I'm sick.. or atleast I think I have to be. About a year ago, a girl that lived in my suite tried to commit suicide and ever since then the group of 3 of us had to attend couseling to make sure we were okay, from the incident I guess. But, no the girl didn't commit suicide she just craved the attention honestly. But, even thought I am not required to attend couseling anymore, I still do. I like my couselor she's nice, easy to talk to, and I like getting someone else's prespective on things.. But, I am holding back. I always am, it's part of me. I don't want to dissapoint anyone, I don't want to let anyone really truely inside to see all of me, because then they will leave, how do I know? I just do. They always leave.
It hit me tonight when I went on a swing, sat there and wrote, just wrote everything I was feeling and I had my ipod playing. And I just started crying. It happened the other day too. I broke down in the shower, because I was just thinking of him, my ex. I don't know what to do anymore.
Do I like the new guy I am seeing? Yes. Do I think were meant to be or anything? No. Were not that compatible, and honestly I think were both just trying to feel the need we both need to be with someone. But, I still cry, I still think I messed up with my ex.
I am starting to think that I have severe depression. Great- just what I need. My life is so F***** up.
I am so lost.
