Life isn't as boring for tropical fish in fishbowls as you would think. Their memories are so poor that even though they are stuck in a fishbowl, doing the same rounds over and over (pretty much like You at work, and me too), they are kinda stupid and don't remember they've seen this before.

That's about how my memory is. Maybe it's all the ganja I smoked as a kid. Anyway I just saw UFC Wired with Joe Rogan, showing old MMA fights, and I didn't remember a damn thing about any of them. They were all new to me.

The first, if I can remember far enough back (one hour) to recall it, was .... umm .... give me a moment here ....

Oh yeah, that English guy with the red Mohawk hairdo. Ed Hardy. Oliver Hardy. Whatever. Something Hardy. I remember my pre-fight analysis on the Ed Hardy vs. Rory Markham fight. I said that Rory Markham really hits hard but Ed Hardy has a red Mohawk, so we'll see which is more important, really hitting hard or having a red Mohawk. And it turned out that the Mohawk is more important.

Hardy backpedaled and counter attacked. One of his counter attacks landed on the button and Markham was out. That's that.

The second of four fights on UFC Wired was .... hmm ... shit, do you remember? Oh yeah, Demian Maia vs. Nate Rock Quarry. Demian Maia is the guy I called a young Royce Gracie and number 3 in his weight division, which is a lot higher than anyone else rates him. I'm much more impressed with him than everyone else is. So far.

It's nostalgic. Here's a guy who wins with Gracie jiu jitsu technique. How long has it been since someone did that? I remember when Wallid Ismael was the first to defeat a Gracie in the 90s and it was like the sky was falling. Now the Gracies have feet of clay, since they already taught the world everything they knew, and the world is making up new techniques all the time. Well Demian Maia is the new Royce and it's a pleasure to see him winning with technique over brawn.

The Demian Maia vs. Nate Rock Quarry fight was a joke. It was as one-sided and pathetic as you're going to see. Maia went to the mat. Quarry didn't run for dear life. He should have. He should have gotten back up right away, even though he was on top. He should have yelled for his mom and dad to get him off the mat. Maia quickly improved his position, got on top, got the mount, got his back, established a body triangle with his legs. It was like watching a cobra step by step strangle and then swallow a frog.

Maia found that he couldn't instantly position his arm under Quarry's chin to choke him. So he bopped him on the bean a few times. After a minute or so he was able to position his arm under Quarry's chin, and within four tenths of a second after that, Quarry was tapping out. The end. If they had a rematch it would go exactly the same way. Maia would do the same to Kimbo Slice, though outweighed by a lot. Go fight a cobra, why doncha?

That's why I'd be good against you. Years of karate lessons and a high belt in karate, and all I'd do with you is Gracie jiu jitsu, and if you aren't familiar with it yourself, you're a 50-1 underdog. If you are decent at it, maybe you kill me with standup, since karate ain't all it's cracked up to be, and a good aggressive angry street fighter can take a karate guy.

The third fight on UFC Wired was Rich Ace Franklin vs. Matt Hamill the deaf guy. That was a really stupid fight. Frustratingly stupid. You want to hammer Matt Hamill in his stupid idiot head. What is he doing out there? He's a world class wrestler who doesn't wrestle. Stupid ass. He deserves to lose. The guy has tons of training in wrestling, is great at it, and throws it in the garbage, wastes it, doesn't use it. Dumb fuckin ass.

Franklin got him with a liver kick. Okay, if it was in the first round, sometimes you get tagged with a liver kick. But it was the fucking third round. Hamill had screwed around with Franklin for 2 whole rounds, wasting them. It's like telling Muhammad Ali to box, but Ali decides not to use his jab or his right, he confines himself to left hooks, which he doesn't do well anyway. So Matt Hamill stupids the fight away, and Franklin liver-kicks him, the end.

Finally, Wanderlei Silva vs. Rampage Jackson III. The Axe Murderer Silva is obviously only about 2/3 the fighter he used to be, as Jackson tells us, correctly. So you can toss out the first two times they fought, when Silva Muay Thai'd him with the two hand grip around the neck and the knee to the chin. This time Jackson clocked him for a clean KO.

So it was Rampage Jackson by KO over what used to be an Axe Murderer but is now merely an entertaining fighter with a huge heart who has been banged in the head a few times too many. My wife took one look at the Axe Murderer and claimed that he was proof that mankind descended from the ape. That's not nice, Shelley. Well, kind of incisive but not nice.

Now I think I'll go watch a boxing classic. I hear that Ali is going to fight George Foreman. I wonder who will win.