There are nights I sit here and either feel tears threatening at the corners of my eyes, or frustration. Maybe in some way they are one in the same - the tears and frustration that is. I've lived here nearly 3 years now and still have really no social life. Guess I shouldn't complain, but it is one adjustment that I haven't been able to fully grasp yet.
Sweden is a lot of things - beauty, opportunities, medical, and so on. But it is also something else too - very lonely. The people are higly reserved and I mean higly reserved, almost to the point of being cold. If you are lucky you may end up in a large city Like Goteborg, Stockholm, or Lund - that is where a lot of immigrants from England and the USA are, but if not then you end up in a small area like myself.
I have lived in the same apartment building for these 3 years and still not one neighbor acknowledges my presence and if you should smile, or nod, or say "hi" to any of them they hurry down the stairs or into their apartment like you are some freak of nature trying to eat them. If you are lucky enough to belong to a expat board where the members actually embrace you then it does go a bit smoother, but if not (and there are many out there) then it makes things even worse. Kind of like sitting in the middle of the room and thousands of people all around you talking and not one of them bothers to talk with you. That is what I'm going through right now.
I know that I'm whinning right now and that maybe I should get over it, but I don't want to at this point and time. Right now, I feel sorry for myself and I think that we all should be allowed the moment or two to feel sorry for ourselves, to bemoan our circumstances. There were alot of things that were going through my mind at the time we were leaving the US, but not once did I think of how it could be. Sometimes the hardest sacrifices we make are the ones we make for our families.....
