So the wife and I saw Star Trek this week and I'm going to have to spoil it for you, so those of you who haven't seen it yet may want to simply click off of here...

As much as I admire the use of temporal distortions and other events that allow the ST storyline to get twisted and turned in order to make series like ST:NG, ST:V and ST:DS9 more exciting and plausible, I was disgusted by its use by the latest prequel. The whole premise of the movie is based off of a temporal distortion caused by logical Spock from after the last ST movie. I specify "logical" Spock, because somehow during the events that occur from this very first scene, suddenly Spock is a self-righteous asshole with no restraint and he's banging Ohura. Yes, he's BANGING OHURA!!

Now in the twists and turns of events, every member of the original crew turns into a liberal progressive asshole... Every member... Starting with Kirk, who grows up a lousy indignant punk of a kid, and Ohura who -- albeit looks ten times better than her 1960's predecessor -- is an academy bitch (not slut, cause she's only BANGING SPOCK) that sucks dick to jockey for position on the USS Enterprise (what a legacy!). Then you've got Bones, who I really liked in the series, being portrayed as a bitter divorcee and a drunkard. Way to go J.J. Abrams! You've totally photon torpedoed the whole series for me thus far.

But wait! There's more!! They stereo-type Checkov to be so horrible with English that he sounds like a tool over the ship's intercom, because Russians are stupid, right? And then there is sulu, with the bad-ass ninja sword skills (very stereotypical) that has to be rescued by Kirk. And for the finale we finally get to meet Scotty, who's an arrogant, whiny officer placed on the fringe of known time and space, left to putter with midget aliens that eat beans. He's always hungry and drinking from a flask... No stereo-typical Scottman there, eh?

In the process of the movie, Vulcan is destroyed, Kirk loses his father, Spock loses his mother (played by Winona Ryder) -- another huge disappointment, and Spock not only has emotion but he's BANGING OHURA!!! All the while they never fix the problem that caused this whole mess in the first place -- they lost all the 'red matter' which the secret formula for is still in "logical" Spock's head, the black hole is still set to appear and destroy Romulus and Romulan miners are still flying around. So, nothing changes and everything is still wiped out!

I am totally fucking frustrated with how these assholes have fucked up this beloved series. I guess since the Roddenberrys have bit the dust that they felt it necessary to simply erase fifty years of sci-fi history and replace it with their liberal version in the name of progress. I don't want to even go see Terminator at this point. I'm just so pissed! Yes, I wore the Klingon outfits back in college (I amused kids in malls and got felt up by hot female fans of the series) and eventually put away such childish things... But it felt like part of my heritage. Now, that heritage has been marginalized and made irrelevant by a bunch of Hollywood cunts.