I have lived in several large cities in my time and was raised in a small town but for the life of me, I can't decide which is best. Most things have advantages and disadvantages, this being an example on a big scale.
The obvious advantage to the city is availability. I've noticed something else about living in the city and that is you still live in a small town, in a sense. What I mean by that is the vast majority of my time is spent in a three mile radius of my home. I only leave that area to do something 'special'. Work doesn't count, you drive there, then drive home.
By contrast, a small town can be larger. My hometown of about 30,000 as opposed to 750,000 here, is ten miles long and about five miles wide. That's 50 square miles for needs where its nine square miles where I live.
After you get past the 'availability' factor, its probably more about atmosphere between the two. To me, the atmosphere in a city is more localized to home with an option of going to many places in a strange land. The small town is like a home in itself with no place to go.
I still have my mother's home in that small town and have no ideas about selling it. I like to visit friends there and have a place to stay, but the main problem is, will we later want to move to a small town? Its perfectly located by a river in a very popular subdivision. Its smaller than our house, but that can be a plus.
Both of these towns are economically solid, you can't tell one bit of difference since the recent 'crash' in either. But choosing between the two will be a problem.
When I wake in the morning here, I feel my home and yard knowing its a big world out there with lots to do and places to shop. But my friends have moved.
When I wake in the morning there, I feel peacefulness, friends and the whole town, but there's hardly one really good restaurant. And it is isolated. The closest city is 165 miles and there are three other 'towns' within 79 miles in two directions.
How do you feel about large cities and small towns?
Which do you prefer for everyday life?
beyondtheveil posted on May 29, 2009
| views: 267
Comments
-
CreativeWoman said on May 29, 2009....
I really do like small town life. It's laid back. In a sense I have always felt safer, but crime creeps in more and more these days. I do like going to cities to visit and to experience the hustle and bustle. However, I hate, hate, hate the traffic. That's the biggest draw back for me.
CW
-
Hegemone said on May 29, 2009....
Me, personally, I'd rather have a quiet evening of sitting outside, looking across a field, watching for wildlife and being left alone. I rarely have the money to go out and do things, and even less do I have the want for doing it either. I've lived in the city and I've lived in the country (i.e. small town, to me, considering I live in the country in a small town, so that's what I mean if I keep using the word country). People are nicer in the country, they are more willing to help and we watch each other's back. In the city it was nothing like that, to each their own and nothing else. There's just too much going on in the city for me. So, would you get bored if you didn't have all sorts of things going on around you, people hurrying here and there, children playing, cars constantly in the street, etc.? -
uniquely-ironic said on May 29, 2009....
This is something I've given a lot of thought to. I love the convenience of a large town. I can walk a couple of blocks after 10 pm and get take out food if I have a craving and some of the better restaurants are easily within walking distance. I have other shopping options as well. The natural beauty of the area is within 20 miles of home here in the city.ButNothing beats walking down main street small town and saying hello to a handful of your friends and family. Knowing that if your car breaks down that all you have to do is pick up the phone or flag down a friend. The genuine friendliness and eye contact that you don't find in city dwellers.Deep in my heart I think I'd like to live in a smaller town. -
beyondtheveil said on May 29, 2009....
CW- I do feel safer (for my wife also) in a small town, but don't feel 'unsafe' here. In very bad times I'd definitely feel safer in a small town. The traffic can be a problem, but at least I live on the side of the city with least traffic. 'Least' doesn't mean light, however.
hege- Later in life you almost surely will have more to do things with, which makes me wonder if that would make a difference. As far as boredom goes, I can get bored in a city, no doubt about that. I think my boredom rate would be about equal.
unique- I still get that 'main street' feeling even though I don't live there. They have the big court house on one city block and across the street is the downtown. The only thing missing is soda fountains. About thirty years ago the town lost one of its industries and downtown mostly closed its doors. Since then it has recovered and downtown is full of business again.
-
silver_phoenix said on May 29, 2009....
beyond- I agree with you on your breakdown of the city and the small town. I've lived in both. Hell, I even lived in the biggest little city in the world. I had everywhere to go and there was still nothing to do. But even now, living in one of the major US cities I get that same "there's nowhere to go, nothing to do" attitude. For me, it's more about what makes it feel like home. If I'm able to get myself established in meaningful relationships, then anywhere that happens to be is home to me. That's why I cannot see myself moving from where I am now. I don't want to leave my gym, personal trainer, college, and comfort of knowing my way around this city.
I can see myself moving into a house in a safer area though.
-
Voltaire said on May 29, 2009....
Oh my, then you would be surprised of my town! Haha, 25 inhabitants.
I prefer small town life, a lot more freedom to do what pleases you.
I love the loneness of a small town and hate to vast amount of people in a big city.
Another thing, in a small town it is easier to keep control of a epidemic.
Only advantage I see in a big town is availability and easier to find a date.
But I can live without those two, for the last one internet is a alternative.
-
Lucytorial said on May 29, 2009....
Beyond ~ I love to visit cities, the vibe and atmosphere can be really engaging, interesting. Noises, smells etc.BUT I need my small town, here I feel safe, supported, engaged, befriended and also challenged. It is a place where I know that no matter what happens there will always be someone to whom I can go to for any kind of help.I'm not good with large crowds of people, I freeak out, I just love the fact it takes a long time to walk down the main street for all the friendly people I can say hello to. -
diabolicdame said on May 29, 2009....
I've never lived in a small town.. and actually I really want to now.. I'm up for change. I think both have their own charm.Where I live right now is one of the most populated cities in the world.. the 6th most actually.. 20,000,000 people in 800 sq km.. its pretty crazy.. my other home city isnt too different, its the 9th largest/most populated city in the world. So you see I've had my fair share of city crowds.. I really want to live in a smaller place for a while now. Although I wonder if I'd be able to adjust.. it would be a drastic change I suppose. -
moonriver said on May 29, 2009....
hi beyond.just a quick comment for now.my best choice is a small satellite city set within more natural surroundings (lotsa parks, hilly terrain, or smack on the beach)... closely connected to a metropolis (i can go to the city ctr within 30 min), but also somewhat insulated, thus retaining a small-town feel.gotta go for now, friend. (big day for jiggy... :-)will get back to you later. -
gingersoul said on May 29, 2009....
BeyBey......i grew up in a cosmopolitan city like Roma. And then moved in a city of 60 thousand people that is 30 minutes train-car from Roma. Then i moved in a town with less than 5 thousand people...
After moving here in Dallas i can easily tell you that my ideal city is still my hometown in Italy.....a medium size city where i know almost everybody, very close and well connected to the metropolis, so i can go there, do my things, visit museums, shops, archeological sites and then come back in my smaller environment.....and on top of this....its on the seashore, surrounded by sweet hills....
-
beyondtheveil said on May 29, 2009....
phoxy- You've got a good attitude about this kind of like my father-in-law who says wherever he feels comfortable. And you're right about that 'nothing to do' thing is everywhere.
voltaire- Twenty-five people? That's not a small town, that's a large family. I can see there wouldn't be much chance to date. If I remember right, you spend time with nature. I see why. But I understand not wanting a large city.
lucy- Good points. I feel a lot of that in my hometown too. I've noticed the only place I freak out about too many people is walmart.
diabo- In your case it would be a drastic change and would also take some time to get used to. Very different worlds. It might help to try small towns with someone and not alone - the peacefulness could drive you crazy (no kidding!).
moon- I see your point and I've lived in two places (not here) like you describe , but without the beach. I still get the feel of 'big city life' probably because most of those places are still connected to the city. At thirty minutes there's rarely openess in between.
ginsoul- Wasn't Rome built on seven hills? If it was, I'm sure it outgrew them a long time ago. I'm curious about your medium size city, is it far enough away to have open country between them? Like I said to moon, I still feel very 'connected' to the city at that distance. But I guess it wouldn't be so bad if you could have the small town feel. Also, a lot of big city people live in those towns and commute. I wonder if that would change the feel of a small town? You know, would they still be the 'laid back' type?
-
fragglesrock said on May 29, 2009....
funny you should post this, i had an experience i'm getting ready to post about that's really related! me though? i'm generally a mid-size city girl, meaning, the city is mid-size, i'm quite full size thank you very much. there's something to be said for smaller towns and knowing every neighbor, but it's not anything nice. i'd rather have a town that's large enough where you can feel like you disappear, but only when you choose to. that's exactly where i live now :) i can drive in certain places and know several people and their life stories and possibly encounter them in the supermarket but if i don't want to i just drive to a different part of town.
-
gingersoul said on May 29, 2009....
BeyBey.....oh yes..seven hills BUT not in one day....lol..
And day after day sure did grow.
Between my home town and Roma there are vast fields that in the beginning of the summer you can see covered with huge round balls made of the harvested wheat......you see cows and farms, white country roads lined up with by trees and small ponds and one lake....then you start to notice the shape of the land changing and the single villas turn in higher buildings, now closer to each other, and the first offices buildings appear more and more together until you enter in Roma driving or in train through the ancient Emperor Adriano's walls, you go along the Vatican walls as well, and that's it......you are arrived..
All the kids going to college take the train or drive to the big five universities. Its not worth the money living in their campuses. Only the students that arrive form other countries or Italian regions stay.
Then you have the thousand of people that commmute for work.
You ask if this back and forth changes the feel of my city.....nahh...
I tell you why....as you get out of the train, one breath and the sea breeze envelopes you once more and you forget the hassle and teh shuffle of the metropolis...as soon as you exit the train station in 2 minutes 2 you can take your shoes off and find yourself walking on the beach, admiring yet another gorgeous sunset...
How about that?
Plus, if you are more a country boy...just 15 minutes up North we have our country side with hills, vineyards, woods and lakes enough to satisfy your desire..
I told you once and i tell you again.... my home will be always open to you in case you want to visit.........:-) -
queenparanoia said on May 29, 2009....
me too... i lvie both in a large city and a small towns. but i prefer the city. life in the city is faster and at my age i want that... ;-) -
GracieLee said on May 30, 2009....
cities have so much going on and so many people to be friends with, so many restaurants and shops. for me, the biggest down side to cities is the crime.
i don't know what to say about small towns, but i can talk about suburbs. for me, the biggest down side to suburbs is that cops have nothing better to do than give out tickets. in cities, cops are busy with crime, but in the burbs cops are usually fund-raising for the municipality by giving out tickets.
all things considered, i think cities are great places to visit but not the best places to spend your life or raise kids if you have them. -
moonriver said on May 30, 2009....
hi beyond.
actually, a lot will depend on how far the big urban centers and the satellite cities and smaller towns are spaced apart, and what's in between.
in my adopted mountain city where i now live, my neighborhood has the look and feel of a semi-isolated mountain village.
footpaths, patches of forest, gurgling brook, even feral dogs and cats.
a 10-min brisk walk away, and i'm on a regular suburban neighborhood, public transport, but still a lot of open spaces, parks, quiet alleys.
30 minutes away, i'm at the central business district, with malls, night markets, university building complexes.
then major roads run again through sparsely-inhabited mountainous terrain, quaint little farming villages, and hot springs resorts.
then an hour away is the coast with beach resorts, strings of small towns, and a still bigger metropolis.
i'd like to believe that here we enjoy the best of both worlds.
i have this book by christopher alexander, pattern language.
(one of my most treasured books bought in berkeley...)
i've read it front to back, and back to front, a dozen times already.
there's a repository of the design patterns at www.patternlanguage.com, but it requires you to be a paying member to access the texts.
see if you can download this e-book containing the first 20 chapters.
i'm sure you'll find it very, very interesting...
i think a couple of chapters, especially "2. the distribution of towns" and "3. city country fingers," will answer your questions quite well.
when sophie and i built our home, we used many patterns taken from that book.
-
Me-Myself&I said on May 30, 2009....
howdy! huh.... i was raised in a big city, lived in alot of big cities. i like my small towns, my choice is to live in a small town. too much noise and too busy for me in a bigger place. heck, i am too wound up of a person. if i didn't have my ~no mans land to help me stay grounded.... i would be a goner. -
beyondtheveil said on May 30, 2009....
frags (fullsizedgirl)- My inlaws live in an almost-mid-sized city not too far from my hometown. We have also considered moving there. I don't think their town is quite as large as yours though.
ginsoul- That's much better since its completely separate. Every time you describe Italy it it almost makes me feel homesick even though I've never been there. I guess its falling in love with a place of your dreams. I'd like nothing better than to visit you in Italy (with wifey in tow of course). She would love it too.
queenie- I know how you feel. When I was your age I took off to the big city.
gracie- My big city doesn't exactly have suburbs. Its quite large geographically, but all falls under one name. There are very few small areas at the fringes under a different name. In over thirty years here, I've never heard the word suburbs used in reference to the city. We aren't listed as one of the high crime cities - at least not yet. I do agree that I've noticed traffic cops are much more prevalent in outlying areas rather than downtown higher crime areas.
moon- Its kind of difficult for me to imagine your area. For instance, the only 'quaint villages' I've seen (or those I'd consider quaint) are a few in Vermont and the mountains of Colorado. I couldn't make the link operate for me which is nothing unusual considering my 'quaint' computer talent, so I'll have to wait for wife to wake up.
-
Voltaire said on May 30, 2009....
Yeah 25 maybe 30 people at it's height during summer and tourist season.
Not much chance at all, and yes I do spend much time outdoors.
I love the silence.
-
beyondtheveil said on Jun 01, 2009....
memy- What's the fun in being grounded?
voltaire- Five tourists, huh? Not bad, that's about 20% of the population.
-
Voltaire said on Jun 01, 2009....
Beyond,
Yeah turism is big in my town. ;-)
-
moonriver said on Jun 01, 2009....
hi beyond.if you're still having problems in downloading the pdf file, i can send you a copy via email.as for my area's quaint villages, i'll send you some youtube links too.but later, my friend. gotta go back to cooking a great beef mechado dinner(with potatoes, plantain, and bokchoi) for me, son jiggy, and a guest... :-) -
gingersoul said on Jun 01, 2009....
BeyBey.... but, of course, with wifey too....my home is big ....and i would love to meet her....:-)