“You never know.  They’ve managed to outsmart people for over a thousand years.  I’m sure King Fibble has something planned.  I had better play it cool.”

Daddy sat and worked on his computer making one calculation after another.  Then he said, “If this farm has gold ore on it, it could be worth millions.”  Then he said, “Kids, I have hours of work here.  You all go to bed.  It’s late.”

“Yes Daddy,” Kimberly Mae and Christopher said.  The babies scampered upstairs.

“Do you really think Daddy’s going to march with the Fibble Wibbles in the morning?”  Kimberly Mae asked.

“I hope not,” Christopher replied.  “It was fun for a while, but I respect Daddy too much to see him act like a Fibble Wibble.  Gold or no gold, it’s not worth the loss of respect.”

“I’m real tired, Christopher.  As soon as I shower and change into my night clothes I’m going right to sleep.”

“Same here,” Tommy said.  “Good night.”

The next morning they all got up early to see what would happen.  They had a good breakfast of hotcakes and grits.

 “Carl,” Mommy said to Daddy, “You aren’t eating.  Here, have some bacon.”

“I’m not hungry darling,” he said.  “If the king recruits me into his army, that can change our lives for a very long time.  I wonder if the gold is worth the price.”

“How busy can it make you?” asked Mommy.  “You can hire someone to work the farm.  That’ll free up your time.”

“It’s almost 7:00,” he said.  “It’s time.”

Daddy went to the back yard to report for duty.  He saw a thousand Fibble Wibbles all standing in perfect lines.  Every one of them had on a pristine red uniform.  In front there was the king, himself.  He took one look at Daddy and said, “Bow before your king for your induction ceremony.”

Daddy kneeled and bowed really low, all the way to the ground.  Daddy didn’t see what was about to happen, but everyone else did.  Three dozen Fibble Wibbles pulled a fly swatter from behind some tall grass and started swatting his behind with it.

“Ouch!  What’s this about?”  Daddy asked, standing up.  “I will not have you do that.”

“No talking!” ordered the king.

“I’m not going to be swatted with a fly swatter!” Daddy yelled.

“I don’t blame you!” said the king.  “It’s humiliating isn’t it?”

The babies started to giggle.  “Hush,” Mommy said.  “It’s not polite.”

The Fibble Wibbles tried to give him another swat, but Daddy stepped away.  After that, the king walked right up to Daddy and said, “You aren’t really inducted into the army, you know.  I just had you think you were to see how far you’d go to get the gorka.  It proves to me that you aren’t just mocking us or trying to trick us.”  The king’s voice became louder as he said, “And the swats were just my way of showing you how it feels to be hit with a fly swatter!  You’ve been swatting us for years.  Now you’ll remember how it feels.”

That was a relief for Daddy.  He crouched again and said, “I’m sorry.  You’re right.  It was a horrible feeling.  I will burn all fly swatters in the house immediately!  We’ll never use them against your people again!”  

“Apologies accepted,” he replied.  The king turned and signaled to his chief officer.  Immediately the army went down one hole and came out another, carrying M&M bags full of gorka.  Their drummer and fife player kept time as they marched.

As the pile of gorka got bigger, Daddy’s eyes got wider and wider.  Then Daddy stood and joined his family at the house’s door, “Listen, kids, it’s time for you to go off to your last day of school.  You get inside, and whatever you do, don’t tell anyone what you just saw.”

By the time Kimberly Mae left that morning, there were about thirty bags of gorka in a big pile, and more on its way.  The king kept his word and gave Daddy a grocery bag full before he was through.

That day, at school, Kimberly Mae was lost in thought.  She couldn’t pay attention to her teacher because she was thinking about the events of the day.

“Kimberly Mae,” Mrs. Foster called.  “You aren’t paying attention.  Tell the class what you’re thinking about.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Foster,” she replied.  “I want to know more about gold.  What’s it worth?”

Christopher squirmed in his seat and spoke out of turn, “Kimberly Mae, we’re not supposed to talk about that.”

“I just want to know what it’s worth, that’s all,” Kimberly Mae replied.

The teacher looked puzzled.  “I don’t know what your secret is, Kimberly Mae, but I wouldn’t mind teaching the class a little about gold.  Gold is a metal, a very beautiful, precious metal.” The teacher took off her wedding ring and showed it to the class.  “My ring is made out of gold.”

“Tell us more,” Kimberly Mae said.

“It is usually mined out of the ground, or out of a mountain’s caves.  An ounce of it is worth over $300.”

“And how much is an ounce?” Kimberly Mae asked.

“An ounce of gold,” Mrs. Foster explained, “is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.”

“Wow,” Kimberly Mae exclaimed.  “How many ounces of gold can fit into a bag of M&Ms?”

“Kimberly Mae, you’re being silly again.”

“No, I’m serious, and what can $300 buy?”

“I imagine that two or three ounces can fit in an M&M bag.  Nine hundred dollars might buy three weeks of groceries, or a mighty fine color television,” she answered.

“How many bags of M&Ms could you buy with $900.00?” she asked.

The teacher smiled, “Over a thousand,” came the reply.  “Now, let’s use this opportunity to learn about money.”

Mrs. Foster spent the rest of the day talking about the value of gold, silver, diamonds, emeralds and how much they could sell for.  She then talked more about what money could buy.

Finally she said, “As you know, kids, this is the last day of school.  Many of you have volunteered to take care of Mr. Boa Constrictor for the summer.  I have decided to let Christopher Doobebe take it.  It will be the joint responsibility of him and his sister, Kimberly Mae.”

“Yay!” Christopher said.  “Thank you Mrs. Foster.”

“You’re welcome, Christopher.  Now, I hope you all have an interesting summer.  Next year, most of you will be in my class again as sixth-graders.  It’s time to get your things.  The buses will be here soon.  Have a nice summer.”

“Yay!” they all shouted.

After school, on the bus, Kimberly Mae was very excited.  She talked to her brothers.          “Christopher, can you imagine what we can buy now?  Maybe we can afford to put another bedroom onto the house so we won’t have to fit three to a room!”

“If we can put another room on,” Christopher said, “I’d think Mommy and Daddy would make a room for the babies so they won’t have to sleep in the master bedroom with them.”

“I want a basketball,” Tommy said.  “And a new bike.”

“I want a stereo,” Christopher said,  “and a video game.”

“Hey, Christopher,” Tommy said, “Can I see the snake?”

“Sure you can,” he said, handing Tommy the box.  “Just be careful not to let it out.”

“How are you going to feed it?” he asked.

“The teacher gave me these coupons for the pet store.  They can be traded for snake food.”

“You mean, mice?” Tommy asked.

“Yep,” Kimberly Mae said.  I know it’s gross, but that’s all snakes can eat if they are to remain healthy.”

When the kids got home from school, they had one thought on their minds.  Kimberly Mae called out,  “Mommy!  Did Daddy get lots of gorka?”

“He sure did!” she said.

“How many ounces?” Christopher asked.

“Ounces?” Mommy said.  “Well, I heard your father say it weighed over a hundred pounds.  There are sixteen ounces to a pound.  You figure it out.”

Kimberly Mae shouted.  “Did you hear that, Christopher?  We’re rich!”

“Real rich!” he replied.

“Rich enough to hire a man to work the farm for us.” Mommy said.  “He’s going to hire John Jenkins!”

“You mean that man from a few farms over?” Kimberly Mae asked.

“Yes, but it’s not his farm anymore.  The bank repossessed it.  Now he’s hiring himself out as a farm hand.”

“When is he coming?” Kimberly Mae asked.

“He’ll be here in a few minutes.  Now, Kimberly Mae, I want you to sit out in front and greet him when he comes.  Then call Daddy and me.  We’re going to be out in the back, examining the yard.”

“Sure!” she said.  “Hey, guys.  Let’s blow some bubbles!”

“You and the babies can do that, sis,” Christopher said.  Christopher and Tommy went into the living room to play the Mouse Trap game.  Kimberly Mae got out her soap bubble mix and wand, then started blowing bubbles in the front of the house as she waited.  Shortly, Zack and Erica joined her.  She blew big, round bubbles, and used another wand to blow a lot of little ones.  The babies chased and popped them in the yard.  “This is the life,” Kimberly Mae said.  “Summer just started and I get to laze around blowing bubbles.”

After just a few minutes, she saw Mr. Jenkin’s rusty pickup truck pull up.  He was wearing denim overalls.  His wife was sitting next to him in her denim overalls too.  Both were chewing tobacco.  Kimberly Mae overheard them talking.  “Connie,” he said, in his very deep, resonant voice, “If there’s one thing I hate it’s Fibble Wibbles!”

“Amen!” she said.  “I hate the monsters too!  Forget the fly swatters.  I’d like to squash every one of them with a mallet!”

“I hear Mr. Doobebe has the biggest colony of them in these United States right there in his farm yard!  I’ve got to get this job with him so I can do a number on those Fibble Wibbles!”  He spewed tobacco juice onto the ground, making an ugly mess.

“Hmmm,” Kimberly Mae said to Zack.  “He wants to harm Fibble Wibbles.  We have to do something!”  Just then, John Jenkins came up to her.  “Hello, Mr. Jenkins.  I was told to let you in.  Daddy will be here in a minute or so.”  She looked at this fellow really close and thought to herself,  "Yeah, this melon looks ripe."

"Thank you," he said, in his very deep, resonant voice..  “Isn’t your name Kimberly Mae?”

"Yes, and these are Zack and Erica."  She pointed to her little sister and brother.  They were both sizing Mr. Jenkins up like Kimberly Mae did.  Then they all gave each other the thumbs-up.

"It's nice to meet you,” he said.  “My wife likes to buy flowers from you on occasion.  She’s out, waiting in the car.”

“It’s an awfully hot day.  May I get you something to drink?” Kimberly Mae asked.

"Sure thing," he said.  “It is mighty hot out there.”

Kimberly Mae led him into the living room.  Mr. Jenkins sat on the couch.  So far, so good. Kimberly Mae went into the kitchen and filled the water glass, then brought it out to him.

"Thank you," he said, taking a big gulp.

While he was distracted by the water, Erica sneaked up behind him.  She climbed up onto the armrest, then hopped onto his shoulders.  Then she grabbed two locks of his hair.

"Who's that on me?" Mr. Jenkins asked.  “Erica?”

He tried to lift her off but she wouldn't budge.  “Ouch” he said.  The more he tried the more it looked like his hair was going to pull out from its roots.  The babies giggled.

"This baby has a tight grip, that's for sure,” he said.  “And, you know, I don't think she's been changed this morning.  Can you get your Mommy or Daddy down here to get her off my shoulders?"

"Nope.  Can’t."  Kimberly Mae said tersely.

"What do you mean, 'Nope.  Can’t.’ There must be some way.”

"No sir, no way known to modern science."

"That’s hard to believe, little girl," he said.

Kimberly Mae had to get this guy to go away!  She knew he was trouble!  So she gave Zack a nod.  Right on cue, John Jenkins felt something cold being poured into his right shoe.  He looked down just in time to see Zachary, with an empty chocolate milk glass, scurry away.

"Why did he do that?”  He asked.  “Now I got a wet foot and a stinky baby on my shoulders with a death-grip on my hair."

They couldn't help but to giggle. Then Mr. Jenkins caved in just when Erica began to drool.  "All right, what’s it going to take to get me out of this situation?" asked John Jenkins.

Just then, Daddy came in the back door. "Oh, Mr. Jenkins.  I see you've met my kids.  Here, let me help you with Erica."  Daddy gave Erica a tickle on each rib until she let go of John Jenkins' hair, then lifted her off.  "You have to know how to do it," said Daddy, "without losing your hair in the process."  Daddy then stepped quickly into the kitchen.  When he came back, he gave him a few paper towels for his foot.  Then he said, “Kimberly Mae, tell Mr. Jenkins you're sorry."

"Sure, I'm sorry Mr. Jenkins.  But I didn’t do anything.  It was the babies.”

“Yeah, yeah.  But you can’t fool me.  Someday your antics will get you in a lot of trouble,” said Daddy, “Now you must spend the next hour in your room as punishment.  Now go."

Kimberly Mae obediently went upstairs.  She took out her big squirt gun out of her drawer, pumped it up, then stood at her window waiting.  “You might think you’re safe, Mr. Jenkins,” she said to herself, “but you’ve never dealt with an angry Kimberly Mae before!”  Kimberly Mae pumped up the air pressure on her weapon until it was at its fullness.  She anxiously waited.  “Come on,” she said over and over.  “Come on.  I’m waiting for you.”   She had to stay there for what seemed like forever, until finally, she heard the front door open.  When Mr. Jenkins came out, he was in perfect position.  SPLASH!  A direct hit!  Mr. Jenkins looked up just in time to glimpse Kimberly Mae ducking her head into the house. “Why me?  What have I done?” he called out.

“You know,” Kimberly Mae called back from inside.  “You’re trouble.”  Then she shut her window.

She wondered, should she tell Daddy why she did what she did?  Maybe, but that will have to wait for the right time, when he’s no longer disturbed at her.  But she would have told him if she knew what was going to happen that very night. 

Chapter 6 

It was midnight.  Kimberly Mae was awakened from sleep by a noise from outside her window.  She got up and looked into the front yard.  The light from a full moon revealed a lone figure dressed in denim overalls.

   “It’s John Jenkins!  The nerve of that guy!” she thought.  “What’s he doing out there?  Oh, no!  He’s after the Fibble Wibbles!”

In his hands, he was carrying a shovel, and a large mallet.  She went to fetch Daddy, but when she got to his bedroom door, she found a “Do not disturb” sign on his door.  “Oh, shucks,” she said.  “That means anyone who even so much as knocked on the door would be losing deserts for a week!  I have to figure another way.”  She went to Christopher’s bed.  He was asleep.  She nudged him awake.

“Christopher!  Wake up!” she called.  “Mr. Jenkins is in our yard trying to hurt the Fibble Wibbles!”

“Leave me alone!” he said.  “I want to get to sleep!”

“But they’ll be bopped,” she said.

“I’ll bop you right in the nose!” he said.  “Oh, all right, I’ll get up!  Call Mom and Dad!”

“I can’t!  They have that ‘Do not disturb’ sign on their door.”  The two looked out the window.

“What’s up?” Tommy asked, having been awakened by the commotion.

“Mr. Jenkins is outside,” Kimberly Mae said, “to hurt the Fibble Wibbles!”

Within seconds, Zack and Erica, having been awakened, came into the room.  “There’s a noise outside,” Zack said.

They looked out the window too.  There was Mr. Jenkins, not more than twenty feet away, with a flashlight and the rest of his gear.  He started to dig.  “Come on Fibble Wibbles! He said.  “Your worst night mare is about to take place.”  He picked up a large, wooden mallet and waved it about.  “I’m going to give each one of you a big headache.”

“What are we going to do?” Tommy asked.

“There’s that bad man!” Erica said.

“Let’s do something!” Christopher said.

“What do we do?” Erica asked.  “He’s about to dig!”

And so he did.  He stuck the shovel into the ground.  As soon as it got down a few inches, the entire shovel was pulled into the ground the rest of the way.  It went down so fast that Mr. Jenkins’ hands and arms were pulled in with it up to his elbows.  He was forced to his knees with his arms stuck in the hole.

The babies giggled.  “Fibble Wibbles got ‘em!” Zack said.