• Hegemone said on Jun 05, 2009....

  How much weight do those words carry with you?  They carry a lot of weight because 'love' is important and you don't mess with it and you certainly don't lie about it.  Also, it carries even more weight because even if it's not said all the time, when it gets said occassionally it means more because it just shows that the other person is thinking of me, not giving a mechanical answer or acting from a cue I gave them.
  
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity?  I say them with sincerity, no need to say it if I don't truly mean it.  My mom always says it to me each time we sign off from however we're communicating (phone, email, IM) and I know she means it.  My husband only says it to me if I say it to him first and sometimes not even then, and honestly I'm not too sure how sincere he is anymore.
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you?  From my mother, yes.  From my husband, I'm beginning to have my doubts.  It's seeming more and more mechanical as opposed to meaningful.
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken?  At first, yeah, but then you figure out where you're headed and it works out one way or the other.
  
  Do you need to hear those words?  I don't need to hear them all the time, no.  I mean, from my mother, I know she loves me, but I'm not saying it isn't nice to hear it every time and to say it back.  From my husband, him saying it first/on his own would be nice because it'd kind of tell me that he thinks of me and he remembers that I've told him I like to hear it every once in a while to know he's thinking of me.
  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them?  I don't recall a time when I was, but that doesn't mean I wasn't at some point or another.  Wait, wait, I have one!  My SIL got on this kick of saying 'I love you' to people close to her when she'd go to end a phone conversation and it was SO weird.  I don't think I could even bring myself to say it back ... it was just bizarre and sort of creepy.

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jun 05, 2009....

  How much weight do those words carry with you? a ton
  
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity? to me, yes by some and not so sincerely by others, and by me? yes
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you? depends on the speaker
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken? sudden hasn't really been my experience; it kind of naturally unfolds into something deeper if it's supposed to
  
  Do you need to hear those words? yes...I have learned I'm not as secure as I'd like to be, and I don't always trust what I should already know
  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them? not to hear the words, but to discover the sentiment was there? oh yes.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• fragglesrock said on Jun 05, 2009....

  those are very important, heavy, meaningful words in my book. i don't even know if i am capable of answering each question individually, as it is all soooooo  complicated to me. i mean, there is the love of my kids, my friends, lovers, parents, etc...it's all different types of love so my answer my different for each category, maybe i'm over thinking the question?

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 05, 2009....

  Hege,
  It's something I find hard to say to be quite honest.  Once you say it you can't take it back. 
  
  infernal,
  I agree with you on many levels.
  
  fraggles,
  I'm probably the one doing too much thinking.  lol
  
  CW
  

• GracieLee said on Jun 05, 2009....

  no

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 05, 2009....

  Gracie,
  Thanks.
  
  CW
  

• GracieLee said on Jun 05, 2009....

  any time.  i guess my answer was either NO or NONE to most of them.

• Lucytorial said on Jun 05, 2009....

  CW ~ Interesting questions.
   
  When those words are accompanied by an action yes I take head.
   
  When those words are used when I am feeling very fragile or vulnerable yes I feel their truth.
   
  Sometimes those words are used as an aside then I know they are just words.
   
  I don't need to hear them, its nice to feel them.
   
  Awkward only when that friendship deepening makes life difficult.  When it shouldn't deepen.
   
  I've never been shocked by them.

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 05, 2009....

  Gracie,
  That is what I assumed.  :-)
  
  CW
  

• savantics said on Jun 05, 2009....

  my parents didnt say those words alot, so i've had a hard time hearing them in my adult life, however when i love someone, i dont hesitate to tell them my best friend blair and i say we love each other every single time we part, be it in person, or on the phone,...she said it first, and for about a month it shocked me, but i just realized, thats the type of girl she is, her parents were very affectionate, and for years when people have told me they love me i question it and dont believe, yet when blair says it there is no doubt in my mind that she really does love me but i still want to throw up when my dad says it

• sweetsoul said on Jun 05, 2009....

  As you're already hearing, I think there's a lot of gray in these answers. Everyone isn't the same so how can the answer be black and white.
   
   
  How much weight do those words carry with you? Absolutely none if the person isn't sincere, or 'loves' absolutely everyone, or his actions show me otherwise.

  If the person is sincere and his actions match, so if he really does love me...the words are nice but it's not really the words...it's the fact that he loves me.

  And if it's a choice between actions and words...I'll always go with the actions. That goes for a person who hasn't said the words (yet) but his actions show that he does love me as well as the one that has said the words but his actions show me he doesn't.
   
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity? By me, yes. I don't use them lightly. I'm more likely to say 'I care for you' versus love if it hasn't reached the love stage. By others...that's a gray area...it varies from person to person...but I've been fortunate to have a number of people say they loved me and be sincere.
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you? See the answer to the first question.  Gray area again. Don't believe it blindly, no.
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken? Actually the majority of my romantic relationships have developed from good friendships, so for the most part the answer is no because we were both in the same place...our friendship having developed into romantic love. The only time it's been awkward was once in university when a friend of mine professed his love for me and it wasn't reciprocated and I knew my feelings would  never go there. It wasn't awkward in how it made me feel, it was awkward in how to explain that I was flattered but my feelings weren't the same, without hurting him.
  
  Do you need to hear those words? Yes. Don't need it on a continual basis (although I wouldn't complain if they were sincere) but if it's going to be a serious relationship, it's important to me that the person vocally confirm his feelings towards me. I don't want to rely on his actions, I want him to admit his feelings to me, as I will to him. I've known more than one guy who I knew loved me before he even realized it himself. His actions told me. I guess for me, the telling me the words is a way of vocalizing that he's acknowledging it to himself as well as me.

  Having said that though, I can be patient as well. I've been in relationships where it was clear to me that we loved each other; that I confessed my love to him and that he hadn't come to the realization yet about his true feelings, so didn't tell me back that he loved me...because he wouldn't be insincere about something as important as that. In that situation, it pleased me that he didn't automatically tell me he loved me. I didn't want to hear it before he knew it for a fact. Made it even sweeter when he did finally say it. :)

  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them?  When it was sincere...no.
  

• MsStar39 said on Jun 05, 2009....

  Those words mean a lot to me, I try to tell my husband and children daily that I love them. I sometimes tell my friends that., 

• queenparanoia said on Jun 05, 2009....

  How much weight do those words carry with you? it weighs more than my life.
  
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity? yes. and i know if it would be sincere or not. and i say those words like my life depends on it. that's how important those words are...
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you? i could tell if it's sincere or not.
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken? not really. love starts out as friendship.
  
  Do you need to hear those words? once in a while yes. but sometimes it can be said in a different way... ;-)
  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them? nope. because i know i'm lovable...lol...
  

• marie5 said on Jun 05, 2009....

  that last line was cute queenparanoia. I too didn't get to hear those words from my parents a lot. Not sure why they didn't say it, but I do say it every day to my son and my husband several times and I back it with my actions. I started telling three of my close girlfriends that I loved them when I felt that I did. They said it back and we continue to tell one another. I notice some people who are uncomfortable with saying it just say Love you. They leave out the I. I tell my parents that I love them now as an adult and I usually get the love you back or love you too. Does it matter?

• queenparanoia said on Jun 05, 2009....

  marie: thanks marie... ;-)

• RollingC said on Jun 05, 2009....

  Yes the words mean a lot to me.  How much? don't really know as it depends on who's saying it, when and where they say it. 
  Funny isn't it ?   How some words make you or brake you emotionally.   Actions also need to accompany these words or statement for many times and many people use it in an empty selfish way.
  Rc

• scipio said on Jun 06, 2009....

  These three little words have been the most misused words  all over the world.

  Very few people have genuinely benefited from hearing and saying those words. The world echos these words mostly on Valentine's day....

  Incidentally. "Isle of View" and "I love you" sound the same.

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 06, 2009....

  Thank you all for commenting.  It seems to me that "I love you" means different things to different people.  It's meaning is as individual as we are. You all have made such thoughtful comments.  :-)
  
  CW
  

• LonelyWanderer said on Jun 06, 2009....

  How much weight do those words carry with you? a huge amount, I think love can have many different weightings, it can be said between friends as a comment which describes to you how much your friendship is appreciated, between family members which remind you of your family ties. And then there is the love that is from the depths of your heart, I often find myself questioning my love for some1, am i in love with you, or do I simply love you, i think both of these things hold different meanings. Loving someone can mean you think about them all the time and always want to do your best by them. But i think being in love is totally selfless and that particular phrase holds the greatest weight of all.
  
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity? Between friends they are sometimes flung out and arent sincere but when it really matters they are words said less often and at moments when they are the only words to be said. I would never say I love you unless I truely new I meant it and that the other person would understand them.
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you? sometimes, sometimes you wonder if they are just being said as a last resort
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken? totally! especially if there has only been a slight deepening of that bond of friendship. The words then can sound out of place and tip the balance.
  
  Do you need to hear those words? In a relationship I do, doesnt have to be often but said at times when you're feeling low. It's nice to hear the words or see an action which expresses the words which remind you that you are not alone.
  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them? haha yes! walking out of geography with a boy i'd only known about a week or two and we were laughing and joking and then he suddenly sighs and goes oh *lonely* I do love you..I was well shocked..didnt quite know what to say to that!!

• simplyconfused said on Jun 08, 2009....

  How much weight do those words carry with you?
  If it's somebody who means a lot to me. Then they weigh a lot. But if it's just one of the people who casually throw around " I Love You " it is pretty much nothing for me.
  
  Are they said to you or by by you with sincerity?
  Every time I say it, I mean it.  If I don't feel like I love somebody I won't say it to them.  " I Love You " is something I take very serious, and anybody who says it to me I'm pretty sure they say it with sincerity, again except for the people who throw around " I Love You "
  
  Do you believe them when they are spoken to you?
  When people have shown me with actions and not just words I do.  More times than none I believe it depending on the person.
  
  
  Does it feel awkward when a friendship suddenly deepens and those words are spoken?
  No it doesn't feel awkward to me.  It brings me great joy.  Life is nothing without love, and the only thing I have to offer is my love.  
  
  Do you need to hear those words?
  Yes, I need to hear these words.  Only if there sincere.  If I'm not told I'm loved by those who do love me, I don't feel secure.  I'm just the type of person who needs to be reminded of these things, and shown these things or I go down hill from there.
  
  Have you ever been shocked to hear them?
  Yes, I definitely been shocked to hear these words spoken by a few people.  Not a bad shock of coarse, but I really wasn't expecting them to say it. 

• wolfafterurazz said on Jun 08, 2009....

  I hate you means more to me........I love you is so easy to say.........you have to really know someone to get them to say I HATE YOU! I mean like married em or sompin before they can say that to you...................so if I have their hate...I already had their love and alot more...................BTW my wife hates me ~wink~ it's a love and hate realtionship ~~~~~~~~~~~WOLF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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