“Carl,” Mommy said to Daddy, “I don’t mind them taking our junk food.  It’s bad for us  to eat so many sweets anyway.  And look, aren’t they entertaining us now?”

“I suppose so,” Daddy said.  “It’s a good trade off.  You know, honey, some of the Fibble Wibbles seem to be lacking M&Ms.  I wonder if they are running out.”  Then he said to Tommy, “Son, get three of the four large bags of M&Ms I just brought home from the store.  Then give them to the Fibble Wibbles.  I think they might need them.”

“Give them M&Ms?” he said, quite amazed.  “Haven’t they taken enough?”

“Why shouldn’t we give to them?” Daddy said.  “This much entertainment would have cost us twenty times as much if we had to pay for it.  Why not give them their due?”

Within seconds of the time Tommy put the opened bag onto the ground, dozens of Fibble Wibbles came to quickly carry it away.  One stayed behind and shouted, “Thanks!” before scurrying away.

“You’re welcome,” Daddy and Mommy called.

The Doobebe family listened and danced for hours, after which Kimberly Mae, Christopher and Tommy retired to their room.  Mommy took Zack and Erica upstairs and put them to bed.  Everyone hit the sack, exhausted.  The only sound you could hear in the stillness of the night is the sound of, as was supposed, a far away Fibble Wibble yodeling.

Chapter 4

 

That night, Kimberly Mae was in bed, almost asleep.  Pitter pat. Pitter pat she heard.  “Zack and Erica are awake,” she thought, “and running down the hall.  I wonder what mischief they’re getting into.  I’d better see what’s what.”

Kimberly Mae didn’t let them see her as she followed them to the kitchen.  They went into the cupboard and took some of the new M&Ms out of the one remaining bag.  “They’re sneaking a midnight snack,” she thought.  “I better get mine while the getting is good.”  Kimberly Mae was thinking about asking them for some but changed her mind when Zack and Erica unlocked and opened the back door.  They went outside into the back of the house, sprinkled the M&Ms around and chanted,

 

“Fibble Wibble king

Dance and sing

Accept the tribute

That we bring.”

 

“It’s mighty late at night,” Kimberly Mae thought, “for calling out a king.”  Yet, still, King Fibble appeared out of the hole in the ground.  He was wearing his royal night robe.

“Hello, your majesty,” Zack said with a bow.

“Hello,” Erica said.

Then King Fibble held out his hand so they could lean over and kiss it.

“Thank you for your gifts, my beloved children,” he said in a most royal way.  “Now what is it that I can do for you.”

Zack spoke first. “It’s about Mommy and Daddy.  They keep saying we’re poor.  We’re having trouble keeping our farm.”

Erica handed the king another M&M, “We love our Mommy and Daddy.  Can you help?”

King Fibble thought for a moment and said, “You know, humans are the ones with the great wealth.  They must have thousands of M&Ms in their houses.  No matter how much we gather tribute, they always seem to come up with more.  What else do you need?”  Now, King Fibble talked about M&Ms like this because Fibble Wibbles use them for everything from wearing them like jewelry, to eating them for dinner, to spending them like money.

“But M&Ms aren’t what people need,” said Zack.  “We need things like cars and bikes and TVs” 

“And VCRs” Erica added. “But Daddy says our crops aren’t doing well this season.”

“I don’t know about such things,” the king said.  “How could people who have so many M&Ms be poor?  You all eat well, have love in their family, and are healthy.  You should be perfectly happy.”

“I never thought of it like that before,” Erica said, “I guess you’re right.”\               “Besides that,” continued the king, “you have each other.  You have all you need.”  Then King Fibble put his hand to his chin and thought a very long, royal thought.  “I tell you what,” King Fibble said to the babies.  “I can make a trade.  You give me M&Ms and I’ll give you something of great value.”

“You mean, you’ll give us clothes and new shoes and good things to eat?” Erica said.

“I’ll do better than that,” said the king with a twinkle in his eye.  “I’ll give you gorka.”

“What’s gorka?” they asked together.

“It’s pretty yellow pebbles,” he said with a smile.  “Very valuable.  We Fibble Wibbles collected it for many, many years and stored tons of it right here, in the ground right under you.  We’ll be glad to give you all you want!” his royal highness said.

Kimberly Mae raised her eyebrow.  “There’s M&Ms in the king’s eyes,” she thought.

Then Zack said, “Okay, if it will make Mommy and Daddy happy.  What can we do?”

King Fibble thought for another moment, a long, royal thought, and said, “For every M&M you bring us, we will give you a pebble of gorka of equal size.”

“That sounds great!” Zack said, but Kimberly Mae wasn’t so sure about that.  “M&Ms for rocks?  What kind of a deal was that?” she thought.  “I suppose I should tell Mommy and Daddy about it,” she thought. But she was too sleepy.  She yawned, then turned to go back to her bedroom to sleep.

The next morning Kimberly Mae went downstairs and saw a pile of yellow pebbles on the dining room table, enough to fill a drinking glass.  “Babies,” she said to herself, “They must have traded those new M&M bags already.  I hope they don’t get into trouble.”  Kimberly Mae swept up all the heavy gorka she could onto a plate.  “I’d better carry it upstairs to hide it in my room until I could get rid of it,” she thought.  It was just in time because she heard Daddy, Mommy, Christopher and Tommy get up and go downstairs for breakfast.  Kimberly Mae followed them.

Daddy helped Mommy get the food ready.  Then, when he was about to set the table, he said, “Honey, what’s this grime on the table?  It looks like sand – but look at its strange color.”

“I don’t know, darling, I cleaned that table last night after dinner,” she said.

Daddy looked at that dust for a long time.  “The babies are going to get the naughty seat for sure,” Kimberly Mae thought.  Daddy looked, and looked, and looked some more.  Finally he said, “Darling.  Take a look at this.  It shines in the light.  It doesn’t look like normal dust.  I’m going to take this down to Doctor Casey’s lab to find out what it is.  If this came from our field, it could explain why our crops fail so often.”

Now Dr. Casey was a man who farmers can go to when they have problems.  He’s paid by the government to help people like Daddy.  So Mommy said, “Do what you like dear.”  Then Daddy very, very carefully scooped up every last bit of the dust and put it into an old mayonnaise jar.  He looked at Kimberly Mae.

 “Kimberly Mae, do you know anything about this dust?”

“No,” she said.  “Dust?  Who me?”

“Are you sure you don’t know where it came from?”

“Maybe it was the babies.”  Kimberly Mae didn’t want to rat on the babies, but if a little bit of dust is all he found, how mad could he get?  Daddy just looked really serious and went up to the babies’ room.  Kimberly Mae followed to see what would happen.  He took a look at their hands.  Then he went to the door. “Mary,” he called, “come and look at this.”  When Mommy came up, she found him stooping over the babies and taking dust from their hands, trying not to wake them.

“What’s wrong?”  Mommy asked.

“This yellow, gritty dust, it’s on their hands!  It must have come from them!”

“What’s so special about that dust?  Is it dangerous?” she asked.

“No, not dangerous,” Daddy said.  “But if it is what I think it is it can be important.”

“What do you think it is?” she asked.

“I’ll tell you only if it’s confirmed.”

Kimberly Mae backed away because she wanted to wash her hands before she got caught with dust too, but it was too late.  Daddy looked at her and said, “Kimberly Mae, let me see your hands.”  She took them out of her pockets and laid them open for him to see.  Her heart was pounding.  He took more samples from her fingers and said, “Kimberly Mae, you touched this dust.  When did you do that?”

“About ten minutes ago,” she said,  “just before you did.”  That’s the truth.  She just didn’t tell him about the rocks that surrounded the dust.

“Look, Kimberly Mae, you look like you think I’m disturbed.  I’m not.  This dust can be very good.  I’ll deal with this later.  In the mean time, I’m taking you to McDonald’s for a fast breakfast, then to school.  Otherwise, you won’t have time to eat.  Go on, call your brothers.”

Kimberly Mae, Christopher and Tommy got into the car.  “Yay, McDonalds!” they said.  “I want an Egg McMuffin!”  Kimberly Mae said. 

“Anything you want, kids,” Daddy said.

When they got to school, Kimberly Mae and Christopher learned more about fractions.  Christopher sat up and learned, but to Kimberly Mae, Mrs. Foster sounded like, “Three fourths plus four thirds, blah blah blah and one half of one half is blah blah.”  She day-dreamt she was a Fibble Wibble girl where she had M&Ms for breakfast, potato chips for lunch, and M&Ms and chips for dinner.  “I sure wish that all I had to care about was where my next M&M would come from,” she mused.

Suddenly, Kimberly Mae’s daydream ended with a loud WHAM as Mrs. Foster’s yardstick hit the top of her desk.  “What are you dreaming about now, Kimberly Mae?” she asked.

“Uh, fractions, I suppose,” she answered.

“All right, Kimberly Mae,” the teacher said with a stern voice, “Pop Quiz.  What do you have when you halve a half?”

“When you have a half, you have a half,” Kimberly Mae answered.

“Wrong!”  Mrs. Foster said.  “You haven’t been listening.  Let me put it this way.  Suppose your brother had an apple and your mother told him, ‘you have to share half of it with Kimberly Mae.’  Then you were told you have to share your half with your little brother, Tommy.  To do that, you’d have to halve your half.  How much would you have after you have halved your half?”

“I don’t rightly know,” Kimberly Mae answered.  “I’m all confused.  Fractions are hard.”

“When you halve a half,” Mrs. Foster said.  “You have a fourth!  Now sit up and listen, before I give you busywork!”

“Dumb fractions,” Kimberly Mae thought.  “How can you have a fourth and a half at the same time?”  Kimberly Mae couldn’t concentrate.  She was thinking about what was going on at home.

After school, when the three siblings got back to the farmhouse, they saw Daddy and Mommy in the front yard waiting for them.  As soon as Daddy saw her, he said, “Kimberly Mae, where did you get that dust that was on your hands?”

“I told you, “ she said. “The dining room table had some on it and I figure the babies had something to do with it.”

Tommy said to her, “This morning, I found some of the sand on the floor near our bedroom door and a little near your bed.  There must have been a lot on your hand!”

Now Kimberly Mae didn’t know what to do.  “Tommy’s a snitch!” she thought.  She was caught.  “What was so special about that dust anyway?” she asked Daddy.

“Kimberly Mae!” Daddy said, “You will go in with me right now, sit at the dining room table and tell me everything you know about that dust!”

The jig was up.  They marched inside to the dining room.  Everyone sat down.  Daddy looked very serious.

“Well, Daddy, it was like this . . . ” she began.  She told him about the babies and the Fibble Wibble king, about the trade, and how she gathered the pebbles from the table.  That made Daddy get really excited.

“Kimberly Mae, show me the pebbles!  Show them to me now!”

So Kimberly Mae got the pebbles from upstairs and brought them down.  Daddy made sure that every one was taken out of the shoebox.  Daddy then got out his postage scale and weighed them.  Then he took out a calculator, punched in a few numbers and looked up at Mommy.

“This gold’s worth two thousand, eight hundred, forty-two dollars,” he said.  “Now Kimberly Mae, you said the Fibble Wibbles traded this for one king-sized bags full of M&Ms?”

“Yes sir,” she said.  “But that’s not gold, that’s gorka.”

“Gorka?  What’s that?  This is gold.”

Then Daddy went to the babies who were asleep on the couch.  “Don’t wake them,” Mommy said.  “The first rule of parenting is to never wake a sleeping baby.”

Daddy paced back and forth, gritting his teeth. Beads of sweat dropped down his chin.  Finally he said, “Can’t you just wake them a little?”

“No, I can’t!” Mommy said.

They had to wait two full hours until the babies woke up.  While they were waiting, Daddy took a magnifying glass and went over every square inch of floor from the dining room to Kimberly Mae’s room trying to find more of that gold dust.

“I’m bored,” Christopher said.

“Come on, Christopher, let’s play Nintendo,” Kimberly Mae said.

“Yeah, lets,” he replied.

After an hour, Mommy came in.  “Come on kids.  Your father wants you in the living room.”  They got up and followed her.  They found the babies in Daddy’s lap, whimpering.  Daddy was saying, “Come on, Zack, tell Daddy where you got the pretty pebbles.  I’ll give you M&Ms if you have the Fibble Wibbles give me more gorka.”

Mommy said, “Be patient, dear, you’re going to make them cry.”  But Daddy was too excited to be patient.  He wasn’t being bad to the babies, it’s just that they still had sleep in their eyes and didn’t want to be asked questions.

“Kimberly Mae, Christopher, is there anything you can do to get these babies to tell me about that gorka?” Daddy said.

Finally Kimberly Mae said, “Daddy, I can get you more gorka.  Just give me some M&Ms.” 

“Sure!  If you think it’s worth a try!” said Daddy.

 He immediately took the truck to the store and purchased  bags and bags of M&M’s – a whole grocery bag full.  He hurried home as fast as he could.  When he got there Kimberly Mae took the candy and they all went to the back yard.  She sprinkled it, like before, then chanted,

 

“Fibble Wibble king,

 Dance and sing.

Accept the tribute

That we bring.”

 

But nothing happened.  So Kimberly Mae tried it again, and still nothing happened.

“Why isn’t it working?” Daddy asked.  “Are you sure you’re saying the right words?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” she said. “That’s what we kids always do to summon the king.”

“Let me try it.” Daddy said.  “How did that chant go again?”

 

“Fibble Wibble King,” they said together.

“Dance and sing.

Accept the tribute

That we bring.”

 

Nothing happened.  Then Mommy tried.  Still nothing.

“Maybe we all ought to try together,” Christopher suggested.

That’s when Zack and Erica stopped crying and started laughing.  Erica said, “I’ll do it Daddy.”

Zack and Erica both went into the yard and chanted the chant as they all watched from near the house.  When they sprinkled the M&Ms there was a short wait.  Forty Fibble Wibble guards came out, armed to the teeth with toothpicks and sewing needles, all aimed at Mommy, Daddy, Christopher and Kimberly Mae!  They had armor and helmets and pointed shoes!  The one giving orders to the others had a bright blue feather sticking out of his helmet that was longer than he was tall!

Then the king, himself, appeared out of the hole.  He, came right up to Daddy and shouted,  “A  deal’s a deal!  You’re not getting a single M&M back - so you’d better just go away!”

Then Daddy said to Mommy, “Quick, hand Zack a jumbo bag of M&Ms. Hand him two!”  So Mommy did.  And when Zack placed the bags before the king, the king just stood there for what seemed like a long time.  He looked at the bags, then looked at Mommy then looked at the bags again.

“What’s this?” he asked, puzzled.  After a short pause, he snapped his royal fingers.  A tubby Fibble Wibble came out, opened the bag with a piece of razor, then took out a blue M&M.  He was quite serious, and took a second to glare at Daddy and Mommy.  He examined the M&M carefully, sniffed it with several short sniffs, then tasted it.  Then his whole face smiled.

“It’s okay!” he said in a loud, almost laughing voice.  “It’s a real M&M!”

The king’s eyes brightened, then he said with a hearty voice, “Are you sure?  Oh, lord of Fibble Wibbles, may we find favor.  They accepted the deal!”  Then he started to laugh, as did all of the other Fibble Wibbles.  They said to each other, “Gorka for M&Ms!  Gorka for M&Ms!” over and over again.

King Fibble walked right up to Daddy with his royal guards before him.  The chief guard (the one with a blue feather in his helmet) said in a commanding voice, “It is your duty to kneel before the king!”

Daddy had gold in his eyes so he knelt down really fast and handed the king’s men another bag of  M&Ms for good measure.  Seeing this, the king said, “Ten!  I want ten!”

So Mommy took ten more out of the bag and handed them to the king’s servants.  The king, seeing the source of the M&Ms said, “Now give me the big bag.”

When Daddy gave him the grocery bag, the king said, “Now three more just like it!”

So Daddy said to Mommy, “Call the grocery store and order more!”

Then the king said, “You like gorka, I’ll give you gorka.  Just keep the M&Ms flowing!”

Daddy asked, “And how much gorka do you have?”

“Oh, enough,” he said.  “Enough to trade for all the M&Ms in the land of the big people.  Enough to fill your house and ten more like it.”   Daddy listened more intently while the king continued. “Our treasure is very valuable to us!  That is why we ask you to give us an entire M&M per equal size of gorka.”

At that point, some of the other Fibble Wibbles’ cheeks puffed out as they held in laughter.  “They sized Daddy up as a giant melon,” Kimberly Mae said to Christopher.

“Yeah.  The king is trying to take Daddy for every M&M he is worth,” he agreed.  “Yet gold is actually valuable.  You can sell it for money.”

“Shhhh,” said Kimberly Mae, “They’re talking again.”

“It’s a deal.”  Daddy said.  “Now let us shake on it.”

The king was all too happy to do just that.  He shook hands with Daddy.  Then the king said, “Now say these words, ‘Yooga, moger, somni.”

“What?” Daddy said.

“Say Yooga, moger, somni," he said, more firmly.

The children giggled.  Daddy looked around, “I will not!” he finally said.

“You want gorka?  Then say the words!”

“Go ahead,” said Mommy.  “It’s harmless.”

After a few seconds, Daddy said, “Oh, all right.  Yooga, moger, somni.”

“Now say, ‘To the king I’ll ever be true,’” the king continued.

“To the king, I’ll ever be true,” Daddy repeated.

“That’s enough,” said the king.

“What was that all about?” Daddy asked, sounding relieved.

The king looked very serious and said, “You have just been drafted into our army.  You will report to me the first thing in the morning at seven hundred hours.  And don’t be late!”

“But - but - but” Daddy said.  “I don’t want to be drafted.  And what about my gorka?” But it was too late.  Faster than you can say “Fibble Wibble” they were all down the hole and out of sight.

Chapter 5

All that evening the Doobebe family talked about Daddy being a soldier!   “Daddy’s a Fibble Wibble!” Christopher said.

“I am not!” Daddy said.

Tommy and Kimberly Mae made him soldier caps out of paper and aluminum foil.  Zack and Erica marched around the house like soldiers.  Kimberly Mae said, “Here!  Take these M&Ms!  They’ll give you strength!”

But Daddy just kept saying, “I am NOT a soldier.  I will NOT show up tomorrow morning!”

Then Mommy reminded him, “If you don’t show up, he’ll cancel the contract and you won’t get the gold!”

“Yes we could get the gold.  This is my land!” he replied.  “I can use a bull dozer to find it!”

“Oh, but if you try, you’ll have hundreds of thousands of angry Fibble Wibbles to contend with!” she said.  “And you don’t want that!”

The thought of angry Fibble Wibbles made Daddy shutter.  “All right!” Daddy finally said.  “I’ll be a good Fibble Wibble, at least for now.”

“Sit down honey,” Mommy said.  “You’re getting me nervous.”

“I’m too uptight to sit,” he said.  “The gorka could be worth enough to pay all our debts including our mortgage.  We’ll even have enough left over to send everyone to college.”

“Why do you suppose they’re trading something as valuable as gold for M&Ms?” Mommy asked.  “You would think they’d know how much gold is worth.”

“I don’t know.  Maybe they do and maybe they don’t, but the way the king acted when I gave him the M&Ms, you’d think he was unaware of gold’s true value.”

“Maybe that’s it, Carl.  You know they have different values than we do.  Maybe they value M&Ms more than gold.”

“Maybe they have so much gold laying around that they find it’s a nuisance!” Daddy said.

“I don’t know,” Mommy said.  “We should never underestimate the Fibble Wibbles.  Maybe they don’t value it, but know we do.”