Alyss posted on Jun 13, 2009
| views: 153
I am feeling out of sorts, off kilter if you will and I am having a hard time dealing with it.
I am incredibly happy and hopeful about what the future holds for me but I seem to be having trouble right now dealing with the present.
I desperately want to tell everyone about my news but feel constrained by circumstance to be circumspect. Necessary almost certainly, but it feels dishonest to me and I don't like it.
I want to be able to celebrate, shout it from the roof tops, tell everyone who matters even if they will almost certainly explode like Mount Etna in disapproval but I can't. Not yet.
And that means that things like today, when I went out to look at wedding dresses, I went alone and somewhat furtively trying to avoid detection. And that makes me feel dishonest.
And having been out alone I can't talk with anyone about what I saw, how they fitted, how I felt and that makes me sad.
I can't laugh with anyone about the silly frou frou dress, the one that was so plunging it nearly reached my navel, the one with the enormous skirts and train that I could barely walk in or the one that made me catch my breath and gasp, not knowing that I could ever look like that.
And I have noone with whom to discuss the pros and cons of the dresses. The bridal gown that would cost £1,000 but looks amazing or the simple, sensible gown that costs £200 and will do...
I have so many things to be grateful for, not least being in the situation that demands I look at wedding dresses, but somehow I keep getting caught up in the sadness and not the joy.
Comments
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EvilTwin said on Jun 13, 2009....
[Hugs] Ah beloved... I'm not sure what to say. I do understand. And I wish things were different. I too want to be shouting it from the rooftops...<Kisses you gently>I love you. And I want you to be happy.Truly. -
gingersoul said on Jun 13, 2009....
Alyss....i am sorry you feel in this way .....it should be an interrupted moment of laughter for you...
Hey, tell you what....you send me pictures of your wedding gowns and we can laugh together about the frou frou things.....ok?..
Seriously though.... don't let the outside circumstances dump down your happiness....
There must be somebody you can go wedding shopping...a co-worker who is not at all involved in the family drama?
Its ok....its temporary.....you know where is your reward is....{hugs}
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gingersoul said on Jun 13, 2009....
Hello ET!!!!!!!.......:-D
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EvilTwin said on Jun 13, 2009....
Hello Ginger. ;-) -
gingersoul said on Jun 13, 2009....
See what you did to our poor girl here?....;-p -
secretlife said on Jun 13, 2009....
soon you'll be able to shout it from the rooftops-and i hope you never stop wanting to shout it out.buy the dress that makes you feel amazing- there are too few times in our lives where we get to feel that way, and i'm a believer that you should take advantage of those times. -
Hegemone said on Jun 13, 2009....
Oh that would put me out of sorts too. I like Gingy's idea ... take some pictures and share it with a selected few that you don't need to worry about knowing right now. Sorry that this wonderful event is turning so stressful. That will change soon enough hopefully. (((HUG))) -
gingersoul said on Jun 13, 2009....
Well, i hope you like the song ......its very apt for you and ET....:-)
And those gowns are pretty gorgeous if you are into that kind of fashion.....anything you like?......:-)
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travelr712 said on Jun 13, 2009....
when you feel off kilter, time to buy a new kilt :-) -
Alyss said on Jun 14, 2009....
The gowns are beautiful Ginger and so is the song. ;-)
And thank you everyone else too.
There are so many factors in play that deciding is hard. Part of me wants one of the amazing, beautiful gowns but I have to also consider the expense involved (air fares for me + 2, the venue, the wedding ceremony, flowers, the restaurant after, not to mention the trip for the rest of the week) without me adding a ridiculous amount of money for something that I'll wear once for just a few hours.
Economics and general common sense all say I should go with the simple, elegant dress...
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jun 14, 2009....
<3
paper ~
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Zayda said on Jun 14, 2009....
Alyss: One thing to keep in mind if you are trying to be more economical is that many bridal shops will heavily discount those amazing and beautiful gowns if they are a previous "seasons" gowns. So don't forget to look in the discount/sale sections.
You might be surprised at what you find. When I got married nearly 11 years ago, I found my dress, which made me feel amazing, but I blanched when I saw the price until the fitting attendant said "ohhh, aren't you lucky, that's one of our 75% off gowns". When I asked her why it was discounted, she said it was because it was from the previous bridal "season".
And I, like Ginger, think you should take pictures so that you can share the experience with those you trust to know right now. -
gingersoul said on Jun 14, 2009....
Alyss......so are you saying you will get married here in the States???
Olala'......:-) -
hotaka said on Jun 17, 2009....
Well, you may not have anyone around you now, which is sad to think about, but remember what starchini did? She took photos and shared them with us here. You have all sorts of friends here who would be glad to share your happiness and see your frou frous and maybe even your naval...! -
Alyss said on Jun 21, 2009....
Thank you for the suggestion. I have chosen a simple dress and if circumstances change (e.g. I lose weight) will reconsider.
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