second officer’s upper bodies were thrown onto the hood of the vehicle.
My arm was beneath them. They both landed on it and my wrist struck the corner of the car at the point where it changes from the side, to the hood of the car. I felt only moderate pain at the time, and we continued with the struggle. The man was subdued and taken into custody without serious injury to any of us.
However, a short time later, I had intense pain in my wrist, and it was extremely swollen. I went to the hospital. Luckily, it was not broken, but the incident cost me two weeks of lost work.
Surprisingly, a rare thing happened. The woman followed up at the police station and got an emergency restraining order. She went to court, and to my surprise, asked the judge to leave the order in effect. I assumed that the usual would happen, the man’s case would get continued. They would reconcile (only to cause more problems for the police later), and she would drop the restraining order at or before his trial. She DIDN’T drop it! She kept the order and had it extended for a year. WOW!
When speaking to us after court, the woman told us that she had finally had enough. That night, she said, “was the last straw!”
I later found out that another woman from a nearby city had taken a restraining order out on this man. Apparently, he had become someone else’s problem.
As I have said in the past, physical (as well as emotional) abuse does not get better, or go away. It only gets worse unless you rid yourself of the problem as if it were a cancer, because it is!
Female Soulcasters (as well as male), protect yourselves. Do not remain in abusive relationships. It could cost you your lives!
Frlncwrtr posted on Sep 10, 2006
| views: 345
Comments
-
JadeLondon said on Sep 11, 2006....
Sound advice. I would like to think in my case, I was coming to a sensible decision.
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 11, 2006....
Yes Jade, if your suspicions prove to be correct, I think you are. Best of luck!
-
secretlife said on Sep 11, 2006....
It's that 'aha' moment-
We can't make that happen for someone, they have to come upon it for themselves....
it must be very frustrating watching situations like this go on over and over and not be able to do anything but warn and then respond....
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 11, 2006....
Secretlife:
Oh, have you got that right! Warn and then respond…to the next incident in which the victims are usually in a worse place than they were the prior time.
You are right, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make the horse drink! Thanks Secretlife, for the reminder, it is very frustrating at times.
-
quidnunc said on Sep 11, 2006....
a relationship is supposed to enrich a person in all respects. if it turns out otherwise, there is no use staying in it.
timely advise, frincwrtr!
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 11, 2006....
Thank you quidnunc!
-
missb said on Sep 13, 2006....
I'm so very much against abusive relationships. Not just physical but also mental abuse.
But sadly, I have known many girls who just couldn't leave... And for those who did leave, well done!
Good one, Frlncwrtr!
Cheers :)
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 13, 2006....
Thanks missb!
I’m against them myself, but there are so many of them (physical and otherwise) and only small numbers of people (male & female) make it out of them.
I’m not sure whether the new abuse laws are making this situation better or worse. Somehow I think that less of these abuse crimes are being reported.
Thanks for reading, and commenting!
-
chingform said on Sep 13, 2006....
relationships is to built a family with love..
if it is hurting ourself then there is no point in building it.
just break it apart.
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 14, 2006....
Exactly Chingform!
Some things are meant to be, others are not.
-
chingform said on Sep 14, 2006....
hi frlncwrtr is me again.
visit you for the second time.
:)
cheers !
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 14, 2006....
chingform:
I went to your site several times for a visit today. I also checked out your painting...nice work!
-
chingform said on Sep 14, 2006....
thanks frlncwrtr for the visit ..:)
i really appreciated that.
i am sorry that I didn't keep up with the conversation..
i was away for preparation of our exhibition started today. it is more about our picture framing shop.
will talk to you again.
-
FaithfulDisciple said on Sep 15, 2006....
Well I must say you have a very subtle and convincing way of proving your case. The message is clear, abusive relationships are destructive and is only a matter of time before it detonates on its victims.
If by this true to life post, those in abusive relationships heed your well meaning advice, your effort was well worth it. I must say that it took some time for you to follow up on your excellent works.
You should probably know I mentioned you in my post The Writer Within You
as I consider you to be one outstanding writer whose works I look forward in reading. I do hope you write more often.
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 15, 2006....
Chingform:
Thank you also for the same. Don’t worry about the conversation. It happens to all of us. I was unable to get on here very much today.
-
Frlncwrtr said on Sep 15, 2006....
FD: I will try to make a more concerted effort to post more often. I know it often takes me a little time to follow up on my works, which btw I thank you for calling excellent!
I don’t think I saw, The Writer Within You post. I will check it out though and again thank you for the honorable mention.
And Yes, I know that subtlety is not one of my finer points, hahaha…never has been.
Thanks for stopping by again!
-
Lioness said on Dec 05, 2006....
Hello, I hope it's not too late to make a comment on your post.. =)
I think this is a timely post because whether we admit it or not, being in an abusive relationship can harm us not only physically but also emotionally. Yes, there are women who refuse to leave, sometimes believing that the physical abuses are a way of expressing love. I have a friend who's been married for only about 2 years, and she claims that her husband hurts her. I told her to leave. She refused. She loves him very much. When will she ever learn, only time will tell. I guess when she becomes to weak to endure the pain. :c -
Frlncwrtr said on Dec 14, 2006....
Lioness: LOL Of course not! :) It's never too late, and I'm sorry that I missed this one.
I agree that your friend will probably stay until she's to weak to endure the pain. I hope not, but usually that is the way it works. It's a tough situation to try to talk to someone about because more times than not, you'll end up looking like the bad guy for trying to help.
Comment on "How Depression Can Lead to Desperate and Senseless “Solutions.”"
Related Posts:
CreativeWoman
posted 6 days ago
| views: 584
|
And she wants more!This morning I took in 15 hats to the craft consignment shop. The owner loved them and put me under contract for... read entire post
CayenneMan
posted 1 day ago
| views: 85
|
The enchantment before a beautiful day... read entire post
Lucytorial
posted 5 days ago
| views: 459
|
Come on in, its like playschool in here, lots of photos and stories to tell.... read entire post