So I got a new job which is why I have been somewhat MIA lately. I have been reading, just not posting anything because well I have no time. My new job i work shifts like tomorrow night I work midnight and tuesday I will work 4 til 1230. It can get daunting but it is well worth it. I love the job, love my co-workers. Everything about this job is perfect for me. It is very demanding emotionally, physically and mentally. I can't go into details for confidentiality issues.
The only issue I have right now is my boyfriend. We have been together for about 3 months now. He has voiced issues with my job. He doesn't like that I work shifts because he doesn't get to see me everyday like he is used to. The other day he actually guilt tripped me into seeing him when I told him I just wanted to sleep after working two midnights in a row (I worked 4 in a row this week). He is pissed that I cannot tell him things about the job especially when it effects me. What I hear and see is disturbing, but I cannot talk about it to him because of confidentiality issues and he gets mad at me for it. Nothing that I can control. Then he has gotten jealous of my one co-worker Jeff because we have gotten close because he and I do talk about things since we are allowed to talk to co-workers. During training they told us to take advantage of our co-workers because they are the only ones who understand what we have to deal with on a daily basis.
I do not want to give up my job, but the boyfriend is not being understanding and it is really starting to effect my viewpoint of him at this point. He knows I love this job, but he makes me feel guilty when I want to relax without him around. When he is around he is constantly holding me. Sitting next to me is not enough he has to have his arms and sometimes legs around me as if he is holding me down. It was cute in the beginning, but now it feels too much like he is trying to hold me down like I said. He doesn't want kids right now but I do (he is 19 I am 26) and I know people say age isn't a big deal, but I think it is right now because I want to start a family and he isn't ready. I wouldn't want him to feel resentful towards me if that is where our relationship goes. I tried talking to him and he got upset with me. Not sure what to do...and wow this was a huge rant forgive me.
rmuxagirl posted on Jun 13, 2009
| views: 61
Comments
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wishyouwerehere said on Jun 13, 2009....
Its good to get it down into words, Rmuxa. I hope it helps you sort it through - sounds like you already have an inkling where it is headed.The clinging to you - physically and emotionally - is worrisome. It is one thing to love someone and quite another to want to own them. His behaviors seem to be a reflection of his own insecurity.Anyway - those are my two cents, for whatever its worth. All the best - Wish -
rmuxagirl said on Jun 13, 2009....
Exactly. He constantly tells me he loves me and misses me even if I just drop him off or vise versa. Like sitting next to him does not seem to be enough. I tried to talk to him about it today, but he got a little upset about it. I don't know what to do. He and his family go to church with me which makes it a little harder. I dont want them to get upset if I do end things. oy vey. -
secretlife said on Jun 13, 2009....
and it's also hard when you can't talk about your work--- i don't see how that could work really since work is such a big part of our lives---i think it's only natural he feels left out rmuxa, but i question whether things could work out with anyone who isn't in the same position as you are. -
queenparanoia said on Jun 13, 2009....
hey i miss you by the way!
i'm glad you have a job you enjoy now i just hope yor boyfriend understands it...
maybe he did feel left thats why he's a little needy of you. age doesnt matter alright but maturity is...
and i think he's a little immature if he doesnt understand you and your wok...
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RollingC said on Jun 14, 2009....
At that age I don't think any male is ready to " talk " about having a family until it happens.As far as his holding you constantly...You may be his first real love or maybe he's the possesive type, not to mention insecurities.Just show him that you love him and if he's the one for you everything will work out.Rc -
rmuxagirl said on Jun 14, 2009....
SL: I know my job is important and I tell him as much as I possibly can, but there are things that I cant tell him because of the confidentiality of the job. Working with mental/behavioral health is just one of those things. He gets the idea of what I do, but because there are some medical issues I can't say much like the girl's past. But he wants me to tell him everything possible.
Queenie: I missed you all too. I am going to try and make some time to blog here. Maybe before work like I am now. The needy and clingy started before the job, and he knew this job would take a lot of my time. He just kind of makes things harder for me when he won't let me go. LIke today I was laying iwth him on our big swing and I needed to take him home so I could sleep before work tonight...he got upset.
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